**Due to the nature of Tom and Johan, in order to obtain accurate, truthful answers, a truth telling drug was administered.**
***For the sake of the interview, switching between the personalities of Tom and Oliver is a rapid back and forth, but this is unrealistic and not how it happens in the rp's***
Interviewer: 1. Names.
O: Oliver Venton
T: Tom Venton
J: Johan Kohl
Interviewer *Confused expression, looks at Oliver/Tom*: Uhm...Alright...Ahehm..2. Approximate Age?
O: Well, according to my last birthday, I'm 21! I can drink in the US, hahah! *Large smile* *Looks at interviewer* You don't happen to have any Vodka around, do you?
O: Hahah, alright, that's too bad!
Interviewer: So...Tom..your age?
T: *Bored expression, raised eyebrow* 23. Who really cares though? *Looks directly at interviewer* How about you?! *Looks directly at interviewer*
J: *Waits patiently*
Interviewer: Tom, please, I'm the one asking the questions here.
T: Fuckin' condescending ass-hole.
Interviewer *Narrows eyes at Tom. Turns to Johan*: Anyway...Johan, what about you?
O: *Perplexed. Wondering why interviewer gave him a rude look*
Interviewer: Alright, very succinct. *Turns to everyone* Next question. 3. Are you all happy in your life?
O: Of course! Life is pretty good overall...Of course, everyone has those days where everything goes to shit. *Shrugs* But yeah, I can't imagine not being alive!
T: I like being alive, but my life could be better. For instance, this day would significantly improve if you were sprawled on that chair of yours, innards amiss.
Interviewer: *Backs up chair*
J: *Looks directly at interviewer* Happiness is not a factor I consider to be present in my existence. Pleasure in various modes comes and dissipates, yes, but just in their brief glimpse in time.
Interviewer *Stares at Johan for a few moments*: Why the smile, then?
J: *Small chuckle* It's pleasant, is it not? It is best to show the world, and anyone who may be looking, your best possible being.
O: *Looks thoughtful*
T: *Rolls eyes* Who is this guy?
Interviewer *Nods*: I can see your point. Moving on. 4. Do you feel like anything is missing? If so, what do you want?
O: *Thinks* I suppose, sometimes I feel...off, odd, or whatever..
Interviewer: No kidding *Mutters under breath*
O: ...Maybe that's what "something missing" feels like? Anyway...I don't really know. Maybe seeing my brother would help?
Interviewer *Shrugs*: I don't know what would make you feel better, I just ask the questions.
O: *Sad sigh* Fair enough.
T: Missing? No. If anything, I would like to get rid of a few annoyances.
Interviewer: Such as...?
T: *Raises eyebrow* You should know by now, right? Unless you're an idiot.
Interviewer: *Angry expression* Of course I'm not! We just need you to say it for the tape recorder.
T: Fine. *Looks at the wall for a moment* Oliver. He gets on my damn nerves! Everyday I wake up hoping he'd be gone, but nope! *Pokes at his head*
Interviewer: *Regards Tom for a second* ...Alright then... *Slowly turns to Johan* How about you?
J: A point.
Interviewer: Missing a "point"? A point to what?
J: A point to existence in its entirety. It is not as if it's missing per say, rather, it was never there to begin with. Such a thing that were never there can't be missed, but it can be void, perhaps sensed, and in the case of humans, presumed to be present.
Interviewer: *Long silence* .....5. Do you plan on being a musician/artist/writer?
O: YES! *Silence* .....Well, actually... *Laughs, slightly embarrassed* I used to play the Theremin bu-
T: *Obnoxious sigh* He sucked! Fuck! I couldn't STAND to listen to it.
Interviewer: *Nervous glance*
O: *Continues without a hitch* - but my brother didn't seem to like it...one day... *Shrugs* I'm not really sure where it went or what happened, but it just disappeared....
Interviewer: Well, that's unfortunate. *Pauses* I can already sort of grasp what you'll say, Tom, but here goes; what about you? Plan on being a musician/artist/writer?
T: So what, now your giving me an attitude?!
Interviewer: *Sigh* Please, just answer the question.
T: Hmmph, I guess the faster I answer the quicker this whole farce will be over, right?
Interviewer: *Nods* Correct.
T: Musician? No. Writer? Ehh...*Thinks* I am capable of writing, but I prefer not to waste time on it. Artist? *Laughs* You could rightfully say I already am one!
Interviewer: I'm sort of hesitant to ask...but...Artist, how?
T: Oh you know. *Laughs a bit* *Stares directly at interviewer, menacing smile on face* Ripping people apart, spattering their blood, innards, and whatnot. Isn't that art? Isn't THAT beauty? I don't always go out of my way to display them in such a way, but when I do, well, then I think you'd understand. *Laughs* It's literal body art!
Interviewer: *Inches chair back further* *Long silence* ...Johan?
