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Proud Of Your Virginity?

- - - - - virgin sexuality sex First time never had sex

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#21
Mindy Simmons

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I don't know if anyone else really experienced this, but when it came to peer pressure, etc, I found that the older I got, the less I was feeling pressured. When I was a lot younger, there were people that weren't virgins that I knew who would make everyone feel like shit if they hadn't had sex too. As I got older, this stopped happening, people no longer really thought it made a difference. By the time I was eighteen (the year I lost my virginity), I had people tell me it was awesome. My aunt (who is only a few years older than I am and we used to be pretty good friends) would brag to anyone we were hanging out with that I hadn't had sex and people would high five me. I personally found it weird. :lol:

 

Anyway, as a virgin, I never really cared about waiting until marriage. I don't need a ceremony in order to have sex. :lol: I mostly just wanted it to be with someone that I cared about, trusted, and was attracted to. There wasn't really anyone I was interested in having sex with for a long time by the time I was actually interested in having sex. As I said, I lost my virginity when I was eighteen. I never felt like it was a bad idea to have sex at that time, as if it were too soon or too late. I was glad that I hadn't had it when I was young, but I definitely wasn't in a position where I wanted to wait anymore. I was into the guy and wanted sex. I don't feel like having sex changed my perspectives on sex at all. I didn't really "care" that I was a virgin, and I don't really care that I'm not one now, but I've also never felt as if it would be a good idea to just fuck anyone, I'm just as likely to enter a new sexual relationship now as I was when I was a virgin.


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#22
meetodafreako

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^this explains it quite well.


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#23
Chip

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People more often than not decide to give theirs to one they believe they love at the time, then things go south and they end things and regret everything. But then again, those who wait until after marrige are less experienced and may not be sexually compatible with their signifigant other. Face it, in this generation, relationships NEED sex. If you guys don't connect in the bedroom, it's hard to wanna spend the rest of y'alls life together. I personally believe you should do what you think is right.


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#24
Insane Pie

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People more often than not decide to give theirs to one they believe they love at the time, then things go south and they end things and regret everything. But then again, those who wait until after marrige are less experienced and may not be sexually compatible with their signifigant other. Face it, in this generation, relationships NEED sex. If you guys don't connect in the bedroom, it's hard to wanna spend the rest of y'alls life together. I personally believe you should do what you think is right.

 

This.


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#25
Existentialism

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Are you proud of being a virgin?

 

In a time when sex is so prevalent, it's easy to lose one's virginity, but let's try thinking of it the other way. Isn't it good to remain a virgin until you're with the person you think you will marry? It's something to be proud of these days in my opinion.

 

I'm a virgin. I used to think about having sex with someone a lot. I could have a few times. but I don't think about it so much anymore. I want it to mean something, not just something I do because it feels good. Faith had alot to do with it for me. I won't bring faith into this, but I was born a christian, then stopped being christian and lived without God, then studied Islam and almost embraced it, then I truly became a christian. I say this about faith to show that I'm not just a "bible thumper" here. I've had my share of time without God so to say. I choose to be a virgin until the right time regardless of my faith.

 

Are you proud of being a virgin? How do you feel about it? Let's try to leave faith out of it.

 

 

I never liked the term "proud" in terms of sexuality. Proud of being a virgin? Proud of being gay or bisexual? Proud of being ___ ethnicity? Not something I recognize as relating soley to those labels. Proud of the obstacles you've overcome because you are LGBT or a virgin? Sure. It really depend on the reasons you have for being a virgin. If you have passed up many chances of having sex and it took you a significant amount of self-control, then yes be very proud. If you've endured physical violence or verbal abuse for being yourself, then have the upmost pride that you've overcome it. But to be proud of circumstances such as personal views and factors of birth? You have no reason to be so.

 

It is hard to be a virgin in a society which often impresses and even values sex in such a postive way, so to not conform to the expectations of sex is something to be proud of. I am a virgin, but I wouldn't say I'm proud of it. I haven't had enough experience to have the chance of losing my virginity as I will only do so with some one I love or at least have strong feelings for. Sure, I've had a few chances, but I really don't see a point in doing so without emotion involved. I know it won't be as enjoyable. For others, meaningless sex likely is enjoyable, but sex with emotion is the best kind for anyone. Many young people don't understand that until they are older. I wouldn't say I'll never have meaningless sex, but for now, I'd rather wait until I find some one I deem worthy of becoming that vulnerable and giving that much of myself for.


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#26
Okano

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People more often than not decide to give theirs to one they believe they love at the time, then things go south and they end things and regret everything. But then again, those who wait until after marrige are less experienced and may not be sexually compatible with their signifigant other. Face it, in this generation, relationships NEED sex. If you guys don't connect in the bedroom, it's hard to wanna spend the rest of y'alls life together. I personally believe you should do what you think is right.

