8 replies to this topic

[Skathe]

Hey all, so help me out haha. I'm a senior in highschool, a few months away from graduating. All throughout Freshmen, Sophomore, and Junior year, i was bullied viciously. I had to change classes, and take different routes around the school just to avoid people. Everyone bullied me, kids, teachers, my parents, everyone. Now, I'm 18 years old, really angry with everyone and wanting nothing more then revenge. I internalize everything however so nobody really knows how I feel about them. The problem is that the teachers that used to scream at me in front of the class and make me feel horrible, aren't my teachers anymore. The kids that would beat the hell out of me, take and break all my stuff, and ruined my relationships have all grown up and stopped that behavior. Some even apologized to me. And my parents that would fight with me all the time, now fight with each other and leave me alone. But even with that I'm left with this feeling of intense hatred. seeing these people in school or noticing something on facebook or anything else about them drives me crazy. I want to personally pay them back for everything that they have done to me, but thats so stupid and short sighted. Im so tired of being filled with hate all the time, im so tired of walking around and empty hallway or walking into the bathroom PRAYING that nobody would hurt me. I was wondering if anyone out there could just give me a bit of advice so that I could move on with my life too, like they have. But i am in no way looking for sympathy, so please don't add that thanks so much guys.

[NewlyGeeking]

Well all I can say is talk to somebody about it.
I've gone through the same thing with bullying, just getting angrier and angrier and wishing I could fight each and everyone of those arseholes, teach them a lesson and make them pay for the shit they did. But I talked to friends about it, talked to my family, talked to a councellor even. It helps a little, getting your feelings out there, you can also take self defence classes or kick boxing classes, something that gets you active and out there. Kind of redirecting your anger towards something else and focusing on that, instead of directing it at past problems.
Or if that isn't helping try something more calming like meditation, yoga, painting or pottery... Something that relaxes you and gets your mind as far away from thinking about your bullies as possible. When I was younger used to say 'one day you're going to be a janitor or garbage guy' think little things like that, not much of a revenge I know, but younger me was easy to placate.
Yeah I have to admit, even now I get a little pissed up and upset about the past, but in the end just think of them as something you can brush off *shrugs* All I can say.

Hopefully it helps.

[Steve]

you can also take self defence classes or kick boxing classes, something that gets you active and out there. Kind of redirecting your anger towards something else and focusing on that, instead of directing it at past problems.

I agree with the whole venting in a more healthy way advice. Taking something negative (like pent up anger and hatred) and using a positive way of releasing the rage like kick boxing or exercising gives off satisfaction, whereas taking anger out on someone you hate can have consequences you regret, maugre the fact you temporarily feel good that you've had your revenge.

I've not had a lot of experience bullying, so I can't directly relate to that, but I have had experience with hating someone so much that I've lashed out on them. Trust me, it's not satisfying as you'd think it was, hurting someone like that and the consequences were pretty dire too. At least (some of) these people have apologised, they acknowledge they did you wrong and are sorry for doing so. You'll probably have that anger inside you a while, so again, I think you should take NewlyGeeking's advice on a healthier output.

[Reflection]

Wear the grudge like a crown.

[Forzare!]

Harboring a lot of resentment isn't healthy and will probably backfire on you in the future.
I agree with the above posters that you need to find a way to distract yourself from this anger and separate yourself from it, you seem to be really involved with the resentment you feel and you're stewing on it more and more. Find some distractions like suggested above and find someone to talk to about this, I suggest this a lot but it's really helpful to see a counsellor and talk things through and they'd be in a better position to axtually help you.

[FamePlay]

A grudge is something that may eat away at you, it isn't healthy. If possible the best option is to understand that:

1: The kids who were bullying you were immature at the time, since some have apologized maybe its best to accept that kids judge each other, it happens

2: It seems like the issue with your parents could be related to something entirely different than you. A lot of the time a parent will take out their anger on their children when something else in their life is interfering or frustrating them.

3: Whats in the past should remain in the past. You may feel hatred towards these people but revenge solves nothing and in the end your more likely to feel just as guilty or low as they do.

Sometimes the best option is to find a way to let go. This can be done in a few ways, if its a serious issue you can seek professional help. If this is simply just a case where you have trouble dealing with the individuals that caused you pain then find a means to separate yourselves from them (you can block people on facebook, you can remove friends, and since they dont bully you anymore it is possible to avoid them). The final and in my opinion most desirable option is to simply accept that the past happened, many of these people apologized to you, and that trying to get revenge will only lead to more problems, in other words, move on, shit happens. I know its a tough process but its a lesson that everyone needs to learn. Just because someone did something terrible to you doesnt necessarily mean you should do the same to them. The only way to feel happy about a situation is to be a good person. By doing acts of kindness people will recognize you more as being someone they can respect. True respect comes from the acknowledgment of kindness or achievement. Be that kind person, forgive and forget.

[Victor Jackson]

your a senior who cares your going to be somebody and there going to be lame squares forever they just hate you
cause your diffrent while they are followers who lick each others ass so just dont worry graduate and move on .

[Algernon]

Resentment leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering; suffering leads to the dark side.

[Skathe]

Hey haha sorry for the delay, life keeps moving. anyway! the problem is I really don't have anyone to talk to, except all you people that bothered to answer me , and I would never dream of taking revenge on anybody. What happened in the past is gone, i understand that, but for some reason the fear, and depression, and anger won't go away. but talking about it here is really helping, my problems were probably only as bad as they were because nobody cared to listen to them. Another part is that it just isn't fair in my eyes. Not to sound cocky, but i'm probably the nicest kid in the damn school. Im kind, and caring, passive, and calm all the time. Why does someone like me get all the shit, when the abrasive assholes get away from it unharmed? like most of you said I'm a senior and these people can rot, what does it matter, Honestly I'm just scared that these feelings will follow me around and poison future relationships that i have. since everyone was always mean to me, its hard for me to adapt to a caring environment. I grew up with constant hatred coming at me for no reason, so im used to being on the defense all the time and i act like a douche bag because i'm afraid people will attack me if i act like my real self. has anyone ever been there? and if so how'd you get out