J: I have played a few instruments in my time. I write when necessary, not out of poetic impulse. I suppose I used to paint, but no, I do not fancy myself having any sort of occupation in those expressional media.
Interviewer: *Nods* Ok. 6. Do you think you are artistic?
O: I used to think so, but I've been told otherwise, hah. *Small smile* I suppose not everyone can be, then it wouldn't be as admirable, right?
T: Didn't I already answer this fuckin' question?
Interviewer: *Annoyed look* I suppose you did...
J: No, artistic probably is not a word I would use to correctly describe myself.
Interviewer: Alright. 7. Hav-
T: You say alright a lot, have you ever noticed that?
Interviewer: *Narrows eyes* Have you ever tried hard drugs?
O: Nope! The hardest "drug" I've ever tried is alcohol. That other stuff...ehk, I don't want to get myself mixed up in shit like that.
T: Of course I have. A few times. Ya know, coke, ecstasy, stuff down those lines. It was fun at the time, but you know, everything in moderation! ...except killing. *Winks*
Interviewer: *Nods* 8. If so, have they changed your life?
O: Well, no, but if we're talking about alcohol...Hahah, I guess I'm a bit of a lush!
T: *Rolls eyes* Yeah "a bit" of a lush, sure. And no, it just added to my collective experience of life. Only the pathetic and weak get addicted to that crap.
Interviewer: 9. What age would you like to die?
O: *Looks surprised* That's quite the question...Trying to probe our minds? *Laughs* Well...I'd have to say at an old age. 80? Or is that too unreasonable?
Interviewer: *Shrugs* I don't think the "reasonability" of the age matters.
O: Ok! I think 100 would be a good age. *Smiles*
T: Don't make me laugh! I fancy myself immortal, but unfortunately I'm not the delusional type. *Shrugs* But yeah, no, "like" and "die" do not belong in the same sentence when it comes to questioning my mortality and life-span.
J: *Looks the interviewer dead in the eyes* Life is but a small smudge on the face of the universe - No, our lives would not even make a mark. Are you aware of the immense timescale the universe operates on? All life is of such a minuscule nature considering this magnificent scale that life itself becomes unremarkable. There is nothing innately special about being born, not one thing. My life is not special, your life is not special. I am here right now, but if it were such that I died in the next second, day, year, it would not matter.
When I die does not concern me.
Consider it this way; if you were to have a gun with you right now, and you were to aim at me with the intention on ending my existence, and pulled the trigger, I would not take any pains to impede the bullet from taking me from life, nor would I move out of its path.
*Silence in the room*
O: *Looks at Johan with sad eyes, looks at the ground* *Feels depressed*
T: Who the FUCK is this guy?! Fuck him, he may not be special, but my damned existance sure has some element of uniqueness! *Turns on Johan* If you wanna die, I can make that happen for you! Ever eat a knife before??
J: *Still has pleasant expression and small smile* *Waits for next question*
Interviewer: *Slumps in chair slightly* I just don't...I have no response for that....*Tries to cheer up* Alright. Moving on! 10. Would you let your kids smoke weed?
O: *Thinks* Well, weed isn't the worst thing in the world...I mean, there's crack, coke, heroin...I'd much rather them do weed than any of those. *Stands up* IF THEY EVEN TOUCHED THOSE...!! Uhm, I'm sorry. *Settles back into seat* But yeah, I guess I'd let them, I mean, only occasionally of course!...*Embarrassed* Maybe? ...I don't know....sorry...
T: *Laughs* What a moronic question! I'm never having any of those little shits in the first place! So, no.
J: The relevance of that question is rendered moot when asked to me. You will never find, and there will never be, anything with any semblance of my genetic makeup existing outside of me in this universe.
Interviewer: ...11. Are you any of you an angry person?
O: I get angry sometimes, hah, who doesn't? But generally? No, I'd like to think I'm a pretty good guy, not too moody or anything. *Smiles - still slightly sad*
T: Oh, I'm quite aware of my personality. I'm pretty hot headed, I'd have to admit, I get angry easy, all that. But I wouldn't necessarily say I'm an overall angry person.
Interviewer: *Raises eyebrow* Really? Cause you do yell a lot...
T: Cram it bitch.
Interviewer: *Tries to suppress anger* Fucking headstrong bastard *Mutters* Johan?
J: No. Anger, just as any emotion, is pointless.
Interviewer: So...are you saying you never feel ANY emotion? At all??
J: No. The occasional scintillation of emotion rears its head at times, yes. Avoiding it entirely is not something I can do.
Interviewer: ...Al-...Ok. 12. Do you laugh a lot, but don't really mean it?
O: *Nervous laugh* I didn't think so...But thinking back...yeah, I guess I do. More of a coping mechanism really, I think.
T: Nope. I mean every ounce of my laughs.
J: No. I do not laugh very frequently anyway.
