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Another poem. . . It's only a little'un. Any constructive criticism is welcome. Abuse is expected.
What is Love, Anyway?
You are the cicatrice
Your ubiquity marked
on my skin
you permanently adorn
You are the reflection
of my condition
disregard the bud
and ignore the prick of thorns
You are the concept
of a terminal bout
of selfishness
in it's most violent form
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[Poem] What Is Love, Anyway?
Started by
lukejeffrey12
, Jun 03 2012 01:42 PM
#1
Posted 03 June 2012 - 01:42 PM
lukejeffrey12
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#2
Posted 03 June 2012 - 03:00 PM
Staton
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Wrong 'its' brah
#3
Posted 03 June 2012 - 03:47 PM
lukejeffrey12
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Wrong 'its' brah
I've 'cleverly' personified the concept of selfishness!
(That and It won't let me re-edit my post
)
#4
Posted 01 July 2012 - 06:57 PM
bai_rawr
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its good but the poem need to be describe so it would be easyer to relate to and for it more easyer to see the picture your try to create use smaller words because you have to many words to process to try to create the picture in your head i hope that helps
#5
Posted 01 July 2012 - 09:21 PM
ZombieRecon
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+1
Love it Luke
Love it Luke
#6
Posted 08 July 2012 - 07:39 AM
lukejeffrey12
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its good but the poem need to be describe so it would be easyer to relate to and for it more easyer to see the picture your try to create use smaller words because you have to many words to process to try to create the picture in your head i hope that helps
The ambiguity is the basis of the poem. Form reflects content and all that. . . Thanks for commenting but to write obvious, descriptive poetry would be an insult to peoples intelligence. It is a criminal form of poetry and it is adolescent in the highest. And I will not 'use smaller words'. I refuse to cater to the lowest common denominator. Byron wouldn't do it. Wilde wouldn't do it. I won't do it. But thanks for the comment anyway
And thanks Jade
I'm glad somebody liked it
#7
Posted 08 July 2012 - 02:28 PM
DarkParadise
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Come on baby show me what that loaded gun is for?
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When I read it for some reason I hear a pleading voice beyond it. Either way, I really liked the poem. It was really fucking awesome.
#8
Posted 08 July 2012 - 04:44 PM
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I like the wording and structure thought it would make it easier to read if you had used some punctuation here. I don't like the first sentence though it ruines the poem for me. You have used a good language yet the first line is just a punch in the guts "What is love, anyway?" No I think the poem is better without it.
#9
Posted 08 July 2012 - 05:20 PM
lukejeffrey12
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Thanks for the lovely comments :3
Uh, hjohn; 'What is Love Anyway? is the title it isn't a line in the poem nor an extention of it. It is merely the theme explored in the poem and the three stanzas attempt to answer that . . . So no need to worry, matey
Uh, hjohn; 'What is Love Anyway? is the title it isn't a line in the poem nor an extention of it. It is merely the theme explored in the poem and the three stanzas attempt to answer that . . . So no need to worry, matey
#10
Posted 08 July 2012 - 06:33 PM
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Oh, that's true! I missed it and I apologize for it!
#11
Posted 09 July 2012 - 05:11 AM
lukejeffrey12
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No worries, my friend Do you have any poetry on here to devoured and discussed?
Do you have any poetry on here to devoured and discussed?
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