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My poem(Not that good)


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9 replies to this topic

#1
4emovek

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It seems my life is holding still now
Is this what i've been longing for?
Feels like my lungs are sore and dying
I feel my spirit fade away

My rain of memories is falling
On the bottom of my last regrets
The darkest snow is building prison
That's where i will spend my greates days

I can't forgive myself for trying
To make this life a perfect thing
Should i just find the new beginning
Or should my effort be erased

Collide the walls and start a fire
And feel my breath beneath your skin
Oh yes, we'll sink
I hope we'll sink

Am i still here, or am i not?
I won't regret my shameful past
It's been a while, since we've met
it won't be something i'll forget

Your breath is slowly getting softer
I think it's your adrenaline
Seems like your hatred's quickly fading
It's now time for us to swim

The sky is red now, can't you see it?
It's been a month, but don't forget
I am still begging for forgiveness
For all this time you screamed and bled

Our sighs will take us to our heavens
Erasing memories and past
The blinded god will be so jelaous
Because he didn't think we'd fly

Our journey's over, hands are shaking
It seems to be the sweetest thing
I would agree to live forever
To know that you will never bleed


i don't know if it's any good, but please let me know what you guys think smile.gif took me 2 hours to write it biggrin.gif
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#2
pseudo_psyche_arielle

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aww that's really good... deep as well
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#3
4emovek

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Thank you biggrin.gif Glad you liked it smile.gif
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#4
more bitter and cold

more bitter and cold

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wow. that was great. it made me cry.
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#5
emo_lil_lou_91

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i really liked that, its better than wat i can cum out with my poetry sucks ...x
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#6
4emovek

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QUOTE (emo_lil_lou_91 @ Feb 7 2008, 12:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i really liked that, its better than wat i can cum out with my poetry sucks ...x


Well... i was just sitting there trying to come up with the best i could... so i think if you did it you would do better wink.gif
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#7
Inactive

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hun, I can guarentee (sorry fr bad spelling) that both of ya will be or are very good at poetry. Most that i have read have been really good.
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#8
Egzon

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It was fucking amazing! You've got talent!
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#9
deadxinside

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yeah, that was really amazing...i love it
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#10
desirefull

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really good. makes me cry Cry.gif
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