Interviewer: Well, maybe you should try it, maybe lighten your outlook on life. 13. Do you like to think you are popular?
O: Popular? *Thinks* I don't know if that's the right word, but I do seem to get along with people well. *Smiles*
T: *Laughs* Sure sure! I've been with lots of women, does that qualify as "popular"?
J: Throughout my existence as of yet it seems I have been successful in the social realm.
Interviewer: 14. Describe your most terrifying dream?
O: Uhmm... *Thinks*...*Shivers* I don't want to think about it... *Sad eyes*
Interviewer: It'll be over quickly, just tell us and be done with it.
O: *Sucks in air* Ok. ......Finding somebody, falling in love... *Twirls finger* Fast forward; I get home one day, ready to relax with my beautiful family, then black...I wake up in some torture chamber-esque dungeon, the love of my life standing over me as I'm restrained, smiling. Why smiling? What's going on? This person I loved tortures me, watched as I go days without food, and one day brings me a hefty plate of meat. I'm disgusted - I don't eat meat - but am forced to eat it. After a few forced meat meals I realize something? Where are the children? WHERE?? My love smiles, laughs. I am told that I just finished eating the last of them. *Pale face* I vomit, but disgustingly that person whom I thought loved me manages to shove it all back in. My little ones...I get convinced it was my fault, my fault that this all happened, maybe I wanted to eat my children? Once I am thoroughly convinced that I'm the worst person in existence, my former love eats me and the world...
Interviewer: *Stunned silence* That...That certainly is...something.
O: *Absorbed in thought* ...Or maybe it's the one where I'm somehow this psycho murderer? Somehow I'm truly dead, and all I am now is just some part of a fragmented psyche of this other, murderous person...*Sighs* their both awful. I hope to never have them again.
T: *Annoyed* Finally done his sob story huh? Well, as for me, I don't get terrified, so. Yeah. Next!
J: I do not seem to ever be subjected to dreams of any sort.
Interviewer: 15. What band would you die to see live?
O: Hahah, would I die to see a band? No, sorry! There are lots of good ones though...
T: I wouldn't give up my life for such a ridiculous thing as a band!
J: The dead are out of existence, it does not seem productive or worthwhile to speculate otherwise.
Interviewer: 16. How would you like to die?
O: Ahh...Why all these questions about death? *Sad eyes* I don't like the use of "like" in this instance...death isn't something I would "like" in any circumstance. How about prefer?
Interviewer: Prefer, fine, just answer the question.
O: *Thinks* Some way that is painless, definitely. I guess dying in my sleep of old age would be ideal. If death could be such a thing...
T: *Slightly surprised* Wow, that idiot actually said something that wasn't completely useless. Of course, something relatively painless, but nothing as pitiful as "dying in your sleep". No, I'd rather something a bit more urgent and by my own hands, like committing suicide when I get old and feeble.
J: The circumstances and surrounding details do not matter. I suppose painless would be "nice", but no. It does not matter.
Interviewer: 17. What's your opinion on self-mutilation?
O: It's sad to think people feel such hatred towards themselves that they would want to do something like that...I would try to help them stop. *Serious*
J: It does not matter. Opinions do not serve much purpose in others actions unless something is done accordingly. *Due to truth telling drugs he is coldly honest* Put in a room with one such person, it would be more productive to provide the means than to convince them it is wrong. Why prevent destructive behaviour when life is inherently pointless in this universe?
Interviewer: *Stares at Johan* *Backs up chair slightly*...18. Do you believe in capitalism?
O: Ehk, it's one of the main elements destroying the world now. So no! Greedy bastards.
T: One word. Anarchy. Don't get me wrong, if I were at the top of the capitalist "food chain" as it were, I would revel in the process.
J: "Believing" in anything is inane.
Interviewer: 19. Communism?
O: Not in practice, no, it doesn't seem to ever work out... *Shrugs*
T: Do I have to say it again? *Annoyed* Anarchy.
J: Theoretically it has a premise which would appeal to some, but its application in the real world can be considered a failure. But as I said before, "believing" in anything is pointless.
Interviewer: 20. Libertarianism?
O: It seems good, sounds good. Out of anything I would be more inclined to believe in that.
T: *Frustrated silence*
Interviewer: Right. Anarchy.
J: You have grasped my notion on "beliefs" by now, correct?
Interviewer: Right...21. Would you rather be an anarchist or a socialite? I know Tom's answer already...
O: Socialite would be nice!
T: *Laugh* Anarchist.
J: Both are interesting in their own right. There is not much in the way of a comment favouring either.
Interviewer: ...OK...22. Freedom of speech or controlled society?
O: Being in a controlled society would be depressing. Definitely freedom of speech. *Smiles*
T: *Sighs* Who cares? ...I guess freedom of speech? It doesn't really matter much to me, they wouldn't be able to control me in a so called "controlled society" anyway.
