60 replies to this topic

[justellie]

ok hii... i self harm and i really want to stop. but truth is i cant help it... anyone gonna be bothered to try help me???

[Lightning.]

Can you be bothered to write a bit more?

[w0lfstar_l0ve]

There is a really long and helpful thread with loads of ways to stop self harming. It helped me a lot, and if you ever want some advice, just PM me. But without any specifics it's kind of hard to give you any help and you'd be better off just looking at the existing thread.

[Steve]

First you have to help us to help you. Help us by elaborating, why do you cut? Or if you don't know, why do you think that you do? Are there any problems in your life you wish to tell us that could contribute to you cutting? Do you get any support from friends or relatives? All of this can help us understand why you cut and ultimately we can give advice. You may think everyone's the same when it comes to self harm, but really we're all very different and (much like heart attacks) no two cases are identical.

[TerrierChad]

Please add more details or this thread will be locked.

Why do you self harm? Have you seen any professionals about it? When do you need to do it?

[justellie]

ok well... i started cutting about 2 years ago... i just started because i was really depressed... and i just wanted to 'try' it. it then turned into getting attention from peers i think... that was in 2009... i then didnt cut for a while. but lately i've been cutting again. and i know its not good. and i shouldnt be doing it. but i just cant stop... i read all those other threads and i've read all the pages on how to stop. but i just 'cant' i dont know...

[TerrierChad]

Cheers for adding the info

Have you ever seen a doctor about it?

[teensuicide]

If you're cutting because you're depressed... Maybe you feel like no - one will listen to you... Maybe you feel like the only way to get anyone's attention is to self harm to show them how much you DO care, and how much they hurt you that you'd hurt yourself.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe you're just trading an emotional pain for a physical one, but that's not the answer.

Please believe me when I say cutting isn't the right answer. I know EVERYONE says this, but there's a reason, it's true.

It may not seem like it but there are better ways of dealing with your problems than harming and scarring yourself, trust me, in the future you will regret it.

If your family and friends aren't any help then believe me you're not alone. Not only is most of the forum here at most hours, but there are professionals who are there just to make sure you aren't as fucked up as you feel.

They will give you drugs to control your impulses and unwanted/uncontrollable emotions and make sure you spend your time doing something PRODUCTIVE and that you enjoy/want to do.

~ cocks

[justellie]

hmm thanks. but no body knows about my self harm. i havnt seen anyone about. the only people that know are my besties... and i am definately NOT telling a professional or my parents or anybody about it. and i dont just cut... and its not like i go round trying to get attention. i dont want people to find out.

[teensuicide]

hmm thanks. but no body knows about my self harm. i havnt seen anyone about. the only people that know are my besties... and i am definately NOT telling a professional or my parents or anybody about it. and i dont just cut... and its not like i go round trying to get attention. i dont want people to find out.

Why do you cut then? Maybe it makes you feel better for a short while but in the long run you're gonna regret the scars and the eventual pain you will put everyone else who cares about you through. It's not just self-harm, it affects everyone around you, unless, they don't know of course.

[justellie]

i cant go on youtube anndd idk why i do it anymore... its just like. my life... its alright.... theres nothing terrible about it... but i just dont feel right... i dont see the point in life anymore... im just empty... theres no way to explain it...

[TerrierChad]

Listen, the worst thing you can do is keep it yourself. This goes for any form of depression not just self-harm. I have my ups and downs, sure but I can deal with them better now people know. I was ashamed to tell my family. It all came out after I tried to top myself. Since then though things have changed because you don't realise how much people care. I got myself sorted out. I'm on meds now. Took a while to find the right ones but it's all about managing yourself and having someone there to help you along with it. You really need to get proper help with this.

[justellie]

but im NOT going to tell my parents.... its just not going to happen

[TerrierChad]

Well, I don't know what else to tell you because it's not something that can be dealt with on your own.

[teensuicide]

Gotta agree with Chad here. I know it's hard to let other people know, but realize nothing much is going to change if you don't. You told us, so that's a step in the right direction. Talking about it CAN help and meds can make the process of recovering a lot easier on yourself and others.

[PageNotFound404]

I wish I could know when you need help ...
Hun, you're 13. When I'm around your age, I felt like a dead person. Literally nothing could cheer me up. People were bitching and tired. Me? I was struggling for my life for 4 years.
But trust me, it gets better, way much better. Just have a hold of yourself, you don't need pain to buy happiness, you just need hope and a little of self-control. Do me a favor and have faith in you, okay?
You're special and you said it yourself

[w0lfstar_l0ve]

Don't give up. It's never going to be easy to stop, but telling people will help. They will be able to support you through this and give you advice that can apply to you personally. I know that it's really difficult, but you said your best friends know, and that's a good start. Telling your parents is the hardest part, is there any way you could talk to a professional (maybe a school councellor?) without telling them first? A professional might even be able to help you tell them, and it would reassure them that you are serious about stopping. Whenever you feel like cutting, talk to someone you trust. Try and talk out your issues instead of using a physical pain to stop the emotional pain. Also, if you stop for a little while but then have a relapse (it's pretty much inevitable...) don't think about it like a failure! It's so good that you are trying to stop, and I'm sure your friends will want to help you with that.

[Dr. Hazzard]

I was like you once. I wanna say that I regret it, but what would be the point? It's just my past, and everything's better now. The same thing can happen for you. Don't let the razor own you. You're better than that, and stronger than that. I must say that the thread about self harm really is good help if you take the time to use it. The first thing you need to do to get better is to start accepting help. It's hard. I know. But it CAN be done. I wanted my problems to just be fixed, because helping myself was very hard. It will be hard, but only at the very beginning. It can only get easier. As someone else said, if you are doing better but then cut once again, don't get upset. Stay calm and just try even harder to keep away from it.

As for telling the parentals: The way my parents found out was from one of my friends who called my mom because she saw it getting so bad. Maybe you could ask a friend to tell your mom? That could take away a lot of stress and pressure of telling her. Please PM me if you need any specific help that you don't want to post publicly, or something you'd like to discuss in better detail. I understand how you feel, and so do a lot of people here. We're here to help, and we can be like another family to you if that's what you need.

Also, find something to distract you from this. Go outside, make a big meal or dessert for your family, start playing an instrument, play a sport, go on a walk/bike ride. Just make sure you are occupying your time with good things that will keep you happy. This will make you happier overall, and distracted from being alone and possibly picking up a razor.

Lastly, I'd like to add that scars will always get looks from people. Don't let that upset you. When you start doing better, look at your scars as just battle wounds. That's honestly what they are anyway. They represent how strong you were to stop doing it. But that's not to say that they are glamorous.

I hope I am some help to you. PM me if you need anything at all.

[justellie]

hmmm everyone says... to find something else to do.... but im already busy as fuck... i dance nearly everyday of the week for about 2 hours on average. i play saturday sports. i learn guitar, drums and keyboard... and i think... cause its my parents pressuring me... forcing me to do all this... i think it contributes to my depression.... im not quite sure

[teensuicide]

Well having too much to do can be just as destructive as having too little. If you feel like you have too much pressure in your life maybe you could drop a couple of your extra-curriculars (God knows you already have enough) in turn for some time to relax and maybe work on your problems / yourself. Like has been said, if your parents don't know and just think you want to quit for no reason they might not let you.

Everything's a lot easier if your honest about how you feel.