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Cutting And Self Harm (Read Through Topic Before Posting)
Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:27 PM
There's a hell of a lot more to it than that.
Posted 26 April 2012 - 08:39 AM
Posted 26 April 2012 - 06:57 PM
my younger days weren't always happy... sexually abused when i was little not once but it went on for a number of years when something like this goes on for so long it can really warp a child's mind to the point were its like normal and he does something like this to someone when hes older makes me feel fucking sick, i could never tell my parents, years have went by gotten harder and harder to the point i don't think i will ever tell them.
didn't grow up rich not by any means the farthest back i can remember we didn't even live in a building at the time it was a tent at a camp ground in middle of nowhere times were a slice of bread was the single most exiting thing to happen to me.
my teen years were horrid we were always moving iv been in 10 different schools
i have never fit in anywhere i was and still am real shy was always being made fun of and picked on as a kid which made me angry and lash out at others the only ones who would befriend me were the real bad kids but that's only because they could use me and i let them my insecurities and longing to fit in got in the way this lead to a life of crime theft,vandalism,fighting,arson. heavy drinking, drug abuse, suicide attempts. i tend to distance my self from others because I am afraid of what they will think of me if they find out about my past i cant stand it. it tears away at me from the inside out like I am being eaten alive, you may see me smile or laugh but its to cover up the pain, sadness and hate i have for my self.
I may have straitened up quite a bit no more crime drinking problems have stopped how ever i replaced drugs and alcohol with cutting.
I will still go thew modes of severe depression, thoughts of suicide so much so i completely breakdown I am in tears crying my eyes out praying for death. I feel so terrible because of the bad things that were done to me and the bad things I used to do. I feel like I don't deserve a women's love I don't deserve friends or the right to prosper in life, those kinds of things are only for good happy people, the only thing I am deserving of is death. cutting can help dull the pain consider it like a crutch as why some choose drinking to escape reality in short its the easy way out but the hardest thing to stop.
saying stuff like if you want to stop, then you will. i s asinine and those who think that should be ashamed.
nor in all cases were will power be enough to make you stop completely. you may stop for a wile but but you may also start right up again down the road. is a long agonizing process that some can never avoid quitting completely.
Posted 09 June 2012 - 02:44 AM
Posted 10 June 2012 - 12:19 AM
I don't cut right now for about half year or so, but still getting strong urges to start once again.
But now I see my situation more clearly. The things that drove me to cutting was anger and dissociation(don't know how to spell it correctly)..
Also it was because I had several dispersonalization events. I had multiply disorder and one of them were more dominant then another.
And that who wasn't dominant tryed to get out and the only way it was possible is by givin body pain to get emotions.
That's why I was cutting, to get myself out..
Now my other me is just unmanageble anger.
Of course I'm not proud at all, because now I'm being left with these scars. Fortunately nobody saw them even tough I'm walking with short sleaves...
Posted 02 July 2012 - 11:36 AM
Posted 02 July 2012 - 11:55 AM
Hey, i just joined this website today, i'm kind of stuck and don't know were to turn...
Wondered if any one on here could give me help? :/
Firstly my worlds come crashing down!
I found out my Nana has breast cancer, My dad has liver failure, and my mum doesn't want me no more...
Mum threw me out the other night, and doesnt want me back home, i'm staying at a different friends each night. :/
Social services are putting me in care cause of family life. My boyfriend will leave me if i self harm one more time.
People keep calling me 'EMO'?
School life's harder, because i go to a more 'CHAV' school then anything, and because i look like an emo, and act like an emo, i get singled out, they call me DIFFERENT? ... what am i? ... unormal!? Today someone threatened to stab me, i don't have no friends there because of being different.
I always feel like taking the easy way out and just self harming... if my grandad was here today he'd hold my hand and tell me it's okay, i've got no one now! My arms everyday just become more and more cut, infact at this minute it's so bad, i can't even see my skin colour, all scars, blood, and slits.
Sometime's it's hard to explain my emotions and what i'm going through, every one always seem to take it as a joke, or think i'm just having a laugh. I try to be the real me, but it don't work. SO i have to be fake to make everyone happy!
I'm not afraid of who i am, but then, i'm scared of who i'm trying to be....
P.S i hope someone understands what i'm going through on here, and someone can help, you don't realise how much it'll help me. I just don't know how to get through this alone.
You can't do it alone, you need friends new ones, old ones, any one you can really talk to who won't judge you. I may not know what its like to have my nana sick or my papa to have cancer, or your mom doing that. But my parents aren't happy they always fight or so it would seem. And I've always been sort of an outcast, people laugh and make fun of me, call me emo, and it's just because of my appearance, your not different your unique and there jealous and they don't understand so they pick on you to make them feel better, just ignore the jerks. My boyfriend said the same thing to me, he's so dissapointed in me when he saw my wrist, it scares me I don't want to lose him but i can't stop it so i hide it more. To make everyone happy I fake smiles, grins, laughs, happyness, everything about me is a show I put on for the world, so that they can remain in there own little dislussion of the world that im in. I'm alone, try to explain your feelings and emotions to yourself, start a journal if you havent yet, everyone jokes, and laughs, thinking it's all well, well it's not and someone out there knows that, just find them, hey it could even be me, please just be yourself, and stop faking your life through for the sake of everyone else, your killing your origanality, your soul, depressing you even more. -hug-
Posted 03 July 2012 - 08:28 PM
Posted 29 July 2012 - 03:13 AM
Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:29 AM
Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:34 AM
Posted 30 July 2012 - 12:52 PM
Posted 30 July 2012 - 01:16 PM
Posted 01 August 2012 - 08:31 PM
Posted 03 August 2012 - 08:53 PM
Posted 03 August 2012 - 09:57 PM
And much to the disappointment of my friends there is really nothing that can be done.. I am to far gone.. I mean i have like a few friends who are in the same place and we are basically support for each other but sometimes it just isnt enough to stop the thoughts.
I have depression and anxiety and i have isolation. None of my depression or anxiety is treated by medication for the simple fact that my family doesn't know.
I hide allot from people and im not planning on letting it out anytime soon. I'm sick of being back stabbed and lied to.
Posted 05 August 2012 - 06:53 PM
Posted 26 September 2012 - 07:48 PM
Posted 28 September 2012 - 01:40 PM
I had an ex-girlfriend who usto cut though, she told me she did it because she liked the pain and adrenaline she'd get from it, it would help her block out any other emotion she had.
Although I can kind of see the logic in that, their are better ways to block out emotions than self harm.
Posted 28 September 2012 - 05:00 PM
I did to put myself in pain, I felt like I deserve it, plus it blocked out the mental pain I was feeling.
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