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Single Vs. In A Relationship
#1
Posted 25 June 2012 - 12:02 AM
What, in your opinion, is the best part of being in a relationship? Or what do you miss about being in a relationship, if you're single at the moment? What are the joys of being single? Etc.
Aside from the obvious 'lolol sex' or 'woo I got blowed' ; Intimacy is pretty nice, but aside from that. Like, emotional stuff.
Curious to know, as I'm lying on the couch freezing because it's so cold. I have poor circulation, and I'm always cold, and the thing I miss about being with someone is the free cuddles, and warmth. Of course, I can get that with friends too, but it's different, y'know? I need a Jacob in my life. :3 I also miss special smiles, and random kisses.
However, I do like the freedom of being single. It's not lonely, as people like to dub it. It's merely having your hand in a dessert jar, but not having a specific dessert in mind, you just want to try them all. If that makes sense?
Anyway, none of this makes sense, I can barely see what I'm typing, and I'm still half asleep. Mods feel free to move, edit this if needed or if I made an error.
#2
Posted 25 June 2012 - 12:26 AM
However I do miss being able to perv on guys without feeling guilty. D:
#3
Posted 25 June 2012 - 12:28 AM
Best part of being single : There's no fear of getting hurt.
#4
Posted 25 June 2012 - 12:56 AM
But there was one time when he was hugging me that I just felt oddly relaxed, and could have happily stayed like that for longer. I'm not the kind of person who would want to get used to having someone around to hug all the time, though. I'm too darm stubborn and robot-like. XD
Being single, I am not expected to make physical contact with anyone. Just the way I like it.
#5
Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:53 AM
To quote you: "It's merely having your hand in a dessert jar, but not having a specific dessert in mind, you just want to try them all."
Couples often wonder how you can possibly be happy living on your own, but in my opinion it all depends on how well you are with others.
I don't need people around me 24/7, like to go at my ow pace from time to time, and being single gives you that breathing space.
Yes, it's true that being in a relationship can be great, you can share love etc... but there can be more then just that. Being in a relationship doesn't have to be a goal, as often misunderstood.
Persons in love tend to push (happy) singles to get a lover too (at least that's in my case). It's like you can't even talk to a boy anymore without others giving you looks (the -'Go for it'- kind).
I'm just happy to have my friends around me, boys and girls, without getting too serious.
#6
Posted 25 June 2012 - 05:07 AM
#7
Posted 25 June 2012 - 08:36 AM
#8
Posted 25 June 2012 - 11:38 AM
However, I am in a relationship right now, and I'm glad that I am. I do like the emotional comfort and I like knowing that I have someone around even when things have gotten bad for me, and I like knowing that there's someone in my life that can rely on me too. I enjoy being able to trust a person with everything and I'm glad that I have someone in my life that I really care about. I like knowing that whether I need a bit of space or want that person around, I can have that. I wasn't at all looking for a relationship, but I'm glad that I'm in one now with the person I'm with, it's probably the high point in my life right now.
Plus, I like getting laid. I like hugging and kissing. I like cuddling. I like getting laid. I like having someone to sleep next to. I like getting laid. As it is a long distance relationship, I don't get these things all the time, but knowing that I will get them, and with a person I care about, is very satisfying.
#9
Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:07 PM
#10
Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:44 PM
Although I'm not going to lie, the word makes me cringe and when uttered it undoubtedly will make me run for the hills.
I'm going to sound so shallow and like a total bitch.. But I still did that when I was in a relationship. I mean, if a person's attractive then you have to admire them, right? It's just wrong not to.However I do miss being able to perv on guys without feeling guilty. D:
Not to pry or anything.. But that doesn't like he was the right person for you at all. If a guy can't respect that you have certain aversions to things or a little quirk, then ditch him. Of course sometimes people do need to change for the better, but if you feel you have to have physical contact in order to be happy in a relationship then it's just not going to work out. Only ever do it if you're comfortable.Being single, I am not expected to make physical contact with anyone. Just the way I like it.
I'm with this. I think you shouldn't constantly need a partner in life, or feel pressured into needing one, but rather delve into a relationship if it's the right time for you mentally and if it feels right.I've never seen the point in relationships for the sake of relationships and haven't tried for one with a person I didn't really care about.
#11
Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:58 PM
#12
Posted 25 June 2012 - 09:04 PM
Plus, I like getting laid. I like hugging and kissing. I like cuddling. I like getting laid. I like having someone to sleep next to. I like getting laid. As it is a long distance relationship, I don't get these things all the time, but knowing that I will get them, and with a person I care about, is very satisfying.
Ya that's pretty awesome too. ;P
#13
Posted 26 June 2012 - 12:04 PM
In addition, I don't have to feel obligation unless I choose to in that specific moment, and don't have to worry too much about the backlash.
Many times I enjoy solitude, so being single allows me to be alone as much as I need to, without feeling neglectful.
In relationships I like the support that can happen, having someone to talk to, who I can get to know well, and they can get to know me. I enjoy the companionship it can provide. I also like helping people so I tend to want to do that in relationships. I dislike when people cling to me, however. I can quickly feel suffocated by the proximity. If the other person has poor boundaries this tends to happen even faster, and will often detach emotionally and become apathetic, sometimes to the point of losing respect for the other person. I've been in a couple co-dependent relationships and they don't work for me.
I dislike public displays of affection beyond the fondness one might show for a friend.
I usually do not enjoy "cuddling" or "hand-holding" or really any excessive physical contact. Once in a while, it's fine, but too much of it just annoys the hell out of me.
Those are a few things.
#14
Posted 27 June 2012 - 02:29 PM
Career vs. relationship drama.
