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How Should I Tell?

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18 replies to this topic

#1
_AvRiL_

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How should I tell my parents and friends about being bi?
Should I just keep it a secret? I've told 3 people already, but I really trust them.
Will my friends think I'm a freak or something? Because I don't want anyone to avoid me or anything...
I'm not sure what to do, and I'm scared of what will happen when I do something.
Any advice?
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#2
e the e

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You're the one that knows your situation best, so you have to make the decision yourself.
Keep in mind;
You don't have to come out. Just because you realized it doesn't mean you jump right out.
You should wait till you're actually dating someone of the same sex before you come out.
If your friends don't like you for it, they aren't your friends.

You don't have to do anything.
If you're not comfortable yet, then just stay in the closet. No problem with that.

I'd just sit your parents down and talk to them about it. Explain stuff, you know.


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#3
Existentialism

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[I'm waiting for Erin to come up with a better answer while typing this.]

#1 You might not even be bi, it might be a phase, so I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions just yet.

#2 Once you are sure you actually are bi you should really have no need to tell anyone unless you must under the circumstances of actually being with another girl, are surrounded by people that act homophobic not knowing that you are, or really think people should know.

It's different for everyone, but like I said there's no real need for people to know unless you have a legit reason.

Edit; Erin beat me to it in much better words.
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#4
_AvRiL_

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Okay, well, I'm pretty sure I'm bi. I have a crush on this girl, but it sux, cause I can't do nuthin. She has a boyfriend...
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#5
Existentialism

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In your other topic you had never liked a girl, so that's good to know.

Btw, I'm actually in the same situation. You'll just have to accept it and move on and find some one else, or make an attempt once she dumps the boy. ;]
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#6
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yeah but if she isnt bi, then she'll be like "What the fuck? Get away from me creep!" And you might not think so, but what if she does say something like that? She's kinda popular, and if she starts spreading rumors of some sort, then thats not good.
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#7
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Knowing the persons sexuality is a key thing. That's first step. There might be a big change that she's not into girls.

Do you only like her because of appearence, or do you actually talk to her? There are a lot of things you have to consider.
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#8
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I talk to her like, all the time... and she's hot. But she has a very nice personality. She would be absolutely perfect to me if she was bi. Not many ppl admit these things(about being bi and stuff), so I basically have NO chance with her. My hopes aren't high...
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#9
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In my previous post I meant to say 'chance' not 'change,' sorry.

Okay, so if you talk to her, that's a good thing. I'd say just keep going with that.

Believe me if you keep talking to her and end up being really good friends that will let you know for sure if she likes you or not. With some people you can tell on the outside, but if you're actually in the situation you'll know if there's a connection or not.

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#10
Opinicus

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Depends on your friends tbh.
Do you think your friends will accept you?
If you have any doubts on whether they will accept you or not than i would suggest not telling them.
Are you ready for people to know?
Think about that question.

Also; becareful with who you tell.
It could come to bite you back in the ass.
You shall truly know your friends after telling them.
Your true friends will accept you and wont share the news with anyone else.



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#11
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QUOTE (Awesome Alex @ Jun 26 2009, 03:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Depends on your friends tbh.
Do you think your friends will accept you?
If you have any doubts on whether they will accept you or not than i would suggest not telling them.
Are you ready for people to know?
Think about that question.

Also; becareful with who you tell.
It could come to bite you back in the ass.
You shall truly know your friends after telling them.
Your true friends will accept you and wont share the news with anyone else.

I agree that true friends will accept you as you are, so isn't that more of a reason for telling them?

I wouldn't want friends that couldn't expect the fact I was bi or gay. Plus, your friends might make jokes about G/B, but when you acutually come out about it, it could make an impact on what they previoulsy thought about it. They might end up realizing that there's nothing wrong with it and become more comfortable as time goes on.
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#12
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i waited until my crush came out of the closet and then i hauled ass and asked if she wanted to go out.
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#13
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How do you wait for some one to 'come out of the closet' if you're not even sure they're into the same sex? You can't wait around forever, you should just know.
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#14
Opinicus

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Lol, Jess wants meh wink.gif
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#15
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Don't tell anyone you don't trust, and it's true this could just be a phase, but I've told 3 people but one of them I couldn't trust so I told them I was kidding and they believed me. I have different friends like, friends that are really trustworthy, serious friends, and then I have friends that I just mess around with, like friends that I can't tell anything serious. If your really into it, tell your trustworthy friends, or just 1 person.
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#16
tundah

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i would not advise you to tell anyone until ure financially independent and could stand on your own two feet. then who dont like it, could bite it!.... until then, we could just let them think we are who they want us to be.... bleh... just my contribution though... just a thought
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#17
ApostleTheCat

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dont strugggle....keep it a secret and only tell those u trust.
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#18
maktrax

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Depends on the enviroment you're in. Is your household really conserevitive? or more liberal? And yeah, anyone who stops being your friend for being bi isn't any friend you would want anyways
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#19
Dr. Slade

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girls often experiment in adolescence. so don't worry
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