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Joushi.

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#1
Azrael.

Azrael.

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Okay, first of all this is not just a poem [the two haiku's], it's a story aswell, well mainly.
I want to get people opinions on my writing of my stories and not just my poetry.
Seccondly, This is long.
And yes I did the Haiku[s].
Sorry, If they're wrong gramtically....
Sorry for any other spelling or gramtical errors aswell.
For those of you who don't know how to pronounce them.
In a haiku, the first 'line' is 5 morae, the seccond is 7 morae, and the third is 5 morae.
[Morae are different to syllables, schould anyone ask.]
I've put the morae underneath, aswell as the translation..
Oh and by the way the story is set in Japan, and also if you think these types of stories are stupid, or just dont like them; go away and dont comment.
This contains mature content, so for those of you to immature, dont read or make silly comments.
And lastly I do use some japanese words in this, but ive written what they mean in brackets.
[Hai means 'hi' or 'yes', mainly 'yes'.]
[Jikei means 'affectionate older brother'.]
[Shisuta means 'sister'.]
[Kyokugaisha means 'outsider'.]
[Kisama means 'bastard', technically it means 'you bastard'.]
.............................................................................

Attached File  rain.jpg   76.99KB   4 downloads

The truth about these events, you may decide on your own.
I, however will tell you their story.
The Love.
The Hope.
The Loss.

****

hatsu shigure / riku ni yokotau / mizu no oto
[ha-tsu - shi-gu-re / ri-ku - ni - yo-ko-ta-u / mi-zu - no - o-to]
the first cold shower / stretching out towards land / the sound of water

The girl sang, Under the pavilion's canape.
The water running down, in front of her.
Running her hand through the cold water.

"Maru!"
The girl turned around and ran through the glorious rain, feeling it run down her back; makeing her shiver, wipeing away her tears.
"Hai, mother." She said when she reatched the house.
"Your betrothed, wishes to see you."
Maru, looked up at her mother, she was still beautiful, even after these long years, Maru looked into her eyes and saw pain. She flinched and turned away.
"Hai, mother."
Maru turned and walked down the wooden hall, to her small room. She changed into, one of her silk kimono's. She looked in the mirror; she saw the clear blues eyes, which she'd inherited from her mother, stareing back at her. Like rain. She stealed her nerves and walked out. Walking along the outside of the house, under the canape. She stopped; hearing her name. She turned around and stood there was Takashi. She sucked in her breath, she started to move away. He grabbed her arm; a touch she missed.
"Come away with me."
She turned around and started into his eyes, the memories flooding over her.
"Lets be as we once were."

It had been a year, since she'd seeen that face; Her mother and herself were travelling, comming to join her father and jikei, in the capital. Thieves attacked their carriage. The guards and the theives fought, but it was obivious that the guards where out-numberd.
"Mother!" Maru called out, as her mother fainted.
Maru looked out the carriage window and stared at the men on horseback. One of them stole a jade stone, right off her neck. Anger over took common sense, she lept out of the window and knocked one of the men off their horse. She chased after the man with her jade stone. She caught up to him; the leader. He broke off from the other men. She chased him through the the woods, with only the moonlight lighting their way.

When they came to a river, he stopped.
"I cannot pass here and you are here all alone. Leave and I will not harm you."
Maru moved her horse forward and kicked the man with her foot. Then turning her horse around to face him again. She gave him a small smile and he laughed. He slowly got off his horse and he sat down, gazing at the river.
"What are you doing?" Maru hissed thought her clenched, angry jaw.
"Sitting. Thinking."
She slowly got down from her horse and went over to his saddle and searched for her stone.
"It's not there." He called.
She still looked, her hands fumbleing abit.
"Where is it?!" she shreaked.
He looked up at her.
"Where would you hide something."
He's got it on him somewhere, she thought. Maru attacked him, trying to find the stone. He pushed at her as she tackled him onto the ground. He moved and roled over on top of her holding her there.
"Get off me!" Maru yelled.
Everything went black.

She woke up in a small hut. It was bare, apart from two matts and there was a small fire going on one side; with meat roasting on it. It's smell comforting and she realised how hungry she was. She tried to sit up; her hands and feet were bound. She stuggled. Eventually the rope on her hands was loose enough. She slowly eased her hands out of the rope and then reatched down to undo the rope around her ankles.

