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Whores & Whores & Whores


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#1
Algernon

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It has been known for a long time that cells of homosexual terrorists have furtively invaded and taken over highway-side parking lots. No one even raises their eyebrows anymore when, passing one of those little parks of gay iniquity and shamefaced pleasure, they spot a middle-aged father of three with his hands on the cold guardrail, being either callously pounded in the ass or being on the receiving end of a relaxed, soothing hand-job – 'a sneeze' as they call it, a friend of mine who has penetrated that inner circle has confided in me.

Tonight I drove home when I urgently needed to take a piss. I drove onto a parking lot, saw a scattered congregation of colon-stirrers and similar ungodly riffraff and decided to try the next parking lot instead. That is not to say that I don't enjoy a quick sneeze by a mouth-breathing, pasty stranger on the highway side, mind you. The reason I didn't stop is because I saw my internship supervisor getting his knob tongue-cleaned by my landlord. It would have made our next encounter a tad awkward.

On to the next parking lot I went, which turned out to be a resting place for truckers. Much to my surprise, there were quite a few not-so-rosy-cheeked prostitutes wandering about. Cars with Romanian and Polish number plates with dour-looking pimps behind the wheel were keeping a close watch on the proceedings.

I assume my German number plate gave them the idea that I was one of those lecherous, disgusting, misogynistic pieces of shit who wanted a quick fuck. Of course all of that is true, but this time I merely wanted to take a piss. There being enough empty space around, I found it a little ridiculous to pay money to do it in one of their mouths. Picking asparagus at the farm between the werewolves clearly doesn't earn enough money to survive on, so this pale skeleton of a whore asked me in a thick accent, 'Hast du Lust?' and proceeded to offer me very generously to suck me off without a condom for the low bargain price of €15.

It was all I could do to politely decline and, instead of get back in my car, walk over to an empty spot near the bushes and relieve myself. While Leviathan was roaring into the darkness, another seed-satiated servant got next to me and, without saying a word, tried to grab my nether regions. Fortunately I was on edge and ready to dart at any moment and moved aside. I still believe that if her gnarly hand would have touched me, my dick would have screamed and fallen off that very instant. I decided I'd be better off pissing my pants than try to continue here, so I hastened back to my car, calmed myself and Leviathan down by slamming the car door against my dick a couple of times and sped off.

I suppose I better tack a question onto this pompous little story: has anyone here been approached by a whore? Or been mistaken for a whore?

As for that second question: I was sitting at the bar in this lounge/club one night. There wasn't anyone else with me. A middle-aged woman sat down next to me. She started talking to me and bought me a drink. Knowing what kind of place I was in, I immediately thought she was looking for someone young to spend the night with. I had resolved to buy her drink back, chat for her a little and then fuck off. Before I could, she asked me – and I quote (but obviously translated): 'My friend Trudie is right over there,' and she pointed to a woman who was more weathered than her, 'How much do you want for both of us at the same time?'

I got the fuck out of there.

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#2
LionJess

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oh god, LOL


QUOTE (Algernon @ Mar 10 2011, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I suppose I better tack a question onto this pompous little story: has anyone here been approached by a whore? Or been mistaken for a whore?



Eurgh. God.

I was on a rickshaw in a tiny little town in China in the middle of December (I think it might actually have been Christmas Day). It was freezing. I was all wrapped up in about 10 layers. We had a translator with us because NOONE in China speaks English, you'd be lucky to get a few in Beijing, never mind some tiny back-arse middle of nowhere town.

This old fuck comes up to me and starts speaking a load of Chinese and smiling nicely. I had obviously no idea what he was saying, so I just didn't reply. Our translator comes fucking SPRINTING over and says a load of shit to him. He then turned around to me and said that the old guy had been asking how much I was and he REALLY wanted some young European .... I'll let you finish the rest of that sentence. I still want to know how the fuck I looked remotely like a prostitute. I was COVERED head to toe, and my parents were right beside me.



QUOTE
As for that second question: I was sitting at the bar in this lounge/club one night. There wasn't anyone else with me. A middle-aged woman sat down next to me. She started talking to me and bought me a drink. Knowing what kind of place I was in, I immediately thought she was looking for someone young to spend the night with. I had resolved to buy her drink back, chat for her a little and then fuck off. Before I could, she asked me – and I quote (but obviously translated): 'My friend Trudie is right over there,' and she pointed to a woman who was more weathered than her, 'How much do you want for both of us at the same time?'

I got the fuck out of there.


