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Your One-Side Love Exceptions

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#1
Corbeaux

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You all know this story.

You felt in love with your crush. Became closer to her/him and finally made your declaration. And she/he turned you down.

Your friends: "Get over it, she/he wasn't the right one. You will find someone else, their are plenty of others..."
You think: "What a bench of morons, how can i live in this world anymore, she/he was the one. I will never fell in love for the rest in my life... blablabla (drama power 100%) "
Still hoping she/he will change her/his mind because, you know, in movies it does.

When finally after some time you got over it. Found out your friends where right. Didn't understand how you could have lost your time with such insignificant person. And have a crush on someone else.



This is how it usually goes. Tell me your stories if yours turned out differently. ;)
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#2
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Had a crush on someone, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We went out for three years.
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#3
Innocence

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Had a crush on someone, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We went out for three years.

Same, but instead if him asking, things went with the flow and we just considered ourselves to be together.

But eh, now I'm single.
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#4
Crispin

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This is how it usually goes. Tell me your stories if yours turned out differently. ;)

That is incredibly depressing. Learning from your past experiences is a great thing, how can you go through life and not experience something that made you think 'ah, I felt that at one point, it was a mistake but I learnt.' I just don't think that makes you a relatable person if you don't experience it at least once.

I always found it weird that we all have this exact image of our perfect guy/girl and in reality it's nothing like that. I mean, you can come close to a representation of your fabricated dream man, but he's likely not going to be as perfect as you want, and that's okay. But then there's the realisation of you not being your dream persons ideal.

If that makes any sense. I figured this out when I was young and pining over Prince Eric, as I still do, that he's my dream guy.. but I'm likely not to be his. This is where heartbreak and the like unravel and you just have to make do with normal, real people and not just people you dream up due to influence of media and literature. Since then, I've been 'meh' about everything really, considering I just compare everyone to Prince Eric and Christian Bale - I'll likely end up lonely with 60 cats.

None of that is relevant, but I had to share. :3
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#5
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Oooh an ugg sale!! Tell me more bot (:
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#6
TheyKilledAlice

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I always found it weird that we all have this exact image of our perfect guy/girl and in reality it's nothing like that. I mean, you can come close to a representation of your fabricated dream man, but he's likely not going to be as perfect as you want, and that's okay. But then there's the realisation of you not being your dream persons ideal.


That's exactly my problem. Also, I have this image of my ideal partner and it's even harder to realise such a person doesn't exist in this world.
I've had a few crushes before, but always came to the conclusion I was perfectly happy without them too.

I'll likely end up lonely with 60 cats.

That's why this seems to be my fate :P But I adore cats, so it's all right, I guess.
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#7
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But I adore cats, so it's all right, I guess.

As do I, but I'm sadly allergic to fur. I can only appreciate their adorableness from afar.
:/
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#8
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I fell in love with my crush, and her with me. I left her after a year and a half. End of story.
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#9
Corbeaux

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That is incredibly depressing. Learning from your past experiences is a great thing, how can you go through life and not experience something that made you think 'ah, I felt that at one point, it was a mistake but I learnt.' I just don't think that makes you a relatable person if you don't experience it at least once.


I should have specified. I meant in the case of a one-side love story like my exemple.

I always found it weird that we all have this exact image of our perfect guy/girl and in reality it's nothing like that. I mean, you can come close to a representation of your fabricated dream man, but he's likely not going to be as perfect as you want, and that's okay. But then there's the realisation of you not being your dream persons ideal.


It is not my case. I think perfect= boring. I don't have this "ideal perfect man" reference in my head. As I could not have a crush on for example a famous actor (obviously I can find some are physicaly hot ^^)
But to be really attracted I have to meet the guy and find out who he really is. What's the one detail that makes him just him.
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#10
Steve 

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I have no one sided love stories ever. They love me back, they have to.
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#11
Corbeaux

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One sided love story? Hmmm.

Falling for my best friend at the time. God, I would've been about 16. It worked, ish, for a while. But then it didn't, because there's no way we could realistically be in a relationship and be happy together. We only realistically stopped seeing each other entirely when I was about 19.

