19 replies to this topic

[XandAIDS]

This is a thread to share your experiences with cheating. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on in a relationship? How did you react/how did it affect you/why did you cheat?

What are your "dos" and "don'ts" as regards cheating?


Reese's Dos and Donts

Do:
Do Move along with your life

Dont:
Don't become obsessive

Edited by yinfaitl, 13 March 2012 - 08:01 AM.
making purpose of thread clearer

[Lavinia]

Is this advice of the day, now?

[XandAIDS]

Will it?

Well I hope many people reply from experiences so people can come on here and maybe take interest in an opinion before they lash out in a foollsh way

[Lavinia]

You didn't specify that's what you wanted in the OP. You've not made it clear whatsoever what direction you want this thread taken in, you decided to make a topic with an ambiguous title and very non informative description.
Okay, so it's about people who have been cheated on. What else?

If you wanted people to post advice, share their stories and opinions - you should have stated so beforehand, instead of trying to appear cool and mysterious with your useless original post.

[XandAIDS]

I thank for you opinion, and I respect, but I don't think this out of nowhere post is useless. There people out there who just got cheated on and don't what to do. So unless you are a Moderator, please don't tell me what to do. I think I have an Idea of what I am doing. I think what I posted is just fine, and Unless a moderator has a problem with it, they can post it on here and tell me what needs to be changed. And for record, I wasn't trying to be cool. That was not on my agenda. So have a great day and smile.

[Lavinia]

'There people out there who just got cheated on and don't what to do'

Yeah, because your topic is really helping anyone or pointing them in the right direction of how to deal with adultery. Awesome.

[finality]

OP I edited your post to steer the thread in the right direction, hope you don't mind.

Can we keep this on topic now please?

[elicitToxicity]

What defines whether putting one's hand on a hot stove is a good idea or not ?

[LionJess]

I'm sure there are people who can consider forgiving their partner and believe they can rebuild a relationship. Personally speaking, I don't believe that it's something I could ever forgive and my trust for that person would be ultimately shattered. As a good friend of mine so eloquently put it after he'd been cheated on: More than once, she probably kissed me just after she'd finished sucking his cock".

I don't know if there's all that much to be said about it really, it's a guide that ultimately seems more relevant to younger teenagers and relationships. To me you make a simple choice as to whether you want to attempt to continue with that relationship or not. Again to me personally, I don't know if I could consider remaining friends with them. It's the ultimate slap in the face and how am I supposed to remain friends with someone who showed me no respect whatsoever and didn't at least have the guts to tell me they want to go fuck someone else. People balk at that and ask how you could consider being so crude and hurtful - what the fuck do they think cheating is doing? I just don't understand cheating whatsoever. I don't care what point you claim you're driven to, how drunk you claim to be - I don't care and I don't buy into any of it. You could've fucking waited at least one more night and had the bloody decency to break off your commitment to someone else. That doesn't even take into account people who cheat for MONTHS.

No, I've never cheated on anyone, and to my knowledge, I've never been cheated on. That said, I've been in several open relationships, or 'dating' that I allowed to go on no-strings-attached, stupidly. But that was a choice I made, and I knew at the time that they were free to go off with other people. None of them slept with other people, and there's only one I'd be genuinely question whether he did go off and kiss other girls or whatever.

[Two Headed Bro]

Break up with them. It's not hard.

[.:.Lish.:.]

You can cheat if your bf/gf doesn't put out....or you could break up with them and be a playa

[finality]

You can cheat if your bf/gf doesn't put out....or you could break up with them and be a playa

Er...nope. Really doesn't work like that.

[XandAIDS]

OP I edited your post to steer the thread in the right direction, hope you don't mind.

Can we keep this on topic now please?

Thank you for being ever so helpful, I surely don't mind.

[XandAIDS]

You can cheat if your bf/gf doesn't put out....or you could break up with them and be a playa

LOL having fun trolling?

Well if that is TRULY your opinion, I respect it.

[.:.Lish.:.]

LOL having fun trolling?

Well if that is TRULY your opinion, I respect it.

Yeah...it really is my opinion, it seems to solve my problems so yeah.....I dunno...everyone's different

[Steve]

I don't know if there's all that much to be said about it really, it's a guide that ultimately seems more relevant to younger teenagers and relationships. To me you make a simple choice as to whether you want to attempt to continue with that relationship or not. Again to me personally, I don't know if I could consider remaining friends with them. It's the ultimate slap in the face and how am I supposed to remain friends with someone who showed me no respect whatsoever and didn't at least have the guts to tell me they want to go fuck someone else. People balk at that and ask how you could consider being so crude and hurtful - what the fuck do they think cheating is doing? I just don't understand cheating whatsoever. I don't care what point you claim you're driven to, how drunk you claim to be - I don't care and I don't buy into any of it. You could've fucking waited at least one more night and had the bloody decency to break off your commitment to someone else. That doesn't even take into account people who cheat for MONTHS.

