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I Wanna Die.


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22 replies to this topic

#1
Silently Screaming

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I HATE life. I know that people have it worse than me. My parents are horrible. Ones emotionally abusive and one thinks sense he was in the army he needs to say " you wanna go bit**?" Every other sentence. I just cut my arm and no no one knows. The reason why I do it is because it stops the emotional pain. Whenever me and my mom get in an argument, it gets bad. Last time I got arrested for assault. I pushed my mom into a wall for pushing me into the ground and calling me a Bit**. Whenever the argument is small, she hits me where it hurts. She takes away my music and paper and pens. The only two things holding me to this earth. I wanna die. I've gone to counseling for about 3 years now. Been on meds. Nothing is working. I don't understand why my mom will say " pack your stuff and ill call your father" but when I call him and he says I can come over she goes off the deep end and starts yelling at me. I'm completely alone. I don't know what to do. I think about running away, but I have no where to go. I think about ending it, but then I get cold feet or I tell someone and I get sent to a hospital. I want her off my case. I only stay numb for so long. Then the happiness is ripped away. What should I do?   


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#2
EspoirTheMage

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really sorry you feel this way. I went through a lot of shit with my mom when i was a teenager. she was having a nervous breakdown and took it out on me a lot. It got to where i wanted to die in my sleep. I had anxiety disorder and depression so her problems on top of mine was not a good combination.

 

it got better though when I was 18. I managed to meet my boyfriend thru some friends on facebook. at this point i went to my friends occasionally under strict rules. we ended up being together and inseperable and i ended up getting pregnant with his child. I moved in with him after having our baby. 

 

not saying you should go out and get pregnant LOL no not at all. I just ended up finding my savor which is now my finace. how old are you?

 

when you're old enough, you got to understand its your life, and if your life is toxic, you need to get out.

 

EDIT:

oh, honey, you're 12. :sad: you got a long time before you can be in control of your life. do you have a relative you can live with?


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#3
Silently Screaming

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No. I mean, I've talked to my grandmother and dad. They both said I could move in if I wanted. But, my mom won't let me go.


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#4
AZgirl480

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Why not call a child abuse hotline? If you call it in, officers will remove you from the home and will most likely put you with your dad or grandma.

 

Or go to a hospital, police or fire station or just a safe place. They will help you.


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#5
Silently Screaming

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I already tried. They said what my mom does is perfectly fine. Name calling and screaming at me is apparently what parents are supposed to do. -_-


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#6
Insane Pie

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I already tried. They said what my mom does is perfectly fine. Name calling and screaming at me is apparently what parents are supposed to do. -_-

 

It's legal and so is hitting a child as long as it doesn't leave a mark.


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#7
torturedninja2

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Apparently it is legal because my dad used to beat me with the metal part of his belt and it left scars on my legs and my mom took pictures of them and sent them to dhs and they said they would see what they could do, but I never heard back from them. And that was 4 or 5 years ago.
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#8
alakazam

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I already tried. They said what my mom does is perfectly fine. Name calling and screaming at me is apparently what parents are supposed to do. -_-

 

Who said that? I'm pretty sure that no police station will tell you that being physically abused by your parents is perfectly fine. Have you actually tried talking to a police officer? Like actually going to a police station and telling them everything your mom does.


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#9
Silently Screaming

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No. But the day I got arrested, I told them what my mom does and he said that was perfectly ok.


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#10
red wrist

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Consider running away. I know it is hard but don't end. Yourself it would be like she won make a plan start with something think about a way too get too your dad and grandma try taking money from you mother or a way too earning money so you can take a subway or bus or plane (I don't know how far your dad lives) but first before doing anything make a very good plan think about what you want to be in the future you'll never know if you don't try !!
I hope you find a way

Have faith!!
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#11
alakazam

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No. But the day I got arrested, I told them what my mom does and he said that was perfectly ok.

 

Do you have a smartphone with a camera or anything to record with? Record her abusing you and put it on YouTube. Or record yourself talking about these issues and put them on YouTube. It will become viral and authorities will take action.

 

It is not perfectly ok. Go to a poilce station and ask for help.

 

http://www.lifesiten...anking-daughter

 

Why did you stop going to the counselor?


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#12
Insane Pie

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Consider running away. I know it is hard but don't end. Yourself it would be like she won make a plan start with something think about a way too get too your dad and grandma try taking money from you mother or a way too earning money so you can take a subway or bus or plane (I don't know how far your dad lives) but first before doing anything make a very good plan think about what you want to be in the future you'll never know if you don't try !!
I hope you find a way

Have faith!!

 

This is a horrible idea. Just another way for OP to get in trouble.


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#13
Silently Screaming

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Do you have a smartphone with a camera or anything to record with? Record her abusing you and put it on YouTube. Or record yourself talking about these issues and put them on YouTube. It will become viral and authorities will take action.

 

It is not perfectly ok. Go to a poilce station and ask for help.

 

http://www.lifesiten...anking-daughter

 

Why did you stop going to the counselor?

I haven't. I have told him too. He said it's fine. I've told my school 3 times, had DCYF at the house and they said what she did was perfectly fine.


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#14
alakazam

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This is a horrible idea. Just another way for OP to get in trouble.

 

Well, if you have a better idea, let's hear it. OP just posted that she contacted the authorities several times and that they are not on her side. What is she supposed to do? The only thing left I can think of is calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

http://www.thehotline.org


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#15
Insane Pie

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Well, if you have a better idea, let's hear it. OP just posted that she contacted the authorities several times and that they are not on her side. What is she supposed to do? The only thing left I can think of is calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

http://www.thehotline.org

 

Running away is just going to get OP into more trouble.


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#16
red wrist

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I mean by consider running away that she has too find a way too get to her father or grandma

I hope you will find a way girl !!
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#17
M4dR1L3y

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Its ridiculous what will get you taken into custody and what wont. Ive been through that, got taken because my mother was keeping me out of school. They didn't find out exactly what all was going on till after me and my four siblings were taken. Im sorry you're feeling like this. My adoptive parents are exactly the same way, and the only way I escaped was the magical age of 18. I moved out. That was the longest 7 years of my life >.>


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#18
Matty1881

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no its not legal, that sounds like a small town where every one knows every on, occult or gang at work doing an indoctrination. fuck them man what they have is a personality dissorder and is very sick its called NPD narcisistic personality disorder. they try tear down world views


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#19
Matty1881

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also if ppl are saying shit like its ok or normal fuck this site off because its just full of those wankers trying to fuck you up from all angles there is a way out and a better life waiting for you, you just have to find it. good luck


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#20
SuicideFabi

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I've been there, still am I went to the hospital for almost ending it, and I also want to run away, my dad always screams at me and sometimes hits me and my mom is an alcoholic so she's basically drunk all the time I think about ending it bc I don't have friends in school, my dad, my mom, the people I thought I trusted betrayed me. I have no reason to live for... I know people have it worse than me, but I can't handle the pain, the loneliness, the hatred, guilt, I just want the numb inside of me to leave and I think I might break, yes I cut, am suicidal, have depression, take Meds, went to the Hospital, and go to Therapy, but I have to keep fighting am even afraid to go to sleep bc I'm afraid I might not wake up but I know there's a light at the of tunnel, you could do something great, trust me it will get better even if it doesn't seem like it, just promise me, promise me, promise me you won't end it
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