Most recent was with one of my closest friends now. We've only relatively recently entirely put it to rest, to be honest.... so about a year and a half of us hmmming about what to do. We were dating for a number of months before we stopped because he didn't want to commit to a relationship and I didn't want to waste my time. But of course, a little while later and it was the same shit all over again. Eventually you just get to a point where no matter how utterly crazy you are about someone, you're either going to be with them or you're not - and I got sick of wondering when that point would be. It's a pity, because it would have been a great relationship, but oh well, he's a really good friend now and it's such a relief to have it finally labelled as 100% over. :)


Thank you for your stories. It wouldn't have been easy but I understand.
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#12
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Actually I just had a girl tell me she loved me, but I don't love her yet.

That count?
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#13
TheyKilledAlice

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As do I, but I'm sadly allergic to fur. I can only appreciate their adorableness from afar.
:/


I know how you feel, my mom has the same problem :/ So I had to live with goldfish instead of a dog/cat/...
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#14
Algernon

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I have never been in a situation where I was infatuated with someone, but they didn’t feel the same way about me. It would not be an enviable position to be in so I’m quite happy I have been spared that feeling.

The other way around happened once. Afterwards (and when I think back now as well) I considered myself a huge asshole because I took advantage of it. It was a period when I was dealing with various problems, and she was ‘madly in love’ with me (her own words) and would do anything for me. That combination of factors was enticing. We got into a sort of relationship because that would ensure she’d remain happy and do things for me. Needless to say, it only lasted several weeks. Whenever I think back of her, I cringe and chastise myself.
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#15
Chica

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It happened to me all the time at school. No guy I liked liked me back. Well...I think one may have done, but he was one of my best friends. We're like brother and sister now, and I'm so glad nothing happened to change that.
There was...IS one guy, though. I don't believe in love at first sight, but I somehow ended up liking him from the moment I met him. He turned me down once...I can't remember if it was more than once, but definitely once, and I accepted it. We were the best of friends, and I only had one small incident of jealousy when he started going out with another one of my best friends. Then I decided I was happy with it, and happy with just being able to see him, and knowing he didn't hate me because of how I felt about him.
I didn't see him for three whole years since I moved here, and that whole time, he had a girlfriend. (Not the one who was one of my best friends.) I started seeing him again very recently...About five times now in the past few months, and my feelings all came rushing back. He doesn't have a girlfriend any more, but apparently she wants him back...I don't blame her. I think...I love him. Well that's the only explanation for going three years without seeing someone, and still feeling the same way you felt about them seven years ago, right?
Sometimes I think, I wish he would like me back, and sometimes I feel that it might happen one day...We get along REALLY well. We have the same interests, and both love to talk about those interests endlessly, so we can have a conversation that lasts hours, forgetting everyone else is around. One time everyone else had to leave us in town because we were talking and didn't want to go home. XD That night, he missed his bus just to make sure I got safely on mine, and texted me telling me to tell him when I got home.
And the last time....Well. I had a boyfriend for a while, recently, but I didn't really like it. I hated how the guy always tried to hug and kiss me, and it felt really disgusting. However, the last time I was out with my friends, I did everything I had done with my boyfriend, with the guy I love...Wow that sounds wrong...I will explain, lol. He hugs me, like when we're saying goodbye and stuff. And we all had a big group hug. And then everyone started kissing everyone on the forehead, and I was drunk so I thought...*Shrug.* I kissed him on the forehead, and he kissed me on the forehead. We were in a very crowded place, so he kept guiding me through the crowd so I didn't get squashed, and we ended up holding hands. <<<<That's basically all I did with my boyfriend, except that guy made me kiss him on the mouth. But I didn't feel disgusting when it was him. I just allowed it all, and it felt really natural.

I know he just sees me as a friend, though. -.- And I'm perfectly fine with it, I am. As long as I get to see him and be a part of his life, no matter how small. I know for a fact that I will never like/go out with anyone else, and I don't care if I end up alone. Because he is that perfect guy everyone dreams about.
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#16
Corbeaux

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I know he just sees me as a friend, though. -.- And I'm perfectly fine with it, I am. As long as I get to see him and be a part of his life, no matter how small. I know for a fact that I will never like/go out with anyone else, and I don't care if I end up alone. Because he is that perfect guy everyone dreams about.


