60 replies to this topic

[Lavinia]

I don't even know if this is in the right section.

What, in your opinion, is the best part of being in a relationship? Or what do you miss about being in a relationship, if you're single at the moment? What are the joys of being single? Etc.

Aside from the obvious 'lolol sex' or 'woo I got blowed' ; Intimacy is pretty nice, but aside from that. Like, emotional stuff.

Curious to know, as I'm lying on the couch freezing because it's so cold. I have poor circulation, and I'm always cold, and the thing I miss about being with someone is the free cuddles, and warmth. Of course, I can get that with friends too, but it's different, y'know? I need a Jacob in my life. :3 I also miss special smiles, and random kisses.

However, I do like the freedom of being single. It's not lonely, as people like to dub it. It's merely having your hand in a dessert jar, but not having a specific dessert in mind, you just want to try them all. If that makes sense?

Anyway, none of this makes sense, I can barely see what I'm typing, and I'm still half asleep. Mods feel free to move, edit this if needed or if I made an error.

[IamAshley.]

Mmmmmm.... What I like about being in a relationship is the security. The guy I am with has always been my best friend. I don't know, he makes me feel safe, he comforts me, he tells me when everything will be ok.
However I do miss being able to perv on guys without feeling guilty. D:

[DrunkKidCatholic]

Hmm...Well, in my opinion, a relationship is great because of the connection and the closeness. Having that feeling that every time you kiss, fireworks go off. I miss that.
Best part of being single : There's no fear of getting hurt.

[Fujoshi Otaku]

I'm a complete robot so I prefer being single. I've only ever been in one relationship, and the hugging, and being expected to kiss was too much for me. I'd never had anyone wanting to be so close to me all the time before, and I kind of felt trapped by it. It's not something I want to try again.
But there was one time when he was hugging me that I just felt oddly relaxed, and could have happily stayed like that for longer. I'm not the kind of person who would want to get used to having someone around to hug all the time, though. I'm too darm stubborn and robot-like. XD

Being single, I am not expected to make physical contact with anyone. Just the way I like it.

[TheyKilledAlice]

It's exactly as you say, people often underestimate the merits of being single.
To quote you: "It's merely having your hand in a dessert jar, but not having a specific dessert in mind, you just want to try them all."

Couples often wonder how you can possibly be happy living on your own, but in my opinion it all depends on how well you are with others.
I don't need people around me 24/7, like to go at my ow pace from time to time, and being single gives you that breathing space.

Yes, it's true that being in a relationship can be great, you can share love etc... but there can be more then just that. Being in a relationship doesn't have to be a goal, as often misunderstood.
Persons in love tend to push (happy) singles to get a lover too (at least that's in my case). It's like you can't even talk to a boy anymore without others giving you looks (the -'Go for it'- kind).

I'm just happy to have my friends around me, boys and girls, without getting too serious.

[Two Headed Bro]

tfw no qt hipster gf

[ArmyofMe]

Uhhh what does this word...single mean? just kidding. I know I bitch a lot about relationships and how I wish I was single but I really don't. I guess since I was 12/15 I always, always was with someone even if it was for a split minute or day or week I hate being alone I like the security someone gives me that sometimes my family can't. I like being single when ever I am *rare* and I like freedom not worrying about how someone is "why they aren't calling me, do they have other motives to be with me, is it nothing to them am I pouring to much into this" that's what I hate the constant questions of someone elses feelings and judging my own to be wrong that's what I like being single not worrying about cheating, getting what I want and such. However being in a relationship makes me comfortable just being in someones arms and hugging someone I love or like a lot just feels good.

[Mindy Simmons]

I haven't exactly had many relationships, and honestly, I'm okay with that, and I'm glad that I haven't. I usually find it very difficult to trust guys on that level, and would rather rely on myself for almost everything, and I have friends for any emotional support that I might need. A lot of the time, I've been glad I haven't had to "deal with" having another person around while struggling with my issues and I've been grateful for the space. I've never seen the point in relationships for the sake of relationships and haven't tried for one with a person I didn't really care about.

However, I am in a relationship right now, and I'm glad that I am. I do like the emotional comfort and I like knowing that I have someone around even when things have gotten bad for me, and I like knowing that there's someone in my life that can rely on me too. I enjoy being able to trust a person with everything and I'm glad that I have someone in my life that I really care about. I like knowing that whether I need a bit of space or want that person around, I can have that. I wasn't at all looking for a relationship, but I'm glad that I'm in one now with the person I'm with, it's probably the high point in my life right now.