Still have tears rolling down my face every time I remember this story.
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#3
Dr. Slade

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i got a ride with my best friend to watertown, with his homosexual uncle, who is hiv positive. he pulls in to a gay bar and we hop out, where were approached by a hispanic gentleman and a hagish woman obviously a user of meth.

i digress

i politely decline the gentleman, as im a heterosexual. only to be offered his meth addicted female accomplice,

so i again reenforce that im heterosexual, and we beat a hasty retreat.
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#4
The Wardrobe

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QUOTE (Algernon @ Mar 11 2011, 09:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been known for a long time that cells of homosexual terrorists have furtively invaded and taken over highway-side parking lots. No one even raises their eyebrows anymore when, passing one of those little parks of gay iniquity and shamefaced pleasure, they spot a middle-aged father of three with his hands on the cold guardrail, being either callously pounded in the ass or being on the receiving end of a relaxed, soothing hand-job – 'a sneeze' as they call it, a friend of mine who has penetrated that inner circle has confided in me.

Tonight I drove home when I urgently needed to take a piss. I drove onto a parking lot, saw a scattered congregation of colon-stirrers and similar ungodly riffraff and decided to try the next parking lot instead. That is not to say that I don't enjoy a quick sneeze by a mouth-breathing, pasty stranger on the highway side, mind you. The reason I didn't stop is because I saw my internship supervisor getting his knob tongue-cleaned by my landlord. It would have made our next encounter a tad awkward.

On to the next parking lot I went, which turned out to be a resting place for truckers. Much to my surprise, there were quite a few not-so-rosy-cheeked prostitutes wandering about. Cars with Romanian and Polish number plates with dour-looking pimps behind the wheel were keeping a close watch on the proceedings.

I assume my German number plate gave them the idea that I was one of those lecherous, disgusting, misogynistic pieces of shit who wanted a quick fuck. Of course all of that is true, but this time I merely wanted to take a piss. There being enough empty space around, I found it a little ridiculous to pay money to do it in one of their mouths. Picking asparagus at the farm between the werewolves clearly doesn't earn enough money to survive on, so this pale skeleton of a whore asked me in a thick accent, 'Hast du Lust?' and proceeded to offer me very generously to suck me off without a condom for the low bargain price of €15.

It was all I could do to politely decline and, instead of get back in my car, walk over to an empty spot near the bushes and relieve myself. While Leviathan was roaring into the darkness, another seed-satiated servant got next to me and, without saying a word, tried to grab my nether regions. Fortunately I was on edge and ready to dart at any moment and moved aside. I still believe that if her gnarly hand would have touched me, my dick would have screamed and fallen off that very instant. I decided I'd be better off pissing my pants than try to continue here, so I hastened back to my car, calmed myself and Leviathan down by slamming the car door against my dick a couple of times and sped off.

I suppose I better tack a question onto this pompous little story: has anyone here been approached by a whore? Or been mistaken for a whore?

As for that second question: I was sitting at the bar in this lounge/club one night. There wasn't anyone else with me. A middle-aged woman sat down next to me. She started talking to me and bought me a drink. Knowing what kind of place I was in, I immediately thought she was looking for someone young to spend the night with. I had resolved to buy her drink back, chat for her a little and then fuck off. Before I could, she asked me – and I quote (but obviously translated): 'My friend Trudie is right over there,' and she pointed to a woman who was more weathered than her, 'How much do you want for both of us at the same time?'

I got the fuck out of there.


That's hilarious. Even Australian car parks aren't that bad. I think we're more likely to do it on the side of a road or in a bush. Jesus christ. This at least shows you're a gentlemen though.


No I've never been mistaken for a whore . Being a tomboy has it's benefits. No mini skirts, no stilletos and little to no make up works for me. Though I must admit alot of the girls my age are pretty slutty, and when you look at the younger kids they're getting into the sex trend as well. It's a disaster in my opinion. If you had to draw a line where the decency stops and the slutiness starts. The age would have to be 15 and below. I wouldn't be surprised if by the year 2100 all we wore was a g-string and little titty stars for girls and just plain underwear for guys.
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#5
1237

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A friend and I used to hang out at "The Corner" which was in fact a street corner. It was common to stay out there well into the early hours of the morning. Kind of asking for it I suppose. laugh.gif One time a truck pulled up full of partying college students. They were all either drunk or stoned. A few of the girls kept asking if we were selling our bodies and offered us shots of liquor. They kept coming back too lol. I doubt they were serious but it's as close to a story as I have.
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#6
Rellik San

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I'm fairly sure I look like a male prostitute as people keep offering me the chance too partake in 3somes... or fuck their missus whilst they watch.


Suffice to say I'm sick of that shit.
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#7
The Wardrobe

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I wouldn't be surprised if someone did a relik prostitute picture.
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#8
randidawn

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After leaving a trashy gay bar on the wrong side of town me and my group made the choice to go to the rich side of town and play in Fountain Square. Mind you we all had on go-go boots and ripped stockings I was still a little shocked when two very well dressed men asked if we "needed a ride somewhere". Though good-looking both were a bit too old for my taste. However, just as I was about to tell them we were fine and had our own ride one of the girls said "So what's your price?" After an exchanged glance they let her know they both needed company and were both happy to pay $200 each. With a quick smile the rest of us knew that her night was planned, even if we tried to tell her no.