"I wounldn't have expected a noble's daughter to free herself from thoese ropes." The theif said.
Maru jumped.
"What do you want me with me?" She asked still undoing the ropes. She looked down at her kimono; it was filthy.
"Nothing."
"Then why keep me here? Why tie me up?"
"Because, I didn't want you attacking me, as your so fond of doing."
"Why'd you bring me here?"
"Did you have any idea where you where?"
"N-no." Maru stutterd as the realisation hit her, she had no idea. He'd helped her, sort of.
"Why bring me here?" Maru asked again.
He didn't answer, he got up slowly and went over to the fire and got the cooking meat of it.
"Whats your name?"
"Maru, yours?"
"Takashi."
She gasped.
"T-Takashi..."

She cringed away from him. This couldn't have been the man she had been engaed to marry, but then his family where killed, somehow. Could it be him? She looked at him. He was watching her, while holding some of the meat. Noting her gaze, he sowly came over to her and handed it to her. She gently took it from him. Looking at it, it smelt so good and made her mouth water, but what if it was poisoned? As if he guessed her thoughts he tore abit of the meat away and ate it himself, before going over the sit on the other bamboo matt. She looked at him while she ate, he wasn't bad looking.

"Whats your family name?" Maru asked tentetively.
"I have no family. Therefore, I have no family name."

They finnished eating in scilence.

Takashi then said; "Theres a bathing hut around back, as long as you dont go wondering off and getting lossed you can use it."

Maru got up and slowly walked towards the door, mindfull every step she took, brought her closer to him. She slowly passed Takashi and then rushed through the door. She heard laughter as she left. But the quiet, inronic type.

She was snapped out of the memory; by the sound of raised voices.
"Go, hide." She whisperd to Takashi, and kissed him, savouring the kiss.

She continued waking down the hallway, towards the raised voices, towards her betrothed. Leaving her lover behind. She choked back the threatening tears. Now was not the time. She approached the door, and knocked slightly.

"Come in." Her father called.
She enterd slowly, exactly how she'd been instructed to do so. She bowed to the three men in the room; her father, her betrothed, her brother.

"Ah you've arrived, finaly." Her father said disspassionately.
She looked at him ever so quickly. Wondering at the reason she was a girl. Why she deserved the careless manner he treated her with. She was just a barganing chip to him; to unite two whealthy famlies. She looked at her betrothed, Hisayuki; a man much older than herself. A man, who she dispised, who was wealthy and cruel. The man, she was marrying. She glanced at her brother, he looked like her father; with his chisled features and dark eyes. But he was nothing like father, personality waise. Neither of his children where. Her brother looked sad, he didn't want her to marry; Hisayuki, her betrothed any more than she did.

"We've desided; you will be marrying, in two days time." The abruptness of the words and the date tore though Maru. Wrenching up her greif and dislaying in before her. It took all her strength to not break down then.

She bowed out of the room and started walking towards her small room, watching the singing rain fall. She heard footsteps behind her. Sher knew who it was she stopped and turned to face the rain, watching it.
"Jikei" Maru whisperd.
"Shisuta, I wish you didnt have to marry him."
"Do not speak so candidly, Jikei." Maru said holding back her tears more. She ran out from under the canape and throught the rain, to the pavilion. Where she sat and stared and the rain falling ion the pond. Which was on one side of the small pavilion. Thinking. Daydreaming. Remembering.

Weeks had passed. In the little hut, somewhere in the vast green forest. Maru, had told him who she was. He'd guessed the majourity of it and yet, he'd showed no signs of wanting to harm her. It was twilight. Maru stepped outside to watch the stars come out, gazeing up at the gazillions of twinkleing lights. She heard, Takashi come near to where she was standing and sit down. She turned towards him and very quietly asked him.
"Who are you, why do you steal?"
He sighed and then looking up watching the stars, he began to speak.
"I was the son of a noble man, but my father died, when I was 8. My mother was already dead, leaveing me all alone. Another noble family took me in. He was a kind man with one son, who was very cruel, and about 10 years my senior. Years passed, I was alone. And then one day I found out, that my father had been killed, by none other than the noble who had taken me in." He stopped, caught in the memories. "And they were planning my death, after they had gotten me to leave them all my inhertence, should i die. I was 16 years old. What else could I do. I ran away and I was found by an old theif. I was starveing. He helped me, taught me the tricks of the trade, and when he died, I took over after him." He looked at me waiting my reaction.

"W-who was the noble and his son?"
"The noble was, Kariko Suduke"

I must have gone white. I had to sit down, quickly.

"What is it?" He asked seeming concerd.
"Kariko Suduke's son; Hisayuki is my betrothed."

Maru jerked away from the memories and hit the batterd surface of the water, with her hand. Dispruting it even more. What was more chilling; is her lover had once been her betrothed. Before he was presumed dead. She couldn't hold back the burning, chokeing tears, anymore; they streamed down her face, a casscade of sorrow. Her thoughts turned to the last night she was with Takashi.

