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Something's Missing


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49 replies to this topic

#1
Lirael

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I feel like writing

But I have nothing to say

Something?s wrong

My brain is away



I can?t seem

To figure it out

Making me frown

Making me pout



(I?ve already eaten

Everything in the house

Oh, except for

That one little mouse)



My life is empty

I?m bored everyday

There?s nothing to do

With no one to play



I?m stuck by myself

There?s no one home

No one to talk to

I?m completely alone



My friends aren?t at home

They?re probably out

At the mall with each other

Hanging out, no doubt



All I can do

Is sit and sigh

As they talk about it

And I try not to cry



I try and try

But my thoughts won?t come

My brain is blank

I think it?s numb



I feel like crying

But I hold it in

I?m not about to

Let my impulses win



I show no feeling

If I even have any

What happened to me?

I used to have many



Something?s missing

I can feel the hole

The empty pit

As black as coal



I think I know

How I got that hole

But what did I get

In exchange for my soul?



I don?t think I?m human

That was taken from me

I need it back

Immediately



I?m not fit to live

But not fit to die

But where does that leave me?

Let?s not forget why.



I did something bad

I just don?t know what, or to who

I can?t remember

Or maybe I don?t want to



My life has no meaning

There?s no light at the end

Everything?s dark

My wounds never mend



Maybe I?m better off

To be like this

Devoid of feeling

Never missed



You barely notice me

When I walk through the halls

I?m like a ghost

Surrounded by walls



Life?s not worth living

I?d die if I could

I?ve never tried

I think I should



I think of the pain

That I?m leaving behind

And for once, I can see

My life completely aligned



I grab a knife

Push it into me

At last, I?m happy

I?m finally free.


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#2
emo_lil_lou_91

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omd's this poem is deep and makes me think i like this poem i'll read it to my friend i'm sure she'll like it toooooo xx
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#3
tenthringofhell

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wow that is very deep
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#4
Inactive

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wooaaa.....this is soooo...strong...simple words, not the most complex i've heard...but its the blunt, straight delivery that makes this so...deep and powerful....I like it alot
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#5
Ben Toast

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I'm new here. That poem was really, really, really good...
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#6
Lirael

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Wow thanks everyone
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#7
LiveToRegret

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I?m stuck by myself, There?s no one home, No one to talk to, I?m completely alone.
My friends aren?t at home, They?re probably out, At the mall with each other, Hanging out, no doubt.
I try and try, But my thoughts won?t come, My brain is blank, I think it?s numb.
I feel like crying, But I hold it in, I?m not about to, Let my impulses win.

My life has no meaning, There?s no light at the end, Everything?s dark, My wounds never mend.
Maybe I?m better off, To be like this, Devoid of feeling, Never missed.

You barely notice me, When I walk through the halls, I?m like a ghost, Surrounded by walls.

It might be over half of the poem, but I took out the stanzas that I really did like. Curtesy to you man. I then took the best parts, for me, from them and highlighted it in bold. For some reason, I really really like this line;
I feel like crying, But I hold it in, I?m not about to, Let my impulses win.
It's deep. I applaud you on this, I really do. I don't know why I like it so much. It's just great!
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#8
yopi40

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amazing very powerful i also like the line I feel like crying, But I hold it in, I?m not about to, Let my impulses win.
i feel like that a lot. very good poem
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#9
XnewtX

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that is well deep and
when i read that i felt the pain
and emptyness that was very true
and meanful to me
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#10
stars and broken gutairs

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#11
XxAlonexX

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my eyes are stinging with tears.
that was deep
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#12
Lirael

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QUOTE (LiveToRegret @ Mar 5 2008, 09:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm stuck by myself, There's no one home, No one to talk to, I'm completely alone.
My friends aren't at home, They're probably out, At the mall with each other, Hanging out, no doubt.
I try and try, But my thoughts won't come, My brain is blank, I think it's numb.
I feel like crying, But I hold it in, I'm not about to, Let my impulses win.

My life has no meaning, There's no light at the end, Everything's dark, My wounds never mend.
Maybe I'm better off, To be like this, Devoid of feeling, Never missed.

You barely notice me, When I walk through the halls, I'm like a ghost, Surrounded by walls.

It might be over half of the poem, but I took out the stanzas that I really did like. Curtesy to you man. I then took the best parts, for me, from them and highlighted it in bold. For some reason, I really really like this line;
I feel like crying, But I hold it in, I'm not about to, Let my impulses win.
It's deep. I applaud you on this, I really do. I don't know why I like it so much. It's just great!


Wow thanks. It must have taken some time to write this whole thing.
Thanks for making the effort!
And thank you to the rest of you who commented
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#13
LiveToRegret

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QUOTE (Different @ Mar 7 2008, 06:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow thanks. It must have taken some time to write this whole thing.
Thanks for making the effort!
And thank you to the rest of you who commented

Yeah, not too long though. And it was worth it. I might too far as to say, it might be just the best poem I have ever read.
Just something about it that I really did like. The effort was my priviledge. smile.gif xx
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#14
Lirael

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QUOTE (LiveToRegret @ Mar 8 2008, 01:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, not too long though. And it was worth it. I might too far as to say, it might be just the best poem I have ever read.
Just something about it that I really did like. The effort was my priviledge. smile.gif xx


Wow the best? Seriously? Thank you so much!
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#15
LiveToRegret

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I seriously really did like it!
I mean compared in contrast to over poems some differ alot so really I couldn't tell.
But in one respect, yes the best poem I've ever read. smile.gif

I loved it.
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#16
Lirael

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QUOTE (LiveToRegret @ Mar 8 2008, 10:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I seriously really did like it!
I mean compared in contrast to over poems some differ alot so really I couldn't tell.
But in one respect, yes the best poem I've ever read. smile.gif

I loved it.



I did work pretty hard on this one
It's probably my favorite.
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#17
LiveToRegret

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So it should be.
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#18
Lirael

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LTR, you ever write poetry?
Ever tried?
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#19
LiveToRegret

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I write alot of poetry. smile.gif
The ones I posted on here though are pretty crap. I would never post the ones I think to be good on here, they're too, personal. happy.gif
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#20
Lirael

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QUOTE (LiveToRegret @ Mar 9 2008, 03:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I write alot of poetry. smile.gif
The ones I posted on here though are pretty crap. I would never post the ones I think to be good on here, they're too, personal. happy.gif



Personal in what way?
Because you could always make another account and post them under that name.
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