J: To reiterate a previous comment; a comment from me on such the subject would be moot. Though I will admit that, of the two, "freedom of speech" would probably provide the more interesting interpersonal socialization.
Interviewer: 23. Obama or Bush?
O: From what I've seen of Bush...Obama appears to be more favourable. Hah...I have to admit though, I don't go out of my way to expose myself to other countries' politics, outside of comedy shows. *Embarrassed smile*
T: Both of them.......Dead. Heads on pikes, flayed, innards all over, what have you...Any of those sound like viable options.
J: Such blatant opinions on those two do not exist in my specter of thought.
Interviewer: ..Fine...24. Would you consider yourself intelligent?
O: *Embarrassed laugh* I would like to think I have a certain degree of intelligence...I guess sometimes I can be sorta dumb though...
T: "Sorta dumb"? He's one of those sentimental saps, so of course he can't truly be considered "intelligent".
Interviewer: Oh? I wasn't aware that those two attributes were related.
T: *Exasperated sigh* Wake up then! It's all those types of morons that try to help when they have no idea what the hell they're doing. They always seem to run to their death.
Interviewer: Whatever, I don't even see the point in arguing. So, consider yourselves intelligent, yay or nay?
T: Of course I think highly of myself. I'm not an idiot like Ollie.
T: Oliver, obviously. Just shut up so we can finish this fucking thing!
J: *Waits patiently*
Interviewer: Johan? I don't think you even need to answer it...but you know, procedure.
J: Considering the myriad of interactions encountered in my life, I suppose it is reasonable to presume that my level of cognizance is elevated above the norm.
Interviewer: "Above the norm", right. 25. When was the last time you cried?
O: Uhm... *Thinks* I don't know precisely, but it must have been at least a year ago...?
T: *Laughs* Did you come up with these questions on your own?
Interviewer: No, they were pre-made.
T: Right, well, I don't cry.
J: I do not recall crying since infant-hood.
Interviewer: 26. When was the last time you laughed?
O: Hahah, during this interview! *Smiles*
T: This interview, or are you too simple-minded to recall?
J: I suppose I did indulge in such a thing near the beginning of this interview. However, it's not something which occurs too often.
Interviewer: I'm not entirely surprised. 27. Who is your last text from?
O: *Takes out cell* *Checks* I guess it was this woman I met at the bar a few nights ago. *Slightly embarrassed smile* She seemed nice.
T: *Laughs* *Shakes head* He's pathetic. He thinks he'll see that woman again. Yeah...That'll never happen.
Interviewer: *Startled expression, reluctant to ask* ...Why not?
T: *Pleased, somewhat psycho smile* I like it rough. *Winks* Get it? ...No? *Sigh* *Unimpressed* ...I killed her.
Interviewer: *Moves chair back more* Ahem...I don't suppose you text, Johan?
J: It's a convenient mode of communication. But no. Even the "disposable" mobiles are not completely secure.
Interviewer: ..Right. 28. What did it say, Oliver, Tom?
O: *Perplexed* Tom? Is there someone else here? Cause I'm sure his name - *Gestures towards Johan* - is Johan, right?
Interviewer: ....Sorry, excuse that. What did it say?
O: Uhm... *Embarrassed* *Blushes* ...Hahah..Nothing appropriate...BUT! We did chat a lot about our lives and some philosophical subjects before that!...
T: *Laughs* That was great! Would've been more amusing if you continued to confuse him though!
Interviewer: *Narrowed eyes* What did you say?
T: Me? Oh, nothing too lewd. You should have read what Ollie wrote! That was, just, wow! ...Anyway, yeah, just that I wanted to see her. Then, you know, when she showed up we had a bit of fun before I killed her.
Interviewer: ...Charming. 29. Ever had your ass kicked?
O: *Sigh* Yes. I've been in a few bar fights...I've won some though!...Oh...wait...*Ashamed*...I guess that's nothing to be proud of...Also..My brother was prone to violence...and, well...I never really had a chance against him.....*Shrugs* he thought it was fun...
T: *Laughs* Nope. Absolutely not! I'm the one doing the ass kicking.
Interviewer: 30. What's your middle name?
O: Uhmmm...I'm pretty sure I have one...I don't recall exactly what it is though...
T: Sure I do. *Shrugs* I can't remember it though. Doesn't matter though.
J: Such a name was not imparted to me.
Interviewer: ..Alright. Before the next question, lets establish something. *Sly smile* What's everyone's sexuality?
O: Uhmm... *Slightly embarrassed*
Interviewer: *Interested* Don't worry, I don't judge.
O: A-Alright.. *Clears throat* Gender and gender identity don't really matter to me...If I like the person I like the person. *Shrugs, smiles* So...yep.
T: I enjoy women.
