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How To Tell Your Sexuality

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#1
Lostnbrokenhearted4ever

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QUOTE
Feel free to send me a message with any complaints, suggestions, or advice - Occasional Desire.

How To Tell Your Sexuality

There is a large misconception about how to tell your sexuality. The main question you really need to ask yourself here, is "Would I preform acts of sexuality with a member of the same sex?"

If you answered yes:

Homosexual means you are attracted to the same sex, and the same sex only.

Bisexual means you are attracted to both male and female.

If you answered no:

Heterosexual means you are attracted to the opposite sex.


However, a lot of people class themselves as bicurious. Being bicurious isn't exactly Heterosexual or Bisexual. People who are bicurious want to experiment with members of the same gender. After that stage, some people find it just isn't for them, and others find it's exactly what they want. It's very much all about experiencing certain things in life, and clarifying whatever questions are in your mind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with eperimentation, think of it as a guide in life - I assure you, everybody has been confused of their sexuality at some point or another. It's completely normal. You don't NEED to know, it's okay to be open about your options.

If you're young, it's probably best not to jump ahead and try to figure this out just yet, I suggest waiting until you're ready to take the next step. If you're worried, don't be. It's natural to feel scared at this stage in life - but often the confusion can become too much for some people. It's better to wait until you know you're in the right place, rather than acting upon what you're feeling at the moment. You may find you'll regret it. The level of hormones in a teenagers body is the highest they will be throughout your life, 'wondering' whether you could be anything other than straight at this moment is a mere thought, this does not mean that you are. Don't go getting worked up about this until a little later on.

Overall, a person cannot tell you if you are Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian, or whatever. You must do this yourself.
And if friends do not accept you due to your sexuality. They're not really your friends.

I would also add that there is a difference between sexuality and gender. Transexuals believe they were born with the wrong genitals, and can be straight, gay or bi. Transexualism is not a sexuality, but more likely a physical disorder. I know it ends in "sexual", and that can be confusing, but it really is different.

-Objet_trouve
-Occasional Desire

Tips On Coming Out

QUOTE
You should first accept it, and embrace it.
Do not try to deny it and try to change it, you are who you are. Embrace your characteristics, not try to destroy them.
Secondly, build up self confidence and be happy with yourself. Not vital, but it definetly helps I would imagine.
When you want to tell, tell people who you want to know, close friends and family. People over fret and tend to keep hiding it. You cannot control or change it. So live and love it. You must understand it isn't some kind of choice. You're born this way.

Don't over fret what others think. Everybody will be insulted and such. But do not pay heed to it. The only opinions that matter in the end are those of loved ones. Not people who merely want to put you down, and I doubt loved ones want to do that. There is no specific time or way to 'come out', it is whenever you feel ready. If pressure is making you feel uncomfortable, do not cave into it.

Just trying to say, love it and yourself.

QUOTE

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#2
Opinicus

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Basically what NQ said.
You're your own person and can only be responsible in making your own decisions.

If you like men and your a guy, then your gay. But, if you like girls as well. Then your bi.
If you like girls and you are a girl, then you're a lesbian. But if you also like boys as well. Then your bi.

That is probably the best answer because seriously, what else is there to say?
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#3
Autumn Breeze

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thanks alex that clears it up xD
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#4
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QUOTE (CordlessCable @ Apr 5 2009, 09:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Basically what NQ said.
You're your own person and can only be responsible in making your own decisions.

If you like men and your a guy, then your gay. But, if you like girls as well. Then your bi.
If you like girls and you are a girl, then you're a lesbian. But if you also like boys as well. Then your bi.

That is probably the best answer because seriously, what else is there to say?

'like' feelings can be mixed up though.
For example, in nineth grade I was really good friends with a guy. I thought I liked him so I must be bi. Turns out I was just confusing friend liking for bf liking. I loved the guy, but I would never get physical with him.
I think it's more than just like.


