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I Think I'm Going Mad.

Psychosis Hallucinations Depression Life

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20 replies to this topic

#1
colt129

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I am 15, live in California(United States), and people say I'm very very strange. I'm probably the most negative, pessimistic person you'll ever meet. I hate beaches. If there is one area of any place on Earth that pisses me off, it's beaches. I love deserts. They're big and expansive, and... This may sound a little strange, but, they're sane. Sane as sane can be. This is what I mean! Shit like everything you just read is why people question my mental stability. I'm perfectly stable in the head, but people think the way I perceive is weird. Why are you even reading this? Bored? Depressed? Evil? Anyways, lets get to the point of this post. Ever since I was 8, I've been seeing these colorful outlines of those around me. They tend to be very faint and transparent, but I know they're there. I see them. Back then, I was afraid. What would people have thought? I still don't get it. I have all these religious nutbags telling me that I am gifted. I doubt it. Apparently, these colors correspond to ones thoughts and feelings. I know what your thinking. Cool, it would be awesome if I could do that!. It's quite confusing. Only the strong survive in a place like... a desert. Beaches are for the weak, the corruptible, the unloyal. Where they can be lax and sedated. But deserts. Everyone thinks that deserts are so bad because everything dies in a desert. Do they not see the thriving ecosystem? Do they not see that the desert is truly flourishing, just like everywhere else? I feel that my mind exploded into this post XD. My dad is a weed dealer. He has "underground connections". I live with my grandparents. In the city. Cities are very nice. I don't get why everyone is so afraid of crime. I'm completely comfortable with crime, or just criminals in general. About the colors thing, what do you think I should do with it? Ignore it? Use it? Exploit it? I wrote a crazy insane letter to a chick I really like. I had a dream about her. Many, In fact. I haven't summed the courage to give it to her. Even anonymously. I don't know why. I usually have no fear for my self or others. I don't care. She has Teal and Purple colors. Everyone at school usually has an evil looking red with an egotistical orange. Some of the more depressed people have Blue and Black colors. Like, Cobalt blue. And anxious people have light Grey-Blue. I have Green and Black. Energetic zippy green, and empty void black. It's wierd, because I'm one of the laziest people on Earth. People say I'm lucky to be in a rich country, because kids in Africa are dying. But... not to be a dick or anything, why should I care? I'm not a kid in Africa. You say they could eat my scraps of food? How... dignifying*sarcasm*. That sucks for them, but I'm not them. So... why should I eat a rotten piece of fruit? Because an African child could eat it? It doesn't make any sense. People say my philosophy is fucked up, when they themselves have almost no philosophical understanding. People say I'm very complex. And that simplicity is good. Why? Because simplicity is easy to comprehend? Because it requires no skill at all to infer something simple? I don't know? I really dig emo chicks. There's just something about them that's just so... attractive, infatuating, magnetic. Whatever word works for it. I don't care. They're just... fascinating. I love to converse with them on philosophy. I don't get it. I feel that I'm just spurting random mental gibberish at this point, so I'll stop here. Am I strange to you guys?


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#2
Innocence

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Nope, pretty normal to me.


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#3
Insane Pie

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I live in the desert, I dislike it.


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#4
Algernon

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You're a very average teenager. You'll grow out of it, and then look back and think, 'Man, I was so full of shit.'


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#5
colt129

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Interesting idea. But instead of abandoning one's level of maturity, why not keep it? Why grow out of something when you could build an entirely new phase on top of it?


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#6
Algernon

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... I repeat...


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#7
O Brave New World

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just like homosexuality, it is only a phase.  


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#8
Rellik San

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It's a phase, next you'll enter the bitter and angry phase. Happens to us all.

 

Also being depressed and cynical for the sake of it isn't mature... in fact it's pretty damn childish, but you'll realise that as you get older.


