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Being Accused Of Cheating...?


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#1
DarkParadise

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Do any girls have this issue, when everything in the relationship is completely and utterly perfect, you both love each other so much and  *Boom* honey moon phase is over. I've been with this guy now for 4 or so years this guy knows all about my history and I told him everything from start to finish and he the same thing.

 

I get overly sensitive when being accused of cheating and just to make it clear I did not. In fact I do not like the idea of cheating on anyone unless they cheat on you and then the relationship to me is pretty much dead. I think its just disrespect to the person and plus my mom's on and off again boyfriend always, constantly accuses her of cheating to the point where she corrects her own behavior now with everyone.

 

Well I got mad since I have a slow temper and until it hits me sharply I don't think about it. He said "I thought you where cheating on me and I got so worried I had an anxiety attack" . Okay I have been nothing but faithful and loyal if I go out with someone to the bar or hang out with people I tell him right away so there is no confusion about it later on. (I am super paranoid of what happened to my mom will happen to me) so I kind of sent him a mini nasty message once my temper registered.

 

"I've been nothing but faithful to you and ask anyone I do not do that, I think cheating is wrong and I thought you trusted me and that's showing you do not really trust me at all and I'm allowed to hang out with whoever I want without thinking, that you may just think I'm out there banging other dudes".

 

So on and so on.

 

I was just wondering if any ladies on here or even men where accused of cheating on their significant other and did not and how'd it make you feel, did I take the right approach because I was mad I think I was a little over the top and I don't know how to delete it (oops). Do you think unless there is significant proof a healthy relationship should even have those issues?

 

 

 

  


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#2
Insane Pie

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Normal fonts help.


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#3
DarkParadise

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Normal fonts help.

They are really boring though.


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#4
Insane Pie

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They are easier to read though.


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#5
DarkParadise

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purple is a pretty dark color though.


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#6
Insane Pie

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So is black.


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#7
Lightning.

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Post normally. You're coming across as a bit of an arse. I'm not taking you seriously.

Gawd I wish I had mod powers in this section.
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#8
DarkParadise

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So anyone else had this issue before?


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#9
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Yes. It's not nice. I also said the same things as you did.
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#10
DarkParadise

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Yes. It's not nice. I also said the same things as you did.

It really is not, especially when he says he trusts you then says something dry like that. Really ruins the connection you had.


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#11
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He is very insecure, it's not a good thing. If he can't fully trust you then it's not worth it. You've invested a lot into your relationship and you've been completely faithful and he still doesn't trust you then I'm sorry but it won't work out.
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#12
DarkParadise

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He is very insecure, it's not a good thing. If he can't fully trust you then it's not worth it. You've invested a lot into your relationship and you've been completely faithful and he still doesn't trust you then I'm sorry but it won't work out.

 This stuff always ruins relationships, maybe he says it only once and let's it go but you know its still at the back of their mind especially when they ask you certain questions about it and I already know this but I really don't want to let it go I'll see what he says if he says something I can live with I'll stay and if I don't then I'll probably look else where.


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#13
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I don't understand why you are just asking for the side that you are on, as a guy i have been paranoid before about my long time girlfriend. it can be hard for a guy especially if he thinks his girlfriend is alot more attractive than he is.

 

My advice would be you don't want to throw away 4 years of a relationship because of a bad batch. Just say to him one last time i am never going to cheat on you. also complement him say he looks good n that you fine him attractive. My girlfriend didn't do that for a long time and it got me down because i felt she didn't care and was just looking for something better, but once she did my worries stopped and we started to have a great time again and everything was how it should be. :)

 

Hope this helps in some way from a guy who has been and the worried side in the past.

 

ps that was in our 1st year of our relationship and we have been together alot longer now :) 


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#14
DarkParadise

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I don't understand why you are just asking for the side that you are on, as a guy i have been paranoid before about my long time girlfriend. it can be hard for a guy especially if he thinks his girlfriend is alot more attractive than he is.

 

My advice would be you don't want to throw away 4 years of a relationship because of a bad batch. Just say to him one last time i am never going to cheat on you. also complement him say he looks good n that you fine him attractive. My girlfriend didn't do that for a long time and it got me down because i felt she didn't care and was just looking for something better, but once she did my worries stopped and we started to have a great time again and everything was how it should be. :)

 

Hope this helps in some way from a guy who has been and the worried side in the past.

 

ps that was in our 1st year of our relationship and we have been together alot longer now :)

 

However I do that often, I'm not the romantic type so I can't recite poetry.

 

I tell him he makes me feel safe, I'm happy to have him to be there, I appreciate what he does, I love his endless talking and other things.  I always tell him he is the only guy for me. So its not like I'm not saying enough to show I'm still interested and I am interested I'm just a little bothered by this cause it did happen to my mom and they both really, really love each other but he keeps accusing her of cheating to the point there is no relationship anymore because despite them always being in love with one another because he brings up needless things it ends up terminating the relationship.

 

We are in a long-distance relationship every month I go see him for two or a few weeks and it did not start that way and I have security in how I can trust him but now he says something like that it really throws a wrench in plans. 

I know him and he will not cheat on me


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#15
Okano

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Is he bored and just wants to stir up some trouble just to see what happens? I don't know I'm just throwing that out there. I confess I did that with my first gf who I was with for 3 1/2 years. I was stupid and immature and I got bored so I stirred up trouble for no reason whatsoever. So stupid. I'm not sure, try asking him and see what he says?

 

But no I haven't been accused. I did accuse my girl at the time of cheating for no fucking good reason :/ . What an ass I was.

I don't think a healthy relationship should have those issues unless there is significant proof.

 

I've read somewhere that when a guy asks if a girl is cheating on him, it can sometimes be out of guilt because he is or was cheating himself. And he's thinking if you say yes you did cheat then he won't feel guilty. This isn't likely for you I'm assuming, but maybe it's worth thinking about.


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#16
Innocence

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Cheating on my side has never happened in any relationship I've been in, not even out of spite if I was the one being cheated on. What's the satisfaction of getting with another person just to piss off your partner? You're degrading yourself and making a fool out of the situation, instead of being more mature about it and taking more common sense decisions. I'm not exactly implying that you do so but that's how I feel about it. 

 

Moving along.

 

Character-wise, I don't have a really clear idea of how he is. It could be that you don't inspire enough trust in him to actually feel okay with you being among other men, or just casually going out without letting him know. His trust issues must have fundament somewhere, I don't think he'd be feeling that way out of the blue - since you said everything was going all fine and dandy, then reality broke through. 

 

Instead of sending that childish text to him in the heat of the moment, you should've sat down and actually talked about the problem thoroughly and see what was going on inside. And obviously what you wrote him won't make him feel any better or instill more trust towards you from his side, especially if you did that through text (damn if I despise that kind of thing).


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#17
DarkParadise

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We worked it out. Talked it over and I appologised for the way I sounded he was just worried about me and I came off as a bit bitchy the other day and he thought we might break up but he is so understanding and I am too and he told me pretty much he is obsessed with me and was sorry he told me that :) I apologised to are fights are very short.

 

Anyways thanks for you guys help.


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#18
RunningWithWolves

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It really should go back to the olden days when cheats were clearly caught they were made to do the walk of shame around the village and everyone throw rotten tomatos at them.


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