J: The impulse for sexual contact is not something paramount in my existence. Though, supposing I did engage in such a pastime, it would be with a woman.
Interviewer: Now then, 31. Single or taken?
O: *Sighs* Single. Someday though...*Looks into space*
T: Single. I have no intention of being stuck with one damned person. I'm already fuckin' stuck with that idiot you've been talking to. *Annoyed* Someday, I swear...
Interviewer: Well, I guess question 32 is pointless now. Moving on. 33. What are you looking for in someone?
O: I don't really know if I have any specific "types" or requirements. *Thinks* Love knows no logic. *Smiles*
T: *Rolls eyes* Spouting that "love knows no logic" shit again. That thing you call "love"? Pure delusion. Nothing more. What I always look for is a good body. Who cares what they're like upstairs.
J: No one.
Interviewer: ...34. Sex or love? ...I already know Tom's answer.
O: *Awkward smile* Sex is nice...but love is better. Hahah, sex with someone you love?
J: Both prospects hold no appeal.
Interviewer: That's what I figured. 35. Who is your best friend?
O: Oh... *Looks at the ground* I don't have any...It would be nice if I did.....
T: Friends are a hindrance. Who has time for such bullshit anyway?
J: All there ever will be are acquaintances.
Interviewer: Well, maybe you all should get some friends...actually, that probably wouldn't happen.
Interviewer: Guess we'll have to skip 36. 37. Are you moody?
O: *Reflects* Not particularly. Moods change of course, but nothing too drastic I don't think...
T: Ya ya, I suppose. I already said I have a short fuse, right?! *Annoyed*
J: Not at all.
T: *Looks at Johan suspiciously* *Glares* I bet this guy's a goddamned robot.
J: Assuredly not, I'm as human as you are.
T: *Glares* ...Sure.
Interviewer: Anyway...38. Are you depressed?
O: No, not right now! *Smiles*
T: Hell no.
Interviewer: 39. What do you think of abortion?
O: *Thinks* I suppose there's circumstances that sort of...you know, justify it...you know, rape victims, medical issues..*Conflicted* I don't know...
T: I don't care.
J: Consider the issue in this light; due to the innate worthlessness and vanity of life, would it not make sense to end such drivel before it even began? In death, all are equal.
Interviewer: *Silence*....Uhm...40. Are you in a good mood today?
O: I don't know...I used to be...
T: *Laughs* Not particularly. I would feel better with your torso separated from your body.
Interviewer: *Backs up chair* *Almost at the wall* ...Johan?
J: "A good mood" is not the correct descriptor.
Interviewer: 41. If not, why are you not?
O: *Looks at Johan* ... *Silence*
T: You're still breathing and talking, aren't you? *Sounds bored, twang of annoyance*
J: Simply, I am occupying space in this room, emotion or mood is not a factor.
Interviewer: ...42. Are you afraid of the swine flu?
O: Nope! I'm quite healthy.
T: *Bored* No.
Interviewer: 43. Are you afraid to be yourself?
O: Uhm...I would say no. I'm pretty comfortable with myself....mostly..
T: Don't be ridiculous! Some of these questions, wow, are you sure you didn't write them yourself? Cause it sounds like something an idiot like you would dream up.
Interviewer: *Ignores* *Looks at Johan*
J: No. However, there comes a time - many times - where being honest or speaking your mind freely is not wise.
Interviewer: 44. What would you label yourself?
O: Interesting... *Thinks* Uhm...Nice? No, that's too simple...How about passionate? *Smiles*
T: *Yawn* Harbinger of death.
Interviewer: *Raises eyebrow* Do you mean you wouldn't label yourself, or there's no label?
J: Neither. You asked what my label would be. Simply, "nothing".
O: *Tries not to feel sad* *Looks at Johan* "Nothing" doesn't sound right. You're here right now, so doesn't that make you something? *Thinks* How about...complex?
J: *Regards Oliver* *Turns back to interviewer* My answer is as previously stated.
Interviewer: Alright...45. Do you live with your parents?
O: Nope! I have been independent of them for a while now. Well...since I was 18.
T: Definitely not.
Interviewer: Are your parents still alive?
O: *Stares* Yes, hopefully for a while longer.
T: Yep. *Yawns* I'll have to rectify that at some point.
J: *Looks directly at interviewer* No.
Interviewer: ...I'm going to leave it at that...46. How many siblings do you have?
O: I have 1 older brother! *Looks concerned* I haven't seen him for a while though...
T: Alive? *Laughs* No. But yet... *Frustrated expression*
Interviewer: 47. Do you wear skinny jeans?
O: Sometimes. It depends on what I feel like wearing.
Interviewer: 48. Are you emo?
O: I don't believe so, no. *Smiles*
T: *Annoyed* Not a chance.
Interviewer: 49. Are you aware that all emo kids look exactly the same?
O: I guess I've heard that expression before...But surely there's some differences?
