Push it away
The world looks red
People with fish eyes
The ground sucks
Walk on my fingertips
Displacing the fog
The weight of my body
is too mush to bear
The memory drained
the life from the dull
An ocean of insects
worked like a sheet
the immovable fact
Buried my mind
in a horse-hair coat
in a pile
on the floor
Push it away
The world looks red
People with fish eyes
The ground sucks
Walk on my fingertips
Displacing the fog
The weight of my body
Is too much to bear
The memory drained
The life from the doll
The ocean of insects
Moved like a sheet
The immovable fact
Buried my mind
In a horsehair coat
In a pile
On the floor
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The World Looks Red
Started by
BLOODY MESS
, May 02 2008 07:03 AM
#1
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:03 AM

#2
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:06 AM

What the hell was that?!
#3
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:21 AM

Are you impressed ?
#4
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:26 AM

*laughs*
Do I sound it?
No!
Fucking hell.
Do I sound it?
No!
Fucking hell.
#5
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:37 AM

mazing
#6
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:37 AM

OMG, this poem makes me XOXOXO my soul. You are so talented. It reminds me of T.S. Elliot.
#7
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:45 AM

Bongzilla, where did you find those rhymes, it's fantastic !!!
LaughableEmo, thank you. I've been inspired by M. Gira's book, "The Deadly Swans". A great writer.
LaughableEmo, thank you. I've been inspired by M. Gira's book, "The Deadly Swans". A great writer.
#8
Posted 02 May 2008 - 07:58 AM

I thought it sucked.
#9
Posted 02 May 2008 - 08:05 AM

That's not very kind...
I feel sad now.
I feel sad now.
#10
Posted 02 May 2008 - 08:43 AM

OMFG this rules!!
#11
Posted 03 May 2008 - 03:14 AM

QUOTE (VeNnnGeAnCeThouShaltBeMine @ May 2 2008, 04:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought it sucked.
OMG! SOMEONE WITH SENSE!
#12
Posted 03 May 2008 - 03:42 AM

QUOTE (bongzilla666 @ May 2 2008, 05:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
didn't you take emo 101? you shouldn't say those things to an emo. he might go to far with his cutting.
If he posts it on here, its open for discussion. And if he wants to go too far with his cutting, just because I didnt like his poem, its not my problem.
#13
Posted 03 May 2008 - 04:16 AM

QUOTE (VeNnnGeAnCeThouShaltBeMine @ May 3 2008, 12:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If he posts it on here, its open for discussion. And if he wants to go too far with his cutting, just because I didnt like his poem, its not my problem.
Fair point...
And the poem DOES suck!
#14
Posted 03 May 2008 - 06:16 AM

You don't like the TRUE POETRY, heretics !!!
#15
Posted 03 May 2008 - 07:48 AM

QUOTE (BOODY MESS @ May 3 2008, 03:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You don't like the TRUE POETRY, heretics !!!
Everyone liked my poetry thread... Before it got deleted. >=[ i fixed the poem i put up, btw.
#16
Posted 03 May 2008 - 08:40 AM

What 's the problem with your poetry ? You talks about it all the time but I still don't understand.
#17
Posted 03 May 2008 - 10:04 AM

Nah dudes, this poem rules! It's hardcore poetry though it's hard to understand: at first I felt confusion, but next I understood it was pure reversed love.
#18
Posted 03 May 2008 - 11:13 AM

QUOTE (Emotronic @ May 3 2008, 07:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nah dudes, this poem rules! It's hardcore poetry though it's hard to understand: at first I felt confusion, but next I understood it was pure reversed love.
eh... Nope. I understood it, alright. I just didnt like it, is all.
#19
Posted 03 May 2008 - 11:16 AM

Il rephrase that: I know the effect he was trying to achieve, he just isnt very good at it.
Il rephrase that: I know the effect he was trying to achieve, he just isnt very good at it.
Il rephrase that: I know the effect he was trying to achieve, he just isnt very good at it.
#20
Posted 03 May 2008 - 11:19 AM

You rephrased it twice.
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