Plus, I like getting laid. I like hugging and kissing. I like cuddling. I like getting laid. I like having someone to sleep next to. I like getting laid. As it is a long distance relationship, I don't get these things all the time, but knowing that I will get them, and with a person I care about, is very satisfying.

[ ᠎]

The best part about a relationship is love. It is also the worst.

[Lavinia]

^That's pretty deep. I can't say I've ever been in love, and I honestly don't feel sad about that fact. I'm not mentally prepared for that feeling of so called 'love'.

Although I'm not going to lie, the word makes me cringe and when uttered it undoubtedly will make me run for the hills.

However I do miss being able to perv on guys without feeling guilty. D:

I'm going to sound so shallow and like a total bitch.. But I still did that when I was in a relationship. I mean, if a person's attractive then you have to admire them, right? It's just wrong not to.

Being single, I am not expected to make physical contact with anyone. Just the way I like it.

Not to pry or anything.. But that doesn't like he was the right person for you at all. If a guy can't respect that you have certain aversions to things or a little quirk, then ditch him. Of course sometimes people do need to change for the better, but if you feel you have to have physical contact in order to be happy in a relationship then it's just not going to work out. Only ever do it if you're comfortable.

I've never seen the point in relationships for the sake of relationships and haven't tried for one with a person I didn't really care about.

I'm with this. I think you shouldn't constantly need a partner in life, or feel pressured into needing one, but rather delve into a relationship if it's the right time for you mentally and if it feels right.

[Bimp]

Still waiting for my MPDG.

[ArmyofMe]

Plus, I like getting laid. I like hugging and kissing. I like cuddling. I like getting laid. I like having someone to sleep next to. I like getting laid. As it is a long distance relationship, I don't get these things all the time, but knowing that I will get them, and with a person I care about, is very satisfying.

Ya that's pretty awesome too. ;P

[Reflection]

I like the autonomy of being single, not having to plan things around another person... I like being able to go places or see friends and not worry about another person feeling left out, or jealous. Playing music and creating art in large quantities are difficult to achieve if I have to attend another person's needs.
In addition, I don't have to feel obligation unless I choose to in that specific moment, and don't have to worry too much about the backlash.
Many times I enjoy solitude, so being single allows me to be alone as much as I need to, without feeling neglectful.

In relationships I like the support that can happen, having someone to talk to, who I can get to know well, and they can get to know me. I enjoy the companionship it can provide. I also like helping people so I tend to want to do that in relationships. I dislike when people cling to me, however. I can quickly feel suffocated by the proximity. If the other person has poor boundaries this tends to happen even faster, and will often detach emotionally and become apathetic, sometimes to the point of losing respect for the other person. I've been in a couple co-dependent relationships and they don't work for me.
I dislike public displays of affection beyond the fondness one might show for a friend.
I usually do not enjoy "cuddling" or "hand-holding" or really any excessive physical contact. Once in a while, it's fine, but too much of it just annoys the hell out of me.

Those are a few things.

[LionJess]

I haven't exactly had many relationships, and honestly, I'm okay with that, and I'm glad that I haven't.

This, but with the preface of 'serious' relationships. I've had quite a number of casual relationships, flings, etc. And the relationships you have when you're, say, 16 are hardly mature responsible normal relationships, it tends to be basically exclusive friends with benefits. I think people underestimate being single, it's great fun and it's kind of unnecessary to stress over relationships. I don't think you really should be in a relationship if you're say, under 18. Realistically it probably won't last, and I think you'd be better off having fun and figuring out what you want.


All the people saying sex, you can easily go out and get laid regularly, or be friends with benefits, and still be single, so I don't tend to think of that as the best or worst part of a relationship.

Best:
For me, it's having someone who really pushes you in your life. Someone who inspires you, someone who basically pushes you to be a better person. Someone who will watch you get excited over a new wolves documentary and shares that excitement I tend to prefer a serious relationship with someone who you like as a person and would want to be friends with. It's a different kind of comfort you get from a lover. I'm generally a very affectionate and needy person though, intimacy (ie closeness) is often far preferable to sex. Being comfortable enough to lie naked with someone for hours and go between enjoying silence, and alive conversation.


Worst:
I'd have to say opening yourself up to being hurt, or having someone break your trust. Excluding that, I personally think it's kind of difficult to balance everything, especially at first when you tend to want to make a relationship a priority. To be honest though, it very much depends on the relationship. With someone who it truly works with, there's very little bad about it at all. With someone who you just aren't compatible with, or someone who isn't healthy to be around, then what seems like a great relationship has a lot of damaging points.

