8 replies to this topic

[.Aneraxium.]

I can't believe I'm actually back hereafter so long. Nor can I believe I'm actually asking for advice. But that is not the point, this is:

So, my dad had been feeling really sick lately and after many doctors appointments and countless tests we find out he has prostate cancer. Now we're very lucky because apparently its still quite small and they can remove it, so chances are he'll be fine. But I'm just really worried about him, and the fact that its not a guarantee that he'll be fine.
I mean I learnt how to cope (sort of) when my grandma got sick, as well as with my granddad, but what about my dad? I'm hardly coping with the lose of my grandparents, how do I add the knowledge that my dad has cancer and still get through life?

I'm terrible at coping when bad things happen, so my question is what can i do to keep my mind off everything and still function?
Cause trust me I started smoking like a chimney few months after my grandma passed and I've started drinking far too much since my granddad passed, so I think I need healthier coping mechanisms.

[QWERTYASDFGH]

I remember when my grandfather was really sick..with multiple things.. High blood pressure,cancer, high cholesterol.. One day i was downstairs and i heard a thump.. My grandfather fell in the bathroom. It was so strange to me, because i always thought he was so strong. Well that was the scariest day of my life. I kept worrying. what if he dies? what is my grandmother going to do? I was really upset..i really felt he was gonna go and there were so many things i was sorry for. Anyways sorry for the rambling but...




Tbh,There is no proper way to cope with something like this, all you can do is stay positive.. Read about what your father has so you'll know the procedures he'll have to go through.. If it'll make you feel better,question the doctors on the actions they are going to take so you'll know at least what they are going to be doing. I know some people will tell you don't think about it cause they have that whole" ignorance is bliss" thing going on, but in a case like this you should have all the knowledge you can. Also sticking around your family works as well.. Nothing feels greater than having your family close together in a situation like this.. Just assure yourself he is going to be ok.

[.Aneraxium.]

Thanks yeah, I read up on prostate cancer when we found out my granddad had it, its kind of nice to already know what my dad is going through, sucks cause I saw my granddad suffer.

I know what you mean with your grandfather, I went through simillar with my grandma almost forur years ago, she collapsed in the kitchen one day from her cancer and stuff. It's hard to see family suffer.

[ ᠎]

I don't know, man, you tell me.

Still trying to figure out that one myself.

[Lavinia]

I don't think you can ever cope. It's hard to accept that someone you love has cancer. Heck, I have trouble saying the word out loud without wanting to cry. I saw my step grandad die after having a stroke after days of watching him suffer, knowing he was going to die, his entire body was paralysed. My great grandad passed away of a heart attack, and I saw my great grandma just waste away because of it. My grandad had a heart attack when I was young, I saw my dad collapse and there was no one else around. My aunt has breast cancer, and with her treatment she may end up having another form of cancer, she has five years to live if we're lucky. I know how you feel.

I don't want to depress you, but it's sad. It hurts, as you well know. It's heart wrenching. Sometimes you can't even think how to face life without the people you love. But, enjoy what you have now and accept it. It's going to be hard for you, but you're not alone and using substances will not help. Accept that your family members have left you and try to remember good things, and love those around you. Talk to your dad about how he feels, have a long chat and just let it all out one to one. It really helps. I talked to my aunt, and spent an entire day with her alone after her first operation. She showed me her head and bruises and told me what would happen. And it was just.. I cried so much, but it helped. You need to hear this from your dad.

[Nereus]

Simple answer: You can't.

I wish I had an answer myself. Cancer isn't a word that I haven't heard before. I had three family members suffer through cancer. My mother had breast cancer when I was 3. She had to have her breasts amputated because the doctors were afraid the cancer would spread to her other organs. She's been in remission now for 21 years. My grandfather died of lung cancer and my uncle died of what your dad has now: prostate cancer.

It's a hard thing dealing with cancer. I know how you feel. It's very natural to feel the way you do even if he is going to be fine. Be close to him. Hug him. Have a long talk with him. Make sure he knows how you feel. Believe me, that's going to do right by him because he knows he has people that care about him and that will make him fight even more to combat this. You can just stay positive. There's no one thing you can do to cope. But you cannot fall apart. He needs you to stay strong so he can be strong. Not an easy task at all, but one you can do if you just believe.

[LionJess]

I don't know if there's really an answer to that. You'll hear good stories and you'll hear bad stories. I personally believe that the only way to be able to get through it for now is to only see the good. If you give in to depressing thoughts or only hear horrifying stories, it's going to be much harder to stay strong. All of your family will have their days when they break down and when it's impossible to deal with it, because there's no lying about it, cancer is an absolute bitch of a disease and not something that's easy to beat.

I know that everyone is different, but I think one of the best things you can do for now is to try to keep yourself busy and make yourself useful, for want of a better word, say things like making dinner for the family, cleaning up without being asked, helping out with younger siblings and relatives, and ultimately being there for your father. If he is in hospital for treatment at all, I know from experience that if you're in hospital, visiting hours are pretty much what gets you through the day. Don't isolate yourself by being busy though, of course, right now more than ever you need your family, friends and loved ones. But I think you need to be positive about this, for your fathers sake, particularly around him. Don't ignore what's going on, but don't make it sound like it's the end of anything either.

[Lightning.]

My grandad was diagnosed with prostate cancer before I was born. He died when I was 17 it was managed as his prostate was removed and he was on medication

It is hard to accept that he has cancer but it is easier to deal with the emotions if you say" right you have it but we can get through it" and my grandad did that for 20 years

[Rellik San]

Cancer sucks and I lost my Step Dad to it.


Sucks, but at the end of the day, all you can really do is get on with life, it's upsetting sure, but at the end of the day, he doesn't want to be treated with kid gloves and he wouldn't want you wasting your youth worrying about the old. (at least I don't think he would).

I'm also not saying to ignore it, but deal with it as each issue arrises and the rest of time, regardless of what happens he is still your Dad and still needs you to be happy.