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#9
You'll Hate Me One Day

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Do not listen to them. They know not what they speak of. It is NOT some silly 'phase.' If what you say is true, then perhaps you are like me... My colors are black like an abyss and bloody crimson mixed with teal. I have yet to find anyone with eyes like mine or the color teal... Talk to this girl, she is special. And so are you, if you see like me. And I know you've noticed but I am what 'they' call insane... But I love it. And if you do not fear madness...Tell me what you were afraid to add in this post...
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#10
xXamazinglyterribleXx

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So I just moved to my dad's because my mom sold me for meth and now she has people coming to my dad's house to take me "home"


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#11
You'll Hate Me One Day

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Assuming you are no lying (Which i think you are) But i could be wrong, after all this world is quite mad. You have three options xXamazinglyterribleXx. 1)Run 2) police 3) let them take you. And I'm curious to how you knew they were comming to get you...
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#12
Rellik San

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Do not listen to them. They know not what they speak of. It is NOT some silly 'phase.' If what you say is true, then perhaps you are like me... My colors are black like an abyss and bloody crimson mixed with teal. I have yet to find anyone with eyes like mine or the color teal... Talk to this girl, she is special. And so are you, if you see like me. And I know you've noticed but I am what 'they' call insane... But I love it. And if you do not fear madness...Tell me what you were afraid to add in this post...

You know your username... yeah that would be today... were it not adorable how pretentiously gothy you're attempting and failing to be.

 

Lol, goth, I grew out of that phase when I was 10.


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#13
You'll Hate Me One Day

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Oh dear, I don't think you should be talking down to me about usernames... As a matter of fact, someone like you shouldn't be talking down to me at all. Also you grew out of being goth into being emo? You are a pathetic waste of space that I care nothing about, and what you say to me has no validation whatsoever. Also I dont recall 'attempting' to be anything, but what someone like YOU thinks does not matter to me at all. Now, is that all you had to say? Or are you done wasting my time?
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#14
Rellik San

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Oh dear, I don't think you should be talking down to me about usernames... As a matter of fact, someone like you shouldn't be talking down to me at all. Also you grew out of being goth into being emo? You are a pathetic waste of space that I care nothing about, and what you say to me has no validation whatsoever. Also I dont recall 'attempting' to be anything, but what someone like YOU thinks does not matter to me at all. Now, is that all you had to say? Or are you done wasting my time?

 Mistake number one; No one on the mod team is Emo... Mistake number 2; inferring I could be emo and mistake number 3; taking anything said too seriously.

 

Although I do find the accusatory tone in that especially accented with the capitalisation of "YOU" adorable, it's like watching a kitten trying to fight a wolf.

 

And seriously, you were "attempting" to give advice and failing. Well and failing at being pretentious, but if you want pretension I can happily provide in spades.

 

Oh and finally, you neither had to read or respond to my comments, you wasted your own time by doing so. As for me, I'll waste my time as I see fit and thanks to this little exchange I have a new sport; Annoying the piss outta you.


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#15
You'll Hate Me One Day

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Haha your childish 'comebacks' are a bit entertaining actually. Especially with the whole 'I'm a member of the mod' thing. It was... How did you put it? Adorable? It's like watching a kitten trying to fight a wolf. You must have a lot of free time and no life. Especially sense you consider 'annoying' me a sport. Poor you. And I really don't care if you don't like my advice, especially sense you weren't the person I was giving it to. And I'm not paying much attention to you, I'm simply useing you as a side conversation while I work at my REAL job. And about the stupid capitalization remark you made, it was to add effaces. But apparently you are to slow to understand something as simple as that. And have fun wasting your worthless life ;) Meanwhile ill get back with you when I have time educate you. After all high school is an important part of growing up, not that you would know...
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#16
Steve 

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Haha your childish 'comebacks' are a bit entertaining actually. Especially with the whole 'I'm a member of the mod' thing. It was... How did you put it? Adorable? It's like watching a kitten trying to fight a wolf. You must have a lot of free time and no life. Especially sense you consider 'annoying' me a sport. Poor you. And I really don't care if you don't like my advice, especially sense you weren't the person I was giving it to. And I'm not paying much attention to you, I'm simply useing you as a side conversation while I work at my REAL job. And about the stupid capitalization remark you made, it was to add effaces. But apparently you are to slow to understand something as simple as that. And have fun wasting your worthless life ;) Meanwhile ill get back with you when I have time educate you. After all high school is an important part of growing up, not that you would know...

