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Endings And All Their Iffy Ways...

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#1
THE MAN

THE MAN

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So how have the denizens ended relationships,flings,general relationship interactions before? Any that have made you particularly ashamed? Do you have a standard you adhere to in breaking up with people? Is there some lines you will not cross (i.e. texting someone it's over)? Do you have different methods depending on the type of relationship? What do you feel are the advantages/disadvantages of each way?

In ending things I always try to do it face to face. At least for anyone I've had intimate and close relationships with. I figure I owe it to them at least and there is none of the misunderstanding you could get with text messages or phone inflections. I also think this adds a more serious tone to the message. It also has serious repercussions though (the whole suppressing the urge not to baww) and generally is something I reserve for people who I think deserve it.

The one I regret the most was when I text messaged someone that I wanted to cease having any sort of friendship with them. This announcement came during a long and painful text discussion. She had "betrayed" me or at least I thought so. She had derided me, gossiped about me and then slept with the ex of my first serious relationship. It was the last straw for me and I was still hurting from the messy break up (the joys of first love). I regret it because she had been one of my closest friends since I was a small thing and the kind of ignominious ending it was. I was so hurt and very immature.

Anything casual tends to end on me generally. But depending on the person and circumstance I will attempt to end things in person but have no qualms associated with other media. I'll never dump someone with the facebook thing though, 1 because I am married to my closest friend and housemate on the damned thing and 2 because it is rude. I have dumped someone by email before who meant a lot to me but that came on the tail of a face to face conversation they couldn't understand some of my reasons and were a tad traumatised by the ordeal. I just wanted to make sure I had clarified everything. The person I left was pretty n00b at relationships and had trouble coming to terms with the fact that you can love someone and still leave them.

Anywho go
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#2
Steve 

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Oh god, I've always been hurtful when I break up with someone.. I mean it's not like I intentionally do that just to watch them get upset or anything, I just seem to make it worse somehow. I agree with the whole face-to-face breaking up, but I don't think it's really appropriate to break up with someone somewhere public like a restaurant, due to the fact it will probably hurt both me and the person I'm breaking up with.

So far, I've broken up with 2 girls. Both really heavily laid a guilt trip on me, only one of those I felt bad for. The first girl I broke up with ever I had to explain to her that she wasn't emotionally stable enough for me to want to continue a relationship with her, I felt very uncomfortable spending time with her when she was at home and I couldn't take that, which is the one I feel bad about because I was very blunt about it, naíve at the time thinking that she'd take it well.

The second girl cheated on me, which was a relationship ender straight away for me, I didn't even bother to use tact, I told her how I felt about her and how I would never be able to trust her ever again, even if I could ever forgive her. She spent weeks and weeks trying to poison my friends against me, telling them of all the horrible things I did, but that's not the point. It was a messy break up nonetheless.

As for girls I haven't asked out as my girlfriend, anything shorter than a month I tend to just say I don't think it will work out, I don't feel anything beyond friendship for you etc.
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#3
Crispin

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I ended two of them in person. I was cruel and I didn't care. They kinda deserved it.
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#4
teensuicide

teensuicide

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First girlfriend:

was 12 going on 13, she was a year older. we did it for a while but then she was cheating on me with someone a year older than her. i didn't feel threatened by him though because he was a midget, so i walked away from the whole messy ordeal and had a laugh about it later. In short, I can't remember if I ended it through phone or face contact. We went to the same school at the time so probably a mixture of both.

Second girlfriend:

Was when I was aged 14 - 17. She was, again, a year older. (what's wrong with young cocks and all these cougars huh?) Anyway, met her at a gig and we kept in contact through myspace. we met up a lot (a lot for a semi-long distance anyway) and things were okay. She was just getting over a relationship though so things were a bit weird at first but she sorted that out within the first month of just seeing her and nothing official. After the first year she moved in with me and that's when things got shit. I realized I only loved her in small doses and she was beginning to hate my laziness too. We argued, cheated (i had sex with a pretty hot girl who was a year younger :)) she just did someone in her year, i don't care, the relationship was mainly based on spite by this point. When she told me we had to break up because she was moving away I think she thought I'd be hurt but I was actually so fucking happy I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders

Third girlfriend:

A few months after I slept with a cute girl who was 3 years younger than me. I still keep in contact to her to this day and we've played around with each other a lot but never anything serious. Then I met one of her friends and she had "fallen" for me or whatever so I was pretty much banging her friend for a year and a bit. I liked this girl a lot more than the first two, but not as much as my fling before. :( She was fun, but she was fucking crazy and because she was so young she changed so much over the course of a year and a half and was a different person than I'd fallen for.. so that leaves me with

Fourth girlfriend:

A few months after the end of that third relationship I had another fling with one of my ex girlfriend and my ex fling buddy's friend, who was also 3 years younger than me. Then I met a girl who was 4 years younger than me and I fucked her for a few months and that was that. :P

Um here I am now. :lol:
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