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#5
Opinicus

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I knew you were gonna do this xD

Yes you have a point. Its hard to explain.
If someone asked me how to tell your sexuality i would tell them to experiment with both male and female and then to decide for themselves what their sexuality is.
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#6
Lostnbrokenhearted4ever

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QUOTE (Erin the Exuberant @ Apr 5 2009, 07:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
'like' feelings can be mixed up though.
For example, in nineth grade I was really good friends with a guy. I thought I liked him so I must be bi. Turns out I was just confusing friend liking for bf liking. I loved the guy, but I would never get physical with him.
I think it's more than just like.

Yeah, Like is as clear as mud.
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#7
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Do what?

'Course, you don't necissarily need to experiment to know.
Well I didn't. Once I figured out what the hell sexuality was, I realized I would never date a guy. I couldn't picture myself doing it. Just isn't right. Where as girls turned me on, I found myself liking them. My friends always asked what boy I liked, and I would think of a girl.
So for some people, there's no need to experiment.

:]
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#8
Autumn Breeze

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not even a exception for me xD


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#9
Opinicus

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Hmm i see.
But, it doesnt neccessarily hurt to experiment.
People just have to get it in their head that its up to them to decide what sexuality they are.
Well personally i think people are confused with their sexuality as they are scared what others might think.


Edit- NQ, when did you start being a mod for this section?
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#10
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It might be confusing.
But on the other hand it could be just denial.
When I first found out, I was like 'holy shit i like girls. holy fucking shit no. oh crap. this can't be real'
I mean, I knew I liked girl. I just didn't want it to be real. So I told myself I was bi to kinda help me deal with it.
I'm not exactly sure how to explain it.
I wasn't really scared of what others think, I was just kind of freaking out thinking it wasn't normal and that I was the only one.

Nq's been mod for a while now lol
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#11
Lostnbrokenhearted4ever

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QUOTE (CordlessCable @ Apr 5 2009, 08:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hmm i see.
But, it doesnt neccessarily hurt to experiment.
People just have to get it in their head that its up to them to decide what sexuality they are.
Well personally i think people are confused with their sexuality as they are scared what others might think.


Edit- NQ, when did you start being a mod for this section?

Sure it is great to experiment if you're having doubts or curious.
But I think if somebody just has desires and feelings for one gender, and not the other. That there isn't much need for experiment. Especially since most Straight or Gay people find the same or opposite (Respective) gender gross.

I've been a mod for G and S and Help and Advice since... ....A month ago?

^ Which alot of people may do. Growing up thinking that "Homosexuality or Bisexuality is abnormal". They might feel the need to think it's hormones or what not. But once they come to accepting themself, then they can embrace their sexuality.
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#12
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Man I was prazing the lord when I figured out there was a name for it and I wasn't some weird allien human. Just having a name for it helped me come to terms.
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#13
Opinicus

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Well, it seems like we have said pretty much everything needed in this topic.

I agree with what both of you said but it really wouldnt hurt to experiment.
Like Erin said, she liked a boy in 9th grade but she said she wouldnt do anything physical with him but how do you know if you havent done anything sexually with the gender?
Uggh i dont think im explaining this very well.

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#14
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Yes but I realized I only liked him as a friend.
I had no need to experiment with it, because once I pictured it in my head I realized it was disgusting and ew.

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#15
Lostnbrokenhearted4ever

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QUOTE (Erin the Exuberant @ Apr 5 2009, 07:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes but I realized I only liked him as a friend.
I had no need to experiment with it, because once I pictured it in my head I realized it was disgusting and ew.

Hahahahaha.

That reminds me of something girls would say in JH tongue.gif
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#16
Opinicus

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haha okay fair enough.
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#17
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JH?
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#18
Lostnbrokenhearted4ever

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QUOTE (Erin the Exuberant @ Apr 5 2009, 08:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
JH?

Junior High
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#19
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Well kissing and touching a boy is ew!
they have kooties dontcha know.
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#20
sindri123

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QUOTE (Erin the Exuberant @ Apr 6 2009, 02:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well kissing and touching a boy is ew!
they have kooties dontcha know.

I loled ^^
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