Hey now how about you and Rellik take this conversation to private messages? Like it or not, this isn't the "You'll Hate Me One Day's and Rellik San's buttmad argument" thread so if you're not going to use this thread to give useful advice, stop derailing it. 


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#17
Fizz

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I am 15, live in California(United States), and people say I'm very very strange. I'm probably the most negative, pessimistic person you'll ever meet. I hate beaches. If there is one area of any place on Earth that pisses me off, it's beaches. I love deserts. They're big and expansive, and... This may sound a little strange, but, they're sane. Sane as sane can be. This is what I mean! Shit like everything you just read is why people question my mental stability. I'm perfectly stable in the head, but people think the way I perceive is weird. Why are you even reading this? Bored? Depressed? Evil? Anyways, lets get to the point of this post. Ever since I was 8, I've been seeing these colorful outlines of those around me. They tend to be very faint and transparent, but I know they're there. I see them. Back then, I was afraid. What would people have thought? I still don't get it. I have all these religious nutbags telling me that I am gifted. I doubt it. Apparently, these colors correspond to ones thoughts and feelings. I know what your thinking. Cool, it would be awesome if I could do that!. It's quite confusing. Only the strong survive in a place like... a desert. Beaches are for the weak, the corruptible, the unloyal. Where they can be lax and sedated. But deserts. Everyone thinks that deserts are so bad because everything dies in a desert. Do they not see the thriving ecosystem? Do they not see that the desert is truly flourishing, just like everywhere else? I feel that my mind exploded into this post XD. My dad is a weed dealer. He has "underground connections". I live with my grandparents. In the city. Cities are very nice. I don't get why everyone is so afraid of crime. I'm completely comfortable with crime, or just criminals in general. About the colors thing, what do you think I should do with it? Ignore it? Use it? Exploit it? I wrote a crazy insane letter to a chick I really like. I had a dream about her. Many, In fact. I haven't summed the courage to give it to her. Even anonymously. I don't know why. I usually have no fear for my self or others. I don't care. She has Teal and Purple colors. Everyone at school usually has an evil looking red with an egotistical orange. Some of the more depressed people have Blue and Black colors. Like, Cobalt blue. And anxious people have light Grey-Blue. I have Green and Black. Energetic zippy green, and empty void black. It's wierd, because I'm one of the laziest people on Earth. People say I'm lucky to be in a rich country, because kids in Africa are dying. But... not to be a dick or anything, why should I care? I'm not a kid in Africa. You say they could eat my scraps of food? How... dignifying*sarcasm*. That sucks for them, but I'm not them. So... why should I eat a rotten piece of fruit? Because an African child could eat it? It doesn't make any sense. People say my philosophy is fucked up, when they themselves have almost no philosophical understanding. People say I'm very complex. And that simplicity is good. Why? Because simplicity is easy to comprehend? Because it requires no skill at all to infer something simple? I don't know? I really dig emo chicks. There's just something about them that's just so... attractive, infatuating, magnetic. Whatever word works for it. I don't care. They're just... fascinating. I love to converse with them on philosophy. I don't get it. I feel that I'm just spurting random mental gibberish at this point, so I'll stop here. Am I strange to you guys?

 

Sounds like you've been hitting that mary-jane when you wrote this. 

and yes it is a phase


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#18
xXxDark AngelxXx

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You are not going crazy, thats how i think all the time, i too love deserts, and foxes, foxes, for me, signify cunning, speed, surviving, doing anything for what they want to achieve, i totally know how you feel, i am like that too, people always think im wierd or mental, im just a perfectly normal person, dont worry about what other people think about you, i learned that the hard way...
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#19
EspoirTheMage

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Sounds like you can see peoples auras.


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#20
Silently Screaming

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Nope. Definitely not going crazy :)


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