She had been sat on her matt, combing her hair.
"Tomorrow, I'm takeing you to the edge of the forest." Takashi said without explanation.
I looked up at him, supprised.
"Why?"
"Why should you stay here? Your betrothed is waiting."
She sucked in her breath. "I am only 18, he's 12 years my senior."
"Does that matter. Women younger than you have been married off, to men that age." He said bitterly.
His words stung, she knew even if he didn't, she had grown to like him. Maybe even love him. Maru slowly got up and walked over to him.
"He's not the man I love. I never could love him." She whisperd to him sadly, before starting to turn.

He caught her arm and before she knew it he kissed her. Supprised she backed away alittle. Then, when she saw the hurt in his eyes. She stroked his face; from temple to jaw and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her. Holding his once betrothed. Slowly he moved his hands to undo her kimono, he gently slid it off, caressing her skin and kissing her. Her hands resting on his chest as she kissed him. Slowly, she took off his shirt, and felt a blush rise in her face. He looked down at her and stroked her face. He whisperd three small words, which mean so much. She whisperd them back. He picked her up and carried her over to one of the matts, and slowly took off her undergarments, her kissed her mouth, her neck, her chest, and ran his hands along her stomach, he removed his trousers and then kissing her on her mouth and whispering.

"Are you sure?"

She looked in the eyes of the man she loved, the man she had spent three months with. The man she was leaveing tomorrow. She nodded. He slowly pushed himself inside her and took her virginity.

The next morning Takashi woke, with Maru sleeping; snuggled into him. He looked down at her. Knowing she had to leave and he didn't want her to go. She woke up and looked at him. She kissed him and they lay there for an hour just holding each other. Before slowly moveing away to get dressed and eat breakfast. He led her in the direction of the capital, they walked for half a day. Before stopping in the forest near the road into the glorious city. He kissed her. She whisperd to him.

"I'll always love you."

Before stumbling out of the forest and to the nearest guard.

A few days later, the speculation of what had happend to Maru, calmed down but not with out help. Kariko Suduke; had been found murderd. Beheaded and beaten by a man with a vengance. The killer was never found. Had, Takashi killed him?

Back in the present, Maru thought to herself, she still dont know whether, Takashi did kill Kariko. But what does it matter, Kariko was a cruel, visous man who killed Takashi's father, he sould be dead, shouldn't he? But does killing him, because he killed make any sense? If you kill a man like that, you become just like him. Knowing she wouldn't be able to put the thoughts out of her head. She wanderd away from the pavillion and house untill she found Takashi. By the outer wall. He smiled when he saw her. The half smile she knew so well and loved. She found it hard to not smile back at him. Stealing hersef she asked him.

"Did you kill Kariko Suduke?"
He looked at her then down at the green grass, and then looked her in the eyes and said.
"No."
"Do you know what happend to him?"
He sighed.
"When you left the foest and went to one of the guards. I went into the town and snuck into, Kariko Suduke's house. He recconised me and we fought. He was loosing and he said 'kill me'. I didn't strike the final blow. I turned and started to walk out of the room. Then Suduke's son; Hisayuki came in and before I could act, he took up his fathers sword and sliced off his father's head. He then looked and me." He stopped. Maru grasped his hand and held it in her hands. He looked at her. "I fled the house, knowing if I stayed I would be incarcerated as the murderer. Then a year later I came back. For you, after hearing you hadn't married Hisayuki. Why hadn't you?"

Maru took a deep breath. "After his fathers murder, he became even more violent and selfish. He was sent away by the king to 'calm down' as it were. I was not allowed to marry him. But I will in two days time." Her grip tightend slightly and then loosed. She stared down at the ground. Takashi, held onto her hand with one of his hands and with the other he tilted her face upwards to his and he kissed her.

"So the wimp of a boy comes back then." A man said, and watched them break apart.
"Hisayuki." Maru said barely audible. He looked at her with such distain, she looked away and he laughed.
"Now Takashi, I thought I told you to stay away. Or I'd call the guards on you."
"Why schould I be scared of a petty man like you, who killed his own father?"
Hisayuki laughed again.
"Becasue I had the guts to do what you couldn't. He was defeated. He schould have been killed. Yet you let him live and besides he became rather an annoyance in his later years. Kept talking about repenting, sinse all his sins had got him nowhere. But I wont be the same."
"Your a monster." Maru said to, Hisayuki and then noticed shadows behind the trees. Three shadows, three men. What where they doing there? She looked at Hisayuki and backed away from him, fearfully. Takashi moved in front of her. Takashi and Hisayuki, were left faceing each other.
"Aww how brave is this kyokugaisha, you're a coward." Hisayuki said as he approached Takashi and they started fighting. Both never seemed to get past the other, and then Hisayuki, managed to get past one of Takashi's weaknesses and twisted his right arm around. Yanking Takashi's arm out of its socket. Takashi, yelled and pushed Hisayuki away. Takashi then put his right arm between his legs and pushed the arm back into the socket. He attacked Hisayuki with more anger than before and Hisayuki soon found himself loosing.