#15
Posted 27 June 2012 - 03:51 PM
Of course there have been some serious low points in the relationship, we've both cheated on each other at one point (though in his case it's completely excusable and it didn't bother me) and we've broken up twice, but those moments are completely outweighed by how happy the relationship has made me overall. I would put the bad times down to my own personal issues as opposed to innate faults in the relationship itself. And on that note, I think if a relationship is going to work, you have to be relatively happy and comfortable with yourself first. Insecurity and jealousy can obviously destroy a relationship, but beyond that, both people need to have other things in their lives outside the relationship that make them happy. Depending on another person to make you happy can be an absolute disaster.
I'm really young and I've been in a relationship for a very long time (almost one sixth of my life, actually :L ) and there have been times when I really, really wanted to be single, just because I maybe missed out on some experiences due to being in a relationship for such a long time at this age. I broke up with him twice, partly for that reason (although not really the second time), and I realised after about a month that breaking up was a mistake. I missed the closeness, and I missed things about the relationship that I took for granted when I was in it. Being single is fucking fun and I love it (seriously, I really really like being single) but for me it doesn't come close to being in this relationship.
Basically I'd choose being single over any of the other shitty relationships I've had any day (if I can even consider them relationships), but being in a relationship with my closest friend is something I haven't been able to give up. I think if I were to be in a relationship with anyone else I've ever met, it wouldn't last more than a few months. I REALLY like being single and I'm a very difficult person to be in a relationship with.
#16
Posted 27 June 2012 - 09:08 PM
Not to pry or anything.. But that doesn't like he was the right person for you at all. If a guy can't respect that you have certain aversions to things or a little quirk, then ditch him. Of course sometimes people do need to change for the better, but if you feel you have to have physical contact in order to be happy in a relationship then it's just not going to work out. Only ever do it if you're comfortable.
XD That's partly why he got dumped. 1) For trying to hug me/touch my legs all the time. (Fricken annoying. ¬_¬) and trying to make me kiss him every five seconds. And 2) For refusing to say anything other than: "I l**e you." And: "Do you think about me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?"
How anyone can be comfortable with any of that is a mystery. XDDD But I guess it's normal since most people are happy with it. :/
*Is just a robot.*
#17
Posted 27 June 2012 - 09:31 PM
That doesn't sound normal, it sounds really clingy and excessive.XD That's partly why he got dumped. 1) For trying to hug me/touch my legs all the time. (Fricken annoying. ¬_¬) and trying to make me kiss him every five seconds. And 2) For refusing to say anything other than: "I l**e you." And: "Do you think about me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?"
How anyone can be comfortable with any of that is a mystery. XDDD But I guess it's normal since most people are happy with it. :/
*Is just a robot.*
#18
Posted 28 June 2012 - 01:00 AM
*Is just a robot.*
Definitely not the ideal relationship there, bro.
#19
Posted 28 June 2012 - 06:54 AM
Well, no. That's not the average relationship right there, as finality said, the dude is very clingy. Not all relationships are like that, believe it or not, people do give you space when you ask for it, and they actually listen when they say that you're uncomfortable with certain things. No offence, but you're crazy to think that's what a regular relationship is like. Not all relationships are the same, and you'll gather new experiences from them all, but don't put off men entirely just because one guy you dated was a clingy douche. As much as men piss me off, at times, they're not bad.XD That's partly why he got dumped. 1) For trying to hug me/touch my legs all the time. (Fricken annoying. ¬_¬) and trying to make me kiss him every five seconds. And 2) For refusing to say anything other than: "I l**e you." And: "Do you think about me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?"
How anyone can be comfortable with any of that is a mystery. XDDD But I guess it's normal since most people are happy with it. :/
*Is just a robot.*
Seriously, 'Miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?' Sweet Jesus, how did you put up with it? He must have driven you crazy!
#20
Posted 28 June 2012 - 07:38 AM
XD That's partly why he got dumped. 1) For trying to hug me/touch my legs all the time. (Fricken annoying. ¬_¬) and trying to make me kiss him every five seconds. And 2) For refusing to say anything other than: "I l**e you." And: "Do you think about me? Are you thinking about me? Do you miss me when I'm gone for two seconds?"
How anyone can be comfortable with any of that is a mystery. XDDD But I guess it's normal since most people are happy with it. :/
*Is just a robot.*
First off, you're making a general statement. Second of all, you're equating this one guy to every guy, in which you're dead wrong for doing so. Each guy is different. This guy does seem to be too much. I know with my girlfriend if I need the space, I will get it, and I give her space when she needs it. We're pretty good with telling each other when something is uncomfortable. I would never do something she didn't like. She would never do something I didn't like. I honestly don't know why you'd think that was normal. And he seems douchey. I could never deal with someone who'd get upset because I was gone 5 seconds. Holy shit!
I do like the intimacy a lot. I enjoy being touched, kissed, and hugged. I like when someone sleeps next to me. I like being held. I like having sex. Though since I am in a long distance relationship, I do not get these things all the time. Because it's with someone I absolutely adore and I know I am going to get these things, I appreciate these things a whole lot more. It's quite satisfying.
This relationship just happened. We both didn't plan on being in one. With that said, I'm quite happy with it. I like having the emotional comfort. I like having the support. I know she'll be there for me, and I'll be there for her, during the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can trust her with everything. She can trust me with everything. I know I care an awful lot about her. She cares an awful lot about me. We have a lot in common, yet we challenge each other to discover new things. We push and motivate one another to make strides in other parts of our life. Sure, it gets difficult at times, but we're all human. We all have issues, but it's nice knowing the person I'm with won't run when I tell them things. I'm probably the happiest I've been in a long time, and because of this, other things in my life have gotten better too.
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