Agree. When I found out my girlfriend cheated on me it was over in an instant. I still cared for her, but I knew it was stupid to continue to be with her, who can trust someone who does that? Even if I did believe people change and she never cheated again, it would still be in the back of my mind every day after whether or not she's cheating. The paranoia would be too much and the relationship (along with the dead trust) would ultimately crumble anyway. Being really drunk and cheating isn't excusable either, I don't care what drugs you did, what you took because that was your choice and you should expect to take full responsibility for that. The only cheating I could excuse (and come to think of it, isn't really cheating) is if you were drugged out of your own free will and taken advantage of(date raped in other words). I would only have a problem with the person who drugged them, which would probably not end well for them.

I never understood how people could cheat for so long and not give a shit. I mean I know there are people out there who only really care about themselves, but they're toying with another person's emotions and that's just sick. Selfishness, greed and inability to give a fuck about your partner are probably pretty common traits in cheaters, I don't know how people who are cheated on can stand to be with someone like that, I really don't. If a girlfriend became interested in someone else and stopped becoming interested in me, but told me about it and broke up with me, I'd be upset as fuck, sure, but I'd know she at least respected me and cared about me enough not to string me along and be with this other guy behind my back.

You can cheat if your bf/gf doesn't put out....or you could break up with them and be a playa

Yeah, that's probably the most heinous reply yet. If the reason you're with them is for sex/physical attention etc. and they're not giving it to you, you should probably break up with them and find someone more fitting to your needs, rather than stringing them along and screwing someone else behind their back, because that's pretty shitty of you to play with someone like that.

@XandAIDS: You could try growing a spine and arguing with people who have different opinions to you, ya know.

But yeah, my advice to people cheating is to be human and tell the person you're cheating on the truth, as well as break it off with them. You wouldn't like it if you were the one being cheated on, so empathise a little. To the people being cheated on that know about it; break it off. There's no use hanging onto those feelings you have for them, end it ASAP because it's only going to be a distressing experience for you even if they never cheat again it's going to haunt you that they once did. Besides, you could be single and find someone who actually deserves your attention and will return the love and respect, so to speak, instead of wasting time on someone you know in the back of your mind will not make you as happy as they made you before, ever again.

[XandAIDS]

Agree. When I found out my girlfriend cheated on me it was over in an instant. I still cared for her, but I knew it was stupid to continue to be with her, who can trust someone who does that? Even if I did believe people change and she never cheated again, it would still be in the back of my mind every day after whether or not she's cheating. The paranoia would be too much and the relationship (along with the dead trust) would ultimately crumble anyway. Being really drunk and cheating isn't excusable either, I don't care what drugs you did, what you took because that was your choice and you should expect to take full responsibility for that. The only cheating I could excuse (and come to think of it, isn't really cheating) is if you were drugged out of your own free will and taken advantage of(date raped in other words). I would only have a problem with the person who drugged them, which would probably not end well for them.

I never understood how people could cheat for so long and not give a shit. I mean I know there are people out there who only really care about themselves, but they're toying with another person's emotions and that's just sick. Selfishness, greed and inability to give a fuck about your partner are probably pretty common traits in cheaters, I don't know how people who are cheated on can stand to be with someone like that, I really don't. If a girlfriend became interested in someone else and stopped becoming interested in me, but told me about it and broke up with me, I'd be upset as fuck, sure, but I'd know she at least respected me and cared about me enough not to string me along and be with this other guy behind my back.


Yeah, that's probably the most heinous reply yet. If the reason you're with them is for sex/physical attention etc. and they're not giving it to you, you should probably break up with them and find someone more fitting to your needs, rather than stringing them along and screwing someone else behind their back, because that's pretty shitty of you to play with someone like that.

@XandAIDS: You could try growing a spine and arguing with people who have different opinions to you, ya know.

But yeah, my advice to people cheating is to be human and tell the person you're cheating on the truth, as well as break it off with them. You wouldn't like it if you were the one being cheated on, so empathise a little. To the people being cheated on that know about it; break it off. There's no use hanging onto those feelings you have for them, end it ASAP because it's only going to be a distressing experience for you even if they never cheat again it's going to haunt you that they once did. Besides, you could be single and find someone who actually deserves your attention and will return the love and respect, so to speak, instead of wasting time on someone you know in the back of your mind will not make you as happy as they made you before, ever again.

Thank you for contributing your advice to this topic. I think that coming into the forums community you can't expect someone to absolutely agree with your opinion. I mean isn't that what this is all about? getting an opinion from someone else, it being different or the same I feel you should respect it. You may not like it, but respecting their different views is going to help you become a wise person. Or at least that's my opinion ;D

[Steve]

^Yeah, but you shouldn't respect every damned opinion out there. It's probably more wise in fact to know when an opinion is justified or when it's an absolute crock.

[finality]

Thank you for contributing your advice to this topic. I think that coming into the forums community you can't expect someone to absolutely agree with your opinion. I mean isn't that what this is all about? getting an opinion from someone else, it being different or the same I feel you should respect it. You may not like it, but respecting their different views is going to help you become a wise person. Or at least that's my opinion ;D

Respecting a different view which is stupid is only going to help you become a stupid person.

[ ᠎]

Having been on both sides of this, I can safely say that if you are cheated on:

Do bang their best friend.

Do not do what they did, because it gets easier every time.