7 replies to this topic

[Ashez]

She sits alone;
He’s left her side;
He lets her cry;
While he goes out tonight.
She wants to forget him;
Forget the pain he cause;
The joy she felt in the beginning;
Turns to anguish and agony in the end.
He doesn’t care anymore;
Did he even love her in the first place?
She lays in her bed;
Staring at the ceiling;
Wishing she was looking into his eyes instead.
He starts dancing with some girl;
His friends laugh with him as she twirls;
He holds her in his arms and thinks “Maybe I could have some fun”.
He pulls out his phone and texts her;
“Hey, do you wanna do something for me?”;
She jumps at the unexpected noise and looks down at the phone on the floor beside her.
She picks it up and looks at who it’s from;
Tears form in her eyes and she dies all over again.
Why won’t he just leave her alone?
She slides the phone open and texts back “What do you want?”;
Because she’s still his slave.
He asks her something cruel;
Something that makes her sick;
“Do you wanna talk dirty for me?
It’ll make me happy”
She jumps from her bed and rushes to the bathroom;
She pukes up everything in her stomach;
And everything that’s not;
The only thing she can’t rid herself of;
Is her memories and love for him.
She cleans herself up and sits back down;
All alone in her room;
By herself in the bed that she once shared with him.
“Ok, I’ll do anything to make you happy.”
He starts asking her questions that disgust her;
But she still answers them;
She closes her eyes as she can’t take it anymore;
He’s still swaying with that girl;
Taking her to a dark room;
Doing what he once did with the girl he used to love.
What happened?
They both ask themselves;
He pulls out what’s in his pants;
At the same time she pulls out a knife;
She can’t live with herself anymore;
She presses it to her skin;
And swiftly cuts through her skin;
She stumbles into the bathroom;
And opens a bottle of pills;
She doesn’t want anyone to stop her;
So she’ll kill herself twice.
She swallows some valium with a big drink of vodka;
She takes the knife in her hand again;
And cuts herself twice;
Her vision blurs as her heart slows;
Her mind gets fuzzy as he realizes he still loves her;
He calls her phone to say sorry;
Only to realize that he’s too late to save her.
He runs out of the party and speeds toward her house;
It took him 5 minutes to get there;
But it only took her 3 minutes to die;
He finds her lifeless body all alone;
Her phone is in her hand with a picture of him being the last thing she saw;
He holds her in his arms and cries as he looks into the empty eyes of the girl he loved;
He looks around in panic and sees the knife, pills and bottle;
He looks at her once last time and whisperers he’s sorry;
Eyes watering with self-hate and shame;
He tilts back his head and swallows the last of the pills;
He closes his eyes and smiles as he sees her smiling face.
He lays down beside her;
His arms curled around her;
And he quietly falls asleep;
Beside the girl whose heart he broke;
The heart he was too late to repair.
The next morning her father walks in and finds them side by side;
And begins to cry;
The funeral is full of mourners and tears;
While in heaven they run together;
All forgotten;
All forgiven;
Everything is perfect;
Now that she’s alone with him again.

[Insane Pie]

It would be an easier read if it was broken up a bit, in my opnion.

[IamAshley.]

^This

[Lightning.]

It reminds me of the Facebook things;
Boy: I'm going to call the person I love
Girl: oh noes *runs into road gets hit by car and dies*
Boy: *crying beside her* I was going to call you

Liek if u creys

[Visn]

There are a few spelling errors in there; I'm not sure if they're by choice or not. It's a bit long and like everyone has stated, it'd be easier to read if it was broken up a little bit. Otherwise it's not bad, but I feel like it was a bit of a run-on.

[sweetemogirlrawr]

this made me cry

[Cinema]

At the same time she pulls out a knife;
She can’t live with herself anymore;
She presses it to her skin;
And swiftly cuts through her skin;
She stumbles into the bathroom;
And opens a bottle of pills;
She doesn’t want anyone to stop her;
So she’ll kill herself twice.
She swallows some valium with a big drink of vodka;
She takes the knife in her hand again;
And cuts herself twice;
Her vision blurs as her heart slows;
Her mind gets fuzzy as he realizes he still loves her;
He calls her phone to say sorry;
Only to realize that he’s too late to save her.
He runs out of the party and speeds toward her house;
It took him 5 minutes to get there;
But it only took her 3 minutes to die;
He finds her lifeless body all alone;
Her phone is in her hand with a picture of him being the last thing she saw;
He holds her in his arms and cries as he looks into the empty eyes of the girl he loved;
He looks around in panic and sees the knife, pills and bottle;
He looks at her once last time and whisperers he’s sorry;
Eyes watering with self-hate and shame;
He tilts back his head and swallows the last of the pills;
He closes his eyes and smiles as he sees her smiling face.
He lays down beside her;
His arms curled around her;
And he quietly falls asleep;
Beside the girl whose heart he broke;
The heart he was too late to repair.
The next morning her father walks in and finds them side by side;
And begins to cry;
The funeral is full of mourners and tears;
While in heaven they run together;
All forgotten;
All forgiven;
Everything is perfect;
Now that she’s alone with him again.

i thought it was good until these parts came in to be honest; just a bit cliched. and the title with the "</3" takes away from it in my opinion.

[Ashez]

yea, i know, not one of my best ones, its actually one of my worst, i lost my muse for a while and this poem was written during that time