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How Selfish Are You In Bed?

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22 replies to this topic

#1
Steve 

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I don't think I've created a topic here before and I haven't seen one similar to this so here goes. How selfish do you think you are during sex?Obviously it's not as easy as just rating yourself, as sex with different people and your emotions towards them can sway the factor too, so I'm talking about in general here. It would be good to elaborate as well how you think you act in bed.

A good balance of selflessness and selfishness in sex is essential for the best experience, in my experience. If you're too selfish, they won't enjoy it and it would feel disappointing to be unable to satisfy your partner (obviously you have to give half a fuck about what they are experiencing to care about that). If you're too selfless you won't enjoy it yourself, maybe even lose your erection worrying too much about how they are feeling or just becoming unable to relax and enjoy it.

If I had to use a scale of 1-10, 1 being totally selfless and 10 being entirely selfish, personally It's around a 3 for me if I care about the girl I'm having sex with, I'm fairly selfless but I don't totally think about the other person without thinking of myself as well. If I finish too early I like to finish them off as well until they orgasm too, it does give me more satisfaction as well doing this. I'd say with one of my exes though it was a 6/10 because she didn't put much effort in herself, she was lazy in other words and selfish ultimately, so it does depend on who it's with.
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#2
DireWolf

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Im not selfish at all, When i finish on her face im happy to hand her the toilet paper
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#3
Panicatk

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As long as i can fall asleep fast i really dont care what others do.
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#4
DarkParadise

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Im not selfish at all, When i finish on her face im happy to hand her the toilet paper


U are such a pig >.> a disgusting pig -smacks-

Also I'm a 5 ... I like to you know share the love but I gotta get a little something too right can't be me doing all the work.

I say 5-7 depending on with who ;)
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#5
Occasional_Desire

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I wouldn't want to rate myself, but I like to think I'm balanced either side. There are only certain occasions where I want to skip all of the beginning and go straight to sex, even the kissing for a long period of time. Sometimes it bores me, and I have no idea why. Does that make me selfish if my partner doesn't want to rush straight into it? I don't think so. If our sex wasn't the least bit good, then, maybe.
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#6
Sarcastic_Guy

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My rule of thumb, ladies first. I know I'm going to get to finish no matter what, so why not just make sure that she gets hers? besides, watching my wife get off helps me get off too, so it's not entirely just for her.
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#7
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My rule of thumb, ladies first. I know I'm going to get to finish no matter what, so why not just make sure that she gets hers?

3
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#8
Steve 

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I wouldn't want to rate myself, but I like to think I'm balanced either side. There are only certain occasions where I want to skip all of the beginning and go straight to sex, even the kissing for a long period of time. Sometimes it bores me, and I have no idea why. Does that make me selfish if my parter doesn't want to rush straight into it? I don't think so. If our sex wasn't the least bit good, then, maybe.


It's okay I didn't ask for a rating it's just sometimes how I judge what I do. Sometimes kissing bores me too, if I am kissing someone too much it just gets monotonous and I'm all about variety, which is why the same position constantly is a turn off etc. I don't think it makes you selfish if you want to rush into things, I mean it's sex after all. A good balance is the best, in my opinion anyway.

My rule of thumb, ladies first. I know I'm going to get to finish no matter what, so why not just make sure that she gets hers? besides, watching my wife get off helps me get off too, so it's not entirely just for her.


That's true. Guys finish almost every time they have sex, the woman doesn't get that guarantee so it's only right to give her what she wants, that is if you care about her enough to want that. I get off to her climaxing too so it's even for me in a way, more so for her though.
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#9
Crispin

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I find it amusing that you consider concerning yourself over your own pleasure to be selfish, when I personally think that if I don't let anyone touch me, that counts as being selfish. :L

I don't like to be touched, but I like to touch.
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#10
Crispin

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What I think others meant (well, it's at least what I meant) is being so absolutely focused on your own pleasure is selfish.


Yes, I understood that point. Allowing someone to touch you, that's a pleasure for the person who's doing the touching, in my opinion anyway. However when withholding yourself, to me, that's being selfish.

I guess what I'm saying is that it all really comes down to what your definition of pleasure is.
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#11
Steve 

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I find it amusing that you consider concerning yourself over your own pleasure to be selfish, when I personally think that if I don't let anyone touch me, that counts as being selfish. :L

I don't like to be touched, but I like to touch.


What I think others meant (well, it's at least what I meant) is being so absolutely focused on your own pleasure is selfish.


Yeah, that was my intention when I wrote this.
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#12
paul edwards

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if i have sex with most people if there femele or male i still treat them more like a man than me and im usually the reciever. but if i have sex with an emo boy i scream things like pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease let me do this to you and pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease do this to me. emo boys are usually kind hearted so when i say please it reaches there heart and they say ok and do it
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#13
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I don't like to be touched, but I like to touch.

My girl used to do this crap, and man, I wanted to punch her in the face.
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#14
Fizz

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Im so selfish, she don't even get in bed. :D
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#15
Chaotic-Nighmare

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dont intend to have sexat my age...

But if your thinking of by myself... 10 i like a nice full king sized bed to my self fuckers.
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#16
emo_tobi

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1
it takes me a really long time to finish so most of the time i fake it and just toss the condom in the trash before they can see it. it sucks but im used to not finishing or even getting half way there so its all about them whether they know it or not. ive only had one girl i was combatible with time-wise and then i was like 3 or 4 because i could focus on myself for once. unfortunately she left for a guy with a larger penis than me. ah well, shit happens... i guess :Cry:
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#17
Steve 

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1
it takes me a really long time to finish so most of the time i fake it and just toss the condom in the trash before they can see it. it sucks but im used to not finishing or even getting half way there so its all about them whether they know it or not. ive only had one girl i was combatible with time-wise and then i was like 3 or 4 because i could focus on myself for once.


My first time I couldn't come and had to fake it, I think it took 3 attempts to actually feel like I'd lost my virginity. At that time I was actually rather selfish because I was just trying so hard to actually reach orgasm. Either way I eventually did it and began focusing on doing it better.

unfortunately she left for a guy with a larger penis than me. ah well, shit happens... i guess :Cry:


If that's the only reason she left you, she's in for a big surprise when she finds out penis size isn't always related to amount of pleasure.
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#18
PageNotFound404

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I haven't had sex yet
The only selfish thing I'd do is stealing my girlfriend's blanket, but that's about it :lol:

Anyway, the idea of "give more than you take" sounds good to me.
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#19
emo_tobi

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My first time I couldn't come and had to fake it, I think it took 3 attempts to actually feel like I'd lost my virginity. At that time I was actually rather selfish because I was just trying so hard to actually reach orgasm. Either way I eventually did it and began focusing on doing it better.



If that's the only reason she left you, she's in for a big surprise when she finds out penis size isn't always related to amount of pleasure.

well ive been having sex for a year now at least once a week and i still have yet to actually ejaculate. i have but from oral and that still took a long time and most girls give up after a while. and yeah i know size dosnt matter as long as its not extreme but a lot of people dont care, they get bad reputation for dating someone with a small penis. plus im in kentucky so everybody is an ignorant fuck. when i was twelve i dated somebody that lasted as long as i did but we never had sex. im gona try to see if i can get with her again and hope everything goes well. wish me luck.
P.S. i know i dont capitalize shit and my spelling is bad but... your mother.
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#20
Crispin

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My girl used to do this crap, and man, I wanted to punch her in the face.

Just seen this.. Why? Genuinely curious.

I know some guys who don't care about giving anything back at all.
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