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[poem] My Poem When I Cut Myself

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#61
chewy

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QUOTE (Hyena. @ Nov 7 2010, 05:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Chill it guys. This isn't Small Talk, you've got the Hangout for your banter. I believe Brett has already pushed you out, we don't expect to tell you a third time.

And leave the newbie alone, Phrike, at least she's on topic.
Even if she IS wrong. Or trolling.


how come you haven't written a poem about cutting yourself?
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#62
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ON TOPIC PLEASE
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#63
BriannaBarbie(:

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I was the same way the middle of my 7th grade year, but then i just kinda got over it. Now i'm happy all the time and i love it((: but not quite sure why.

About your poem it may not flow but it means a few things because its yours and you wrote it.
try writting in a blog, or another poem, or just a random napkin how you feel, once you write the word of how your feeling it kinda gets better and goes away. Maybe do something befor jumping right to the razor try putting it where you cant see it, and think about it first.
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#64
.shadow.

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Poem aside, you do have a bit of growing up to do, but who doesn't at 14? I used to cut, I thought it helped me get through life, but in reality it was only hindering me from getting stronger and being able to deal with stress on my own without cutting. You're only 14, the problems you face at your age (or any age for that matter) don't call for cutting, just learning how to deal with them as an adult. Losing a boyfriend or whatever else is wrong isn't the end of the world, even though it hurts, and cutting yourself might distract you from the pain temporarily, you are actually only masking it, plus making an even bigger problem for yourself in the future. I hope you will think about this & stop cutting before it gets to the point it did with me, I finally did stop, almost a year ago & I'm proud that I did. I'm not ashamed that I cut, I know how I felt at the time, even though I was wrong, and I don't get mad at myself for what I did, even though I wish that I hadn't. Anyway, if you need to talk to somebody feel free to shoot a PM to me, I'll listen to whatever you're going through, but only as long as you try not to be dramatic about it & list every little thing in your life that isn't perfect.

Now On topic, your poem isn't so bad, but I generally don't like poems about cutting because it worries me that it will make it seem popular or cool to do it, I did mention cutting in my last poem, I was reluctant to at first because I didnt want to encourage it, but I wanted people who have felt/done the same to be able to connect with it, and hopefully stop cutting just as I did.

Fucking. Long. Post..... It should count as 2 =P I will shut up now.
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#65
TiffaanyAndySixxBaby

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QUOTE (XXDeadAngelXX @ Nov 6 2010, 01:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Kooool
i like it
all the pain sadness and sorrow does go away when you cut yourself

thanx hunnii biggrin.gif
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#66
TiffaanyAndySixxBaby

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QUOTE (.shadow. @ Nov 8 2010, 10:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Poem aside, you do have a bit of growing up to do, but who doesn't at 14? I used to cut, I thought it helped me get through life, but in reality it was only hindering me from getting stronger and being able to deal with stress on my own without cutting. You're only 14, the problems you face at your age (or any age for that matter) don't call for cutting, just learning how to deal with them as an adult. Losing a boyfriend or whatever else is wrong isn't the end of the world, even though it hurts, and cutting yourself might distract you from the pain temporarily, you are actually only masking it, plus making an even bigger problem for yourself in the future. I hope you will think about this & stop cutting before it gets to the point it did with me, I finally did stop, almost a year ago & I'm proud that I did. I'm not ashamed that I cut, I know how I felt at the time, even though I was wrong, and I don't get mad at myself for what I did, even though I wish that I hadn't. Anyway, if you need to talk to somebody feel free to shoot a PM to me, I'll listen to whatever you're going through, but only as long as you try not to be dramatic about it & list every little thing in your life that isn't perfect.

Now On topic, your poem isn't so bad, but I generally don't like poems about cutting because it worries me that it will make it seem popular or cool to do it, I did mention cutting in my last poem, I was reluctant to at first because I didnt want to encourage it, but I wanted people who have felt/done the same to be able to connect with it, and hopefully stop cutting just as I did.

Fucking. Long. Post..... It should count as 2 =P I will shut up now.

Well thanx hunn its good to find someone to talk to i worry my parents alot


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#67
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The poem lacks originality, puncuation, and descriptive language.
A 3rd grader could have wrote this.

What you need to do is add description through the use of adjectives, metaphors and similies. And I think someone else already suggested this but maybe you can even talk about what lead you to cut and do a bit of foreshadowing. Another thing that would've made the poem more interesting would be to talk about the adrenaline rush you get from cutting.

There is a tiny bit of potential, you just have to add detail and puncuation.



&What these two said:

QUOTE (The Tourist @ Oct 17 2010, 10:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP, just stop. For your sake and our sake, please, just stop.


QUOTE (Kelseyopolis. @ Oct 18 2010, 05:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think you may need to grow up.

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#68
dark love

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QUOTE (Lonely_BabyEmo @ Oct 16 2010, 05:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Its Raining Blood
Feeling so lost i cant think what to do
I see a razor sitting next to me
Without thinking i slide it across my wrist

It drips with scarlet blood
It looks like its raining blood
it goes everywhere

Down my arm, on the floor
I feel sad maybe depressed
But now that ive shed my blood
Its like everything i'd ever felt drained away.


plz tell me what you think !!!!!

its actually good
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#69
TiffaanyAndySixxBaby

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QUOTE (dark love @ Nov 8 2010, 03:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
its actually good

thanx you smile.gif
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#70
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...Why is this still popular? It's been at least two weeks, really, I think the basic message here is:

"Grow up"
"Too cliche"
*idle chitchat*
and
"Grow up"
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#71
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It seems like that. Really isn't my thing. But I think you can improve.
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