These are three of my older poems comments? Criticism?
...Bleed...
Her heart so happens to softly break…
As through the night she fails to awake…
Amongst unfertile lands she plants deaths seed…
For her, for seven nights, the world will bleed…
Ah, miracle in the faintest hour…
One man’s lust for life turns sour…
He ends all innocence unforgiving misdeed…
The pain he stirs makes the heavens bleed…
Wednesday’s child once filled with grace…
Forever more a frown stains her face…
Her heart of future ruins warns to heed…
For all mans sins…the world will bleed…
Lover's Vow
Place your hand in mine and step with me into the light…
Let the love they think we’ve fallen in be a mirage tonight.
Let us dance for queens and let us converse with kings…
We will be merry until the banshee sings.
Oh...and when the clock hands align…
I’ll deliver a blow amongst your spine.
I promise you here on the ballroom deck…
It will not hurt when I break your neck.
And as those blue eyes of yours start to cry…
I promise to hold you while I watch you die.
Wolf Warrior
The wolf’s cries echo the land at night while the moon kisses iced seas
Shadows of the leafless twigs dance beneath their trees
Where are you going Wolf Warrior? What are you searching for?
When you reach your destiny, what is there in store?
I am searching for the land where wild flowers grow
The place where bird’s arms wrap around the land gently like a bow
But if to this place I wish to go then I must be strong
I must find the courage I may need to beat what challenge comes along
Run Wolf Warrior to beat the storm where the snow blankets the ground
Where cotton white dusted diamond drops surround you all around
I will be the guardian whom no one ever sees
I will be your sword and shield when weakness has you on your knees
So Wolf Warrior, go, find the place where the moon kisses iced seas
Where shadows of the greenest leaves dance beneath the trees
Find the place where you are free where the wild flowers grow
The place where birds arms wrap the land around gently like a bow.