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Torment

Started by 12stonesfreak25 , May 21 2012 05:47 PM

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6 replies to this topic

#1
12stonesfreak25

Posted 21 May 2012 - 05:47 PM

Delicate Snowflake

Full Members
12 posts

Gender:Male
Country
US State:North Carolina
Fav Band A Day To Remember
Fav Song Never Enough by Five Finger Death Punch

I am anger I am rage;

I dont even wanna turn the page;

Can't do anything without it being wrong;

I may be a man but I sure ain't strong;

Learned the hard way by fear at night;

Nothing in this world can free me of my plight;

I gain nothing by hurting you;

So what am I supposed to do;

Cursed the day I turned my back;

Go ahead and tell me everything I lack;

Everything's bleeding and everything's hurt;

I am just lying in the dirt;

With eyes to see and I see something;

I act like I'm dead and now I hear nothing;

Trespass in me I've seen many things;

Prick me with a needle and sure it stings;

Been struggling, see me with a fake smile;

It just means you haven't known me for a while;

Burning me alive and I call for assisstance;

I reach up for a hand but rejected by resistance;

Kindness is an enemy, an all-to-common foe;

I haven't come to know it but I sure like it though;

This all just means my torment's just begun;

I will fight and struggle until my life is done

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#2
.:.Lish.:.

Posted 23 May 2012 - 06:01 AM

Don't Feed The Trolls

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1,318 posts

Gender:Female
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Fav Band Eminem
Fav Song Troublemaker - Olly Murs feat. Flo Rida

Spacing -.-

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#3
Let_Love_Bleed_Red

Posted 28 May 2012 - 05:04 PM

Nigrescent Black Hole

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1,977 posts

Gender:Female
Location:a place only i have the knowledge of reaching
Country
US State:Virginia
Fav Band Sleeping With Sirens
Fav Song Sleeping With Sirens-If Im James Dean You're Audrey Hepburn

I think it's good...I enjoyed reading It and I have to agree on the spacing thing it's not really nessisary...

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#4
Steve

Posted 29 May 2012 - 03:49 AM

King of modesty

Sub Moderators
2,444 posts

Gender:Not Telling
Location:Huddersfield
Country
Fav Band Breaking Benjamin
Fav Song Breaking Benjamin - Evil Angel

Oh god I know what you're trying to do here and it just makes you come off as a whiny teen who lost some girl and is taking it too far. Can I add a verse?

then I manned up and grew a moustache;

and threw this awful poem in the trash;

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#5
Ashez

Posted 04 June 2012 - 12:14 PM

Tortured Rose

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31 posts

Gender:Female
Location:burning in Hell for all of eternity....
Country
US State:Missouri
Fav Band Blood on the Dance Floor
Fav Song Iris by Sleeping With Sirens (Goo Goo Dolls cover)

i love it, i can relate, sadly *hugs you*

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#6
Let_Love_Bleed_Red

Posted 04 June 2012 - 01:31 PM

Nigrescent Black Hole

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1,977 posts

Gender:Female
Location:a place only i have the knowledge of reaching
Country
US State:Virginia
Fav Band Sleeping With Sirens
Fav Song Sleeping With Sirens-If Im James Dean You're Audrey Hepburn

Oh god I know what you're trying to do here and it just makes you come off as a whiny teen who lost some girl and is taking it too far. Can I add a verse?

then I manned up and grew a moustache;

and threw this awful poem in the trash;

He has a point...but I still like it.