T: Who. Fucking. Cares. These questions are ridiculous.
Interviewer: Yes...So we've heard before. Multiple times. Johan?
T: *Menacing stare* How tempting it is to rip out your tongue.
Interviewer: *Tries to ignore* Johan?
J: The relevance of such a question is non-existent.
Interviewer: ....Fine...I'm not going to bother. 50. Are you a hater?
O: No. I'm more of a lover than a hater really. *Smiles*
T: *Shrugs* I hate you, I hate people, basically. So...perhaps.
Interviewer: 51. Are you anti-racist?
O: Yep. Racism is just ridiculous! When will everyone just accept that race doesn't matter? Lives are equal, end of story.
T: *Shrugs* I'm sure I've killed a fair amount of racists. People are people, and people are better off dead.
J: All human lives are equally meaningless.
Interviewer: ...52. Explain your personality in 3 words.
O: Uhm... *Thinks* Compassionate, helpful - hopefully useful - and...thoughtful, hah. I'm sure I didn't do that well of a job describing myself.. *Self-conscious laugh*...sorry.
T: He left out sentimental idiot. Me? Daring, superior...Twisted. *Smirks* In the best way possible, of course.
J: You will see.
Interviewer: ...I think I've already gathered an idea...53. What do you wish your name was?
O: I'm not really sure...I can't imagine having a name other than "Oliver".
T: Who knows. *Shrugs* There are so many names out there. It's hard to pinpoint just one. Maybe "Reid", or perhaps "Vio/Veo" sounds interesting..
J: Wishing for an alternate name is a waste of thought. Rather, I wish I had no name at all.
Interviewer: ...I'm not sure I want to ask why...Moving on! 54. How old do you want to be when you get married?
O: What a question! Well...35 at the latest. I hope sometime before then though! *Smiles* But it all depends on when I meet that special person, and when we feel comfortable enough to get married.
T: *Sigh* I'm certainly not getting married. Next!
J: Marriage is not something on my horizon.
Interviewer: 55. What do you want to name your kids?
O: Name my kids? *Thinks* I have no idea...Something unique...Sorry! I don't know.
T: *Annoyed twitch* Hello! Meet "Non" and "Existent". *Sarcasm* Next damn question.
Interviewer: *Ignores Tom* *Turns to Johan*
J: There will be no children.
Interviewer: 56. What kind of hairstyle do you want?
O: Uhm...*Flounders slightly* Maybe slightly shorter? Maybe dye it a natural orange/red?...I don't know...its alright now...
T: My hair's fine the way it is.
J: Want? No, I keep this hair to maintain my pleasant outward appearance. I see no need to change it.
Interviewer: ....57. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?
O: Hahah, this morning of course! *Smiles*
T: *Narrows eyes* This morning.
J: This morning.
Interviewer: 58. What are you wearing right now?
T: Are you BLIND? Do you really need to ask us this?! Can't you just write it down without being a bothersome ass?
O: Casual vest, stripped shirt underneath. Oh, I guess I'm actually wearing skinny jeans right now! Hahah.
T: Same as him. *Glares* Obviously.
J: The relevance of this question is dubious at best, very pointless. Nonetheless; dark turtle neck, tan suit jacket and pants.
T: *Narrows eyes at Johan* The relevance of most of these questions is "dubious". What exactly are you all dressed up for? A ball?!
J: True. The relevance of life is as such anyhow, so in a way it makes perfect sense that the questions would follow suite. This is simply how I dress.
T: *Twitches* This fucking guy -
Interviewer: -Alright! Shut up, Tom.
T: The fuck you say to me?! It sounds like you really do want your rib cage split open.
Interviewer: *Backs up more* *Chair hits the wall* Damn....*Sits down**Composes self*...59. S-say something random.
O: Uhm...Hi! *Embarrassed laugh* *Looks at interviewer concerned* Are you all right? ...You seem to have moved rather far away...
Interviewer: *Unimpressed expression* I'm fine. Everyone else? Say something random.
T: Fuck you, bitch.
Interviewer: ...Lovely as always..60. What do you wear to bed?
O: Hahah, well, usually just some loose clothes. You know, baggy sweater, track pants or something.
T: *Bored* When he comes home drunk he sleeps in his clothes. And snores. *Sighs* I sleep in whatever.
J: Cloth night wear - pajamas, if you will.
Interviewer: Ok! 61. What colour is your underwear?
O: *Surprised, wide eyes* *Embarrassed blush* Uhm...well, today? Or in general?
Interviewer: *Raises eyebrow* Today.
O: *Nervous laugh* Well...that's a funny story, aha..You see, I must have screwed up the laundry or something...Cause they all came out pink...haha... *Looks at hands*
Interviewer: *Chuckles* Right!