I have to say though I find it really disgusting when people stay in relationships for the sake of it, just to be in a relationship, or with someone who is just horrible, abusive in any way whatsoever. I lost someone who used to be my best friend to a guy who calls her a nigger cunt and a gypsy. It is beyond me how someone would stay in that kind of relationship. If I wanted to, I could have several different boyfriends. I love being single. I want someone who would I would really WANT to commit to. There are guys like that in my life, unfortunately for various reasons it can't happen. Sadface.

[ ᠎]

Oh, I almost forgot.

Career vs. relationship drama.

[finality]

Being in a relationship is great, but only if it's with the right person. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, and it's no exaggeration to say that he's the person I've been closest to in my life. It's amazing to know that I can always turn to him, I can trust him with anything and I can just be myself around him or tell him anything without feeling self-conscious. We can talk for hours or just lie there in silence and it's never awkward. He has experienced the best and worst of me and it's so wonderful that he accepts me for me, not a version of me, not one side of me. That's something I love about being in a relationship, the acceptance and mutual understanding.

Of course there have been some serious low points in the relationship, we've both cheated on each other at one point (though in his case it's completely excusable and it didn't bother me) and we've broken up twice, but those moments are completely outweighed by how happy the relationship has made me overall. I would put the bad times down to my own personal issues as opposed to innate faults in the relationship itself. And on that note, I think if a relationship is going to work, you have to be relatively happy and comfortable with yourself first. Insecurity and jealousy can obviously destroy a relationship, but beyond that, both people need to have other things in their lives outside the relationship that make them happy. Depending on another person to make you happy can be an absolute disaster.

I'm really young and I've been in a relationship for a very long time (almost one sixth of my life, actually :L ) and there have been times when I really, really wanted to be single, just because I maybe missed out on some experiences due to being in a relationship for such a long time at this age. I broke up with him twice, partly for that reason (although not really the second time), and I realised after about a month that breaking up was a mistake. I missed the closeness, and I missed things about the relationship that I took for granted when I was in it. Being single is fucking fun and I love it (seriously, I really really like being single) but for me it doesn't come close to being in this relationship.

Basically I'd choose being single over any of the other shitty relationships I've had any day (if I can even consider them relationships), but being in a relationship with my closest friend is something I haven't been able to give up. I think if I were to be in a relationship with anyone else I've ever met, it wouldn't last more than a few months. I REALLY like being single and I'm a very difficult person to be in a relationship with.

[Fujoshi Otaku]

Not to pry or anything.. But that doesn't like he was the right person for you at all. If a guy can't respect that you have certain aversions to things or a little quirk, then ditch him. Of course sometimes people do need to change for the better, but if you feel you have to have physical contact in order to be happy in a relationship then it's just not going to work out. Only ever do it if you're comfortable.

XD That's partly why he got dumped. 1) For trying to hug me/touch my legs all the time. (Fricken annoying. ¬_¬) and trying to make me kiss him every five seconds. And 2) For refusing to say anything other than: "I l**e you." And: "Do you think about me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?"

How anyone can be comfortable with any of that is a mystery. XDDD But I guess it's normal since most people are happy with it. :/

*Is just a robot.*

[finality]

XD That's partly why he got dumped. 1) For trying to hug me/touch my legs all the time. (Fricken annoying. ¬_¬) and trying to make me kiss him every five seconds. And 2) For refusing to say anything other than: "I l**e you." And: "Do you think about me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?"

How anyone can be comfortable with any of that is a mystery. XDDD But I guess it's normal since most people are happy with it. :/

*Is just a robot.*

That doesn't sound normal, it sounds really clingy and excessive.

[ ᠎]

*Is just a robot.*

Definitely not the ideal relationship there, bro.

[Lavinia]

XD That's partly why he got dumped. 1) For trying to hug me/touch my legs all the time. (Fricken annoying. ¬_¬) and trying to make me kiss him every five seconds. And 2) For refusing to say anything other than: "I l**e you." And: "Do you think about me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?"

How anyone can be comfortable with any of that is a mystery. XDDD But I guess it's normal since most people are happy with it. :/

*Is just a robot.*

Well, no. That's not the average relationship right there, as finality said, the dude is very clingy. Not all relationships are like that, believe it or not, people do give you space when you ask for it, and they actually listen when they say that you're uncomfortable with certain things. No offence, but you're crazy to think that's what a regular relationship is like. Not all relationships are the same, and you'll gather new experiences from them all, but don't put off men entirely just because one guy you dated was a clingy douche. As much as men piss me off, at times, they're not bad.

Seriously, 'Miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?' Sweet Jesus, how did you put up with it? He must have driven you crazy!