10 replies to this topic

[Ectomy]

Have you ever woken up, very late? You don't know the time for sure
And you don't want to turn your head to look at the clock
Because you don't want the other person in the room to know you're up?
You keep your eyes shut tight but it's too late and you know it
Because he knows, he always knows.

So you give up trying to look asleep and turn to the red glow
Of the numbers on the clock. It tells you it's 1:47 AM
And you hope to God, Allah, FSM and Elvis you're alone.
But you're not. You can hear his breath above you

As he realizes you've awakened thanks to his gently calling your name,
He lies down, crushing your body with his own
And not noticing. He's not drunk but you pretend he is
Because it's easier when he is. More excusable.

You lie there staring at the bright crimson numbers
Letting the dark around them fade into nothing
And letting your body feel everything while your mind feels nothing
And you slowly die inside. You try to concentrate on the clock
But it won't stay still, you won't stay still for a moment
Just long enough to tell what time it is.

It flips and you count a steady rhythm in your head
So you can get to sixty and estimate when the clock will flip again
And you're almost right but the rocking of the man above you, of the
Man inside you, won't let you stay steady.

The rocking stops and you curl into a tiny ball under the covers
While you listen to the amplified sounds of him getting dressed
And of him breathing steadily like what he just did is okay.
You ignore, or try and fail to ignore the pain you feel throughout your body,
The bite marks on your shoulders and the bruises on your back
And then the deep ache that will be there for a few days at least
From the splitting pain you feel right now from lower places you
Don't ever want to think about again if you don't have to.

He leaves the room with the same words he used every time,
"Don't tell your mommy, okay?"
Since the first time when you were so young, maybe ten or eleven
And it wasn't sex yet, just touching that felt good and that you thought was okay.

Your baby brother is crying in the other room, which he does every time
This happens. Like the child knows, like the child knows he's next.

[x_MyBloodyVeins_x]

is this a poem of your life?
wow, i could really understand what you are going through (if this is a poem of your life)
and i felt what you feel, not exactly what you feel , but.. oh screw this,
you get the point??

[Ectomy]

is this a poem of your life?
wow, i could really understand what you are going through (if this is a poem of your life)
and i felt what you feel, not exactly what you feel , but.. oh screw this,
you get the point??

Yeah, I get what you're saying

It's... yeah. You're right about it reflecting my life. I liked your interesting way of wording that, you meant to say that emotionally you can understand how I feel, but physically you have never been raped? (that's a rough guess)

[FalseHopes]

im actually crying right now. that was amazing. and im so so sorry you had to go through that. and if you want someone to talk ever ill do my best to understand. i can relate to some of your things. like your other post about your brother. but please keep writing!

[Ectomy]

FalseHopes, you are officially one of my favorite people XD

[outcast of the outcasts]

you are good at describing it. im impressed

[Ectomy]

you are good at describing it. im impressed

Thank you ^^

[FalseHopes]

and you one of my favorite ppl and favorite poet!

[x_MyBloodyVeins_x]

Yeah, I get what you're saying smile.gif

It's... yeah. You're right about it reflecting my life. I liked your interesting way of wording that, you meant to say that emotionally you can understand how I feel, but physically you have never been raped? (that's a rough guess)

: D i never been raped, i got almost raped by my.. .. bro.. but he was on drugs.. so
i put that in my past

[BecauseIFreakingCan]

im crying so hard right now my eyes a red (rearly happens)
god, i hate the tough that other people go through so much shit in life, and compared to them i get nothing, it makes me fell terrible, then i thing you must only fell 100x worse.
sorry, if you need someone to talk to about anything at all, im here, and regullarly online.

[Ectomy]

echick: aww don't cry!! Now I'm guilty ):