T: Shut your fucking mouth! There weren't any damned white ones left! Fuck...I should have done the damn laundry...He can't even do a simple task right! *Grumbles* Never fucking do laundry drunk..idiot..*Grumble grumble*
Interviewer: *Slightly frightened* Uhm...Ahem...Johan?
Interviewer: 62. Am I getting too personal?
O: Yeah...a bit. *Small smile*
T: Obviously! Idiot.
J: Interviews usually entail exposing personal matters, so I expected as much.
Interviewer: 63. What's your view on War?
O: *Shakes head* It's depressing. What's it all for? Can't we settle disputes without it? *Sad sigh* All those wasted lives. Sometimes...this world... *Shakes head*
T: *Grin* There's nothing more beautiful than a large field riddled with dead bodies and screams, death and destruction all around.
J: *Eyes seem to light up* It must be quite the spectacle. The fear. The fear must be potent. Palpable. Almost as if it were an atmospheric layer unto itself. How their eyes must look; the soldiers, the casualties.
Interviewer: *Wishes they could back up more* Uhm.....*Clears throat* 64. P-...Pacifism?
O: Sure! It's a pretty good policy...Though if you're too passive you'll get walked over...So..I think finding a stable middle ground is best.
T: Certainly not! You should know me well enough by now!
J: It has its merits in certain circumstances.
Interviewer: 65. Do you think the drug culture is misunderstood?
O: *Thinks* ..Well...I think many don't truly understand the nature of addiction...so...Some of it is, yeah.
T: I just don't care.
J: To an extent. *Pause* Drug addicts are desperate - they are effortlessly manipulated.
Interviewer: ......66. Are you a fan of Hitler?
O: *Serious face* Of course not! He was an awful man.
T: *Shrugs* Not particularly. He was an idiot. You don't target a specific "type" of people, you just wipe out them all, and stand on top as the last person on Earth..or world dominator, whatever - if that were possible. He did it wrong.
J: Discriminating between equally worthless human lives is paltry.
Interviewer: *Sighs* 67. Do you read literature?
O: I thoroughly enjoy reading! There's too many good books to mention. Recently I finished an amusing but intriguing book written by Terry Pratchett. *Smiles*
T: Yeah, sure. *Bored* It's good to exercise your brain. Don't want a poor vocabulary.
J: Certainly. I'm well versed in an exorbitant spectra of prose, from philosophy, to law, economics, biology, to Latin. "Deficit omne quod nasciture" - that is, "Everything that is born passes away". The more literal translation is much more alluring, "Everything ceases because it is born" or "Everything fails that is born".
Interviewer: ....68. Do you love horror movies?
O: They are certainly entertaining! Gets the adrenaline moving. Some of them though....Ehk...makes me not want to meet the person who thought of them...
T: They're alright. It's much more satisfying going out yourself instead of just watching people get murdered.
J: I do not watch a great deal of fiction.
Interviewer: 69. What's your favourite one?
O: *Considers* Well...I wouldn't necessarily say its my favourite, but it's lodged in my head. "Gyo". While it was a Japanese animation, it was just...twisted...
T: *Shrugs* "Silence of the Lambs" was interesting. Though "Clockwork Orange" and "Funny Games" were good. Not particularly sure that's horror though. The "Saw" movies are definitely amusing.
J: I haven't viewed many, so I have no opinion on the matter.
Interviewer: 70. Do you like comedies?
O: I do! It is always nice to have a good laugh, puts me in a good mood. *Smiles*
T: *Shrugs* Dark comedy is best, not all this romantic comedy crap. It seems most comedies these days are just ridiculous. If only someone would kill those actors...or even better, the morons who think it's brilliant to create them in the first place.
Interviewer: 71. Are you a smoker?
O: No! I try to keep myself healthy, and that is certainly not something indicative of health.
T: Nope. It's disgusting.
Interviewer: 72. Do you smoke cigars/cigarillos?
O: Nope! Never have, and never will.
T: *Increasingly annoyed* Isn't this just a rehash of the last question? Whatever. *Bored* No.
Interviewer: 73. Do you have anger problems?
O: I don't believe so. *Smiles* I don't get angry very often.
T: Yep! Wouldn't you know that by now?!
J: No. I believe you previously asked a fairly similar question.
Interviewer: 74. Do you know someone who has a mental illness?
O: *Thinks* Uhm...No one to my knowledge. But lots of people don't openly share something like that...so I can't be sure. Sorry.
T: Who knows. Probably this guy. *Points at Johan*
J: I believe my mental being is of a sound state.
T: *Rolls eyes* Whatever.
Interviewer: Ahem. Johan?
J: Yes. Many have such afflictions. *Glances at Oliver/Tom*
O: *Looks at Johan and interviewer* Why are you two looking at me like that? *Concerned, confused*
Interviewer: Yes...Why indeed...75. Have you had someone close to you die of cancer?
O: Fortunately, no. I can't imagine how difficult that would be...