Would you still love him if he would fallen for you too? I know it would seem like the best day of your life now. But still, I wonder if there isn't a big part of the "because he is out of reach" component in our feelings. I speek in general way.
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#17
Chica

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Would you still love him if he would fallen for you too? I know it would seem like the best day of your life now. But still, I wonder if there isn't a big part of the "because he is out of reach" component in our feelings. I speek in general way.



No, I would still love him. Sometimes I get a little scared of what would happen if he liked me back, like if it ruined our friendship because I ended up being a disappointment. I hear all couples argue, and it terrifies me that if he liked me back, we'd end up arguing inevitably in the future. And it also terrifies me that couples who love each other...go further than kissing. So sometimes I do think it is better that it is a one sided thing.
But on the other hand, when I see him, or hear from him on the internet/through text, I believe I could get over all that stuff and just be really really happy with him. Like last night, I found that he had sent me a message just after I posted on here, and I was REALLY stupidly happy almost to the point of tears for at least an hour afterwards....And I do not cry. I feel that even feeling like wanting to cry is a sign of weakness.
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#18
Corbeaux

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No, I would still love him. Sometimes I get a little scared of what would happen if he liked me back, like if it ruined our friendship because I ended up being a disappointment. I hear all couples argue, and it terrifies me that if he liked me back, we'd end up arguing inevitably in the future. And it also terrifies me that couples who love each other...go further than kissing. So sometimes I do think it is better that it is a one sided thing.

But on the other hand, when I see him, or hear from him on the internet/through text, I believe I could get over all that stuff and just be really really happy with him. Like last night, I found that he had sent me a message just after I posted on here, and I was REALLY stupidly happy almost to the point of tears for at least an hour afterwards....And I do not cry. I feel that even feeling like wanting to cry is a sign of weakness.


Well, don't be to hard on yourself. It is ok to feel happy for that. ^^ But don't worry about thinks which aren't there yet. Everything in time. Carpe diem!
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#19
Chica

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It really drives me insane when people say stuff like this. We all have said it at some time or other, usually in the throes of hormonal, unrequired love angst and hopefully before the age of 15... but it's just such a ridiculous thing to say. I sincerely doubt in 5 years time, never mind 50 years time that anyone who has made such a claim will still be saying that, and it's certainly not something they can promise now, urgh.


That sort of air of utter dependency on men that girls have been experiencing lately is so hateful, the likes of Twilight and 50 shades of grey have done nothing but glamourise it. It's an insult to any sort of loving relationship, and quite insulting to women too.


That line was taken in completely the wrong way. -.-U Anything I say now will sound like an excuse so I cba explaining what I really meant.
I just don't want to be compared to 12 year old Twihards waiting for their Mary Sue prince charming, or any of that puke.
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#20
Chica

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Perhaps it's me reading it wrong, but there seems to be a sort of vibe of 'I will do anything to keep this perfect man in my life, even if he just wants to be friends I'm so lucky he'll even deign to talk to me because I'm that lucky to have him in my life even just as friends'... don't get me wrong, you're not the only girl who thinks that way if you do, hell it might even annoy me because I was a little like that too once, but it's just... you kind of want to shake someone when they're speaking like that.

Really, everyone should be with someone who respects them and wants to talk to them as an equal. There's a ridiculous ever-growing culture of women just... being ridiculously over dependent on guys, and it's sickening - I don't think many men would disagree with me either. I'm not even a raging feminist :P I suppose it's what tends to happen sometimes in these sort of one sided love stories, people can end up utterly idolising their crushes in a way that just turns a normal person into some sort of godly angel.



Oh...maybe you were half right, then, about the 'feeling lucky'. But I am a raging feminist. So being compared to people who do rely on men for everything, even glorify the idea of being damsels in distress, etc. etc. etc. felt really horrible.
-.- Right. It's just pathetic when women will do ANYTHING a guy says, even wear what they're told to, etc. etc. And everyone has probably idolized someone like that in their life. But like you said, hopefully when they were like 12-14.
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