Hisayuki was on his knees, Takashi holding him up.
"Do it." Hisayuki said. "Kill me."
Takashi looked in his eyes and moved away. "It's not worth takeing your life."
"That was your gravest mistake, not takeing my life." Hisayuki said laughing.
"Kisama." Takashi said as he fell to the floor, as if in slow motion. Blood dribbleing out of his mouth. A gapeing hole in his stomach where Hisayuki's poisoned knife had stuck in him.

"Takashi!" Maru screatched and ran to him and held him in her arms.
He moved his hands to his neck and then removed a necklace form around it and he slowly put it on Maru.
"I love you." He whisperd with his dieing breath. "I always will. Never forget that."
"I love you too."
Takashi smiled at hearing those words and he died with the half smile on his face.

The shadow's stepped out from their hiding places. It was Maru's jikie, her father and the guard's captain. They'd heard everything, the captain arrested Hisayuki. Her Father and jikei watched as Maru cried over her lover's body.

Maru looked down at the necklace, through tear filled eyes.
Her necklace, the jade one which caused her to meet Takashi.
Still crying, she started rocking back and forth holding Takashi.
She started to sing.
The nightingale of the capital.

toshi kurenu / yume wa kareno wo / tokoromade
[to-shi - ku-re-nu / yu-me - wa - ka-re-no - wo / to-ko-ro-ma-de]
another year is gone / my dream goes wandering / I slip and fall

Attached File  Blossom.jpg   1.43MB   2 downloads


*~End~*

Sorry for takeing up your time.
Please tell me what you think....
If you managed to read it all.
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#2
Nichol

Nichol

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I loved it ! It's a really good story and really well written... Great Job!
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#3
SycoTheNephilim

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that was an amazing story. you are such an amazing writer amy...
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#4
Azrael.

Azrael.

    Wake me up when the world is sane.

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Aww thanks Silent Child.


Thank you Chris!! *hugs*


Lol like 6 people on my msn know about this.
I've been writig none-stop for like, a day and a half to two days lol...
I'm really slow when it comes to writing stories....
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#5
Lirael

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<33333333333
L
O
V
E

I
T
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#6
Azrael.

Azrael.

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Awww!
Thanks Soph!!
*huge hugs*
^.^
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#7
Lirael

Lirael

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Hmmmh.
You have good writing skills.
Care to join my rp?
Lol
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#8
Azrael.

Azrael.

    Wake me up when the world is sane.

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Lol.

Erm...
I don't mind.
If you want lol...
Which one is it?
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#9
Lirael

Lirael

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The one with almost 150 pages.
It's epic,
=P.
Sorry to draw the focus away from your incredible story.
It's very very very very very very very good.
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#10
Azrael.

Azrael.

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Aww thanks Soph, lol.
I knew at someone, at some point was gonna stear the posts away from it....
I'll check out the rp.
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#11
SycoTheNephilim

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yay, join the rp. it is awesome and fun. o i am a girl in it.

and again. Amazing poem
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#12
Lirael

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Yays.
I <3 the rp.
Possibly a little more than I <3 your story.
Possibly.
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#13
Azrael.

Azrael.

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lol Chris...
But what about Shay, anyways??

And again thanks ^.^

lol, I think I'll take that as a compliment Soph.
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#14
Tree-ADÐ

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*repeats what i said on msn*

cause i cant think of anything else to say



(dr suess)
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#15
Azrael.

Azrael.

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Lol
*huge hugs*
You know, this is the first time you ever commented on my writing ^.^
lol
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#16
Lirael

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Oh, NOTE: This rp is more serious than most.
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#17
Azrael.

Azrael.

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lol ...
Uhh o.O
Ok then....
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#18
XnewtX

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omg i love it tongue.gif you are an amazing writer and your work is so awesome
(did you put this on booksie?)
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#19
Azrael.

Azrael.

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Yay! you finaly commented!
Aww thanks huni *hugs*.
[I'm just about to now.]
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#20
XnewtX

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what do you mean finally its on be on here for about an hour and 3 quatours lol
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