Thankfully the men were good to her, as she was to them, and even payed a little extra and got her a cab back to the house. So, yeah.......all's well that ends well I guess, and to each their own.
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#9
Nereus

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Once in Hempstead, NY, pretty close to my University.

Older woman probably in her 40's offered $50 for a blowjob, $100 for intercourse.

Suffice to say I passed on it. >_>


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#10
THE MAN

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Can't say I have ever been mistaken for a lady/gentleman of the night nor been solicited by one. It's not really my thing to pay for sexy time so I doubt I will ever in future.
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#11
Ben Toast

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I've been approached twice, as far as I remember. Maybe more, but I'm praying it was only twice.

There was this girl named... well I don't remember her name. Probably a good thing, though; that disgustingly skinny cum-sponge of a bitc.... Tracy! that was her name. Tracy Offord. Bleugh, it makes me shiver just to think the name. Even reading it sends a chill up my spine.

Anyway, at my college, I would sit down in the cafeteria during the hours I'd spend outside of class, because it was a quiet place to study, and I could eat food while doing coursework. I'd pick a nice quiet booth all the way around the back of the dining area, set back in the corner, all to myself. I'd be sitting there, huddled over my laptop, headphones on, blaring music, happily lost in my own little bubble of solitude when, out of nowhere, this scrawny little whore wiggles her way around the entire corner booth just to sit down next to me and shoves her cold, clammy fingers down my pants and violate my genitals. You know that feeling when you'd rather cut your dick off than live with that after-feeling? You know, the feeling when you swear it's going to just shrivel up and fall off? Yeah, that's the very feeling I had, just before I grabbed her arm and ripped her hand out of my pants, shoved her away, and said, "I'm TAKEN, bitch. Get your scrawny ass away from me." Then, she would follow me around the hallways, trying to grab my ass while I walked and putting her arm around me like I was her boyfriend or something. I swear, if she had ever grabbed my junk while I was walking, I would have ripped her arm right off. It probably wouldn't have taken too much anyway. She was so skinny I could have broke her in half over my leg like a giant toothpick.

The second time was this girl I worked with, who wanted me take her out back after work every other night to stuff my cock deep within that moist pit that existed between her legs. Nothing horribly unbearable, though. She at least understood the concept of "no means no," and never actually tried anything. Plus, she was only 16. Granted, I could have a lot of fun with her, as she was a virgin (yeah, key word here is WAS), and she was almost unbearably tempting. However, the whole possibility of going to jail turned out to be a real turn-off for me, so I kept saying no, and fortunately, she respected that.

So, yeah.. That's about it for me.




EDIT: Okay, so they weren't actually prostitutes.. just cock-hungry sluts, I guess... and I guess the second one wasn't even a slut.. just cock-hungry...
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#12
Sylar

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I was approached my a 13-14 year old whore. Not kidding
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#13
Pokémaniac Christian

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In high school, 87% of the women will suck your dick for some pot. Fucking America. =,( Save me.
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#14
Ben Toast

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QUOTE (Pokémaniac Christian @ Mar 10 2011, 07:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In high school, 87% of the women will suck your dick for some pot. Fucking America. =,( Save me.


At my old high school, it was a fad to be pregnant.
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#15
Sylar

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QUOTE (Ben Toast @ Mar 10 2011, 07:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At my old high school, it was a fad to be pregnant.

In my school, it's a fad to be bisexual, pregnant, and slutty.
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#16
Ben Toast

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QUOTE (Chad's a Sexy Beast @ Mar 10 2011, 07:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
In my school, it's a fad to be bisexual, pregnant, and slutty.



Pretty disgusting, isn't it?
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#17
Sylar

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QUOTE (Ben Toast @ Mar 10 2011, 07:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Pretty disgusting, isn't it?


Yes, it is. It's really hard to find a woman worth talking to in these times.
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#18
no.Original.thought

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You people are awfully stuck up. You're offered MONEY for SEX and you turn it down? I'd take sex for no money. Just who do you think you all are?

By the way, I think half of these stories are shit.
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#19
Ben Toast

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QUOTE (no.Original.thought @ Mar 10 2011, 07:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You people are awfully stuck up. You're offered MONEY for SEX and you turn it down? I'd take sex for no money. Just who do you think you all are?

By the way, I think half of these stories are shit.


Actually, my story is 100% legit. (not joking)
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#20
no.Original.thought

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QUOTE (Ben Toast @ Mar 10 2011, 08:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Actually, my story is 100% legit. (not joking)

That's funny, I read the first paragraph of your story and wrote it off as shit before getting on to the rest of it. Now that I have read the rest of it, I'm convinced that you've sewed bits and pieces of other people's stories into your own. (not joking)
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