 

If you love someone enough to marry that person, you and the person you love are supposed to grow in your love. Sex will get better. Of course it wouldn't be amazing at first. I would and have talked about sex with the person I was with. To learn about each others desires. Communication is important. Growing in love is important and I think sex can only get better if the couple doesn't expect everything to be like sex is portrayed in pornographies. That's unrealistic.


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#27
Chip

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If you love someone enough to marry that person, you and the person you love are supposed to grow in your love. Sex will get better. Of course it wouldn't be amazing at first. I would and have talked about sex with the person I was with. To learn about each others desires. Communication is important. Growing in love is important and I think sex can only get better if the couple doesn't expect everything to be like sex is portrayed in pornographies. That's unrealistic.

Well, yeah, but you can't live in a marrige where you grimace at the thought of your dearly beloved's touch. That's just assinine. Maybe that is a fairy-tale ending, but here in the real world, marriges end over a lot less than differences in the bedroom. It's best to ride the horse before you buy it, you never know when you'll get a naive filly or a standoffish mare. And even if it isn't the best the first time, you can always learn together or TRY to make the sex better, rather than loathe their touch for forever. And I said nothing about pornos, but thanks for the imput.


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#28
meetodafreako

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You are taking that the wrong way.

Marriage isn't a car purchase.
It's pretty much like choosing a knee-replacement. You don't have to test-drive that shit, I mean you could if you want, but you'll be with it for the rest of your days regardless.


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#29
Chip

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You are taking that the wrong way.

Marriage isn't a car purchase.
It's pretty much like choosing a knee-replacement. You don't have to test-drive that shit, I mean you could if you want, but you'll be with it for the rest of your days regardless.

I guess that metaphor didn't help me explain as well as I hoped. Yeah, I know sex isn't everything within a marrige/relationship, but it is still a BIG part of it. To have a successful union, you must be compatible in all ways. I believe that you just have to be sexually compatible to make a relationship work.


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#30
meetodafreako

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It's really not that big of a deal, honestly.


I admire those who want to save themselves, and quite honestly virgins *are* more attractive than non-virgins. I have no idea why, but for most guys and most girls, they are.
It's an admirable trait.
But if someone wants to save themselves for being married to someone who loves them and they too love, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
They want to spend the rest of their lives with the other, and the other with them. If having mediocre sex is a big enough factor to break a deal for one party, then they should not even be married. If it is enough of a question that they should at least test the waters with the other person before being married, and the person wants to save themselves for marriage, they can still keep the clothes mostly on.

I'm pretty much saying that if someone thinks that mediocre sex with someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with, is enough to break the deal for, then that person needs to re-evaluate their priorities.


But here is me being a hopeless romantic. c:
even when it doesn't apply to me.
The above explained my view better than the knee-replacement picture, haha.


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#31
Chip

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I guess we just have different outviews. And you're right, it's not a big deal. My apologies if my posts made it seem like I was making a fuss, that wasn't my intention. And who is Rosie Palms?


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#32
Ross Walton

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Yes im a virgin and yes im 16, bu i also believe in true love so im going to wait for that special person, so all those people that say its ''uncool'' not to have sex your wrong because ill be the one with the love of my life and you will have aids :P


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#33
Innocence

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Wow, does that mean I have aids? :( 


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#34
Insane Pie

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AIDS are my favorite. :3


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#35
Crispin

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That is disturbing on so many levels. ^ 

 

:L


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#36
Insane Pie

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That is what I was going for. :lol:


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#37
Crispin

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You achieved it! You should change your username to 'Disturbing Pie'. Creepy shit. 


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#38
Innocence

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AIDS are my favorite. :3

 

Someone's got some explaining to do.


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#39
Ross Walton

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im jokin xox i just dont like people that have sex with lots of others, it should be between partners not just do everyone you can :3


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#40
finality

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I guess that metaphor didn't help me explain as well as I hoped. Yeah, I know sex isn't everything within a marrige/relationship, but it is still a BIG part of it. To have a successful union, you must be compatible in all ways. I believe that you just have to be sexually compatible to make a relationship work.


I don't know if I really believe in people just being "sexually incompatible", and that's the end of the story. I think sexual incompatibility has an underlying cause, like one or both partners not actually being attracted to the other, or a lack of communication, or people being uncomfortable with sex or with their body, or just inexperience. Most of these things can be ironed out with time and practise. Yeah, sex isn't generally going to be great the first time, but with mutual love, trust, communication and attraction, I think the majority of people could eventually have good sex.
I don't think waiting to have sex til marriage is really a good thing, and it's definitely not for me, but I would disagree with the idea of a "test drive" being absolutely necessary. :lol:
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