T: Nope. It would be interesting to watch someone die that way though.
Interviewer: 76. What do you want to be next Halloween?
O: Oooh! Perhaps a pirate? Arr ye maties! *Amuses self* Actually, I don't dress up for Halloween anymore...
T: I don't dress up. I don't participate. Though if I recall correctly, I usually kill a few more people than usual that night. *Smirks*
J: Such banalities do not merit participation or thought.
T: That's a no.
Interviewer: I gathered that. 77. What grade are you in?
O: Uhm, I don't go to school anymore. I suppose I probably should have gone to college...*Sighs* That never happened.
J: I was enrolled in university a year prior to this date, but I've since removed myself from the education system.
Interviewer: 78. When do you graduate?
O: *Disappointed* Never.
T: Not happening.
J: Such a question is not practically applied in this instance, as I graduated one year ago. Perhaps re-phrasing it would have been beneficial.
Interviewer: ....79. Do you talk to yourself?
O: *Embarrassed* ...Yeah, I guess I do every once in a while.
T: Not really, no.
Interviewer: 80. What colour is your hair?
O: Brown. Though in the summer it can get lighter, sometimes almost blond.
T: Same as him. Obviously. *Bored*
Interviewer: 81. Has anyone ever told you you have a nice smile?
O: Yes I think a few people have before. Which was nice. *Smiles*
T: Nope. *Smirk* I think it freaks people out. *Laughs*
Interviewer: *Looks at Johan*...I used to think it was nice...but now that I know you more...it's unsettling.....82. Nice eyes?
O: Uhm...Yeah, I think so. I think at least one person has.
T: Who knows? *Taps fingers on the arm of the chair impatiently*
J: Yes. It seems many people find my appearance pleasing.
Interviewer: ...83. Ever broken a bone?
O: *Casts eyes to floor* ...yes...my brother thought it would be fun...a few fingers here and there.... *Touches left arm* ...my arm...
T: *Laughs* What fun it was. *Smirk* Nope.
Interviewer: 84. Got a black eye?
O: ...Yes.. *Sad, almost blank look* ...Can we stop this line of questioning, please?
T: Yep. Some people fight quite thoroughly for their lives.
Interviewer: 85. Nose bleed?
T: I suppose it happens.
Interviewer: 86. Ever been so mad you cried?
O: Yes. Sometimes. That doesn't happen much anymore.
T: That's ludicrous.
Interviewer: 87. What's your favourite quote?
O: Ahh! *Conflicted* There are so many good ones though...I guess: "We are all but recent leaves on the same old tree of life and if this life has adapted itself to new functions and conditions, it uses the same old basic principles over and over again. There is no real difference between the grass and the man who mows it".
T: I agree that there are too many to only choose one. "Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane". "When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you".
J: "I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying". Perhaps "By daily dying I have come to be", "There is no tomorrow. There is only a planet turning on its axis, and a creature given to optimistic fancies".
"Would there be this eternal seeking if the found existed?" - specifically, think of this purported "purpose in life" when regarding that quote.
Ultimately, this is the one composed of pure truth, "Life has the name of life, but in reality it is death".
Interviewer: ...Are you all finished? I was looking for one quote. *Annoyed*
O: Sorry...yes, I'm done..
T: Yep. Done. *Gives the interviewer the middle finger*
Interviewer: Good. 88. Are you listening to anything right now?
O: *Confused* Listening to...? ...I suppose the air conditioning?...?
T: Not your whiny voice, that's certain.
J: Everyone's voice. This string of conversation in its entirety.
Interviewer: ....89. What are you addicted too?
O: Uhm... *Ashamed* Maybe...alcohol....*Looks at ground*
T: *Smirks* Murder, destruction, all that. Obviously.
J: I have no dependencies.
Interviewer: 90. Do you like silver hair?
O: *Thinks* Yeah, it can look distinguished. *Smiles*
T: *Shrugs* I don't care.
J: I do not have an opinion on the subject.
Interviewer: 91. Would you ever fight a famous boxer?
O: No! I don't want to take the chance.
T: Sure. Why not. Sounds entertaining.
Interviewer: 92. Could you take on kimbo slice?
O: Erm...I don't know...
J: Am I capable of such a feat? Yes, I believe so.
Interviewer: 93. Can you even fist fight?
O: Yes I can, but I prefer not to...
T: Most certainly yes.
J: Yes. Per contra, that is not normally how I conduct my ventures.
Interviewer: 94. Do you work out?
O: Yes! *Smiles* I like staying fit and healthy.
T: Yep. *Scoffs at interviewer* Doesn't look like you do, though.
J: In a way, yes.
T: *Narrows eyes* And that means?
Interviewer: *Sigh* I thought you wanted this over with, Tom?
T: *Angry silence* Yep.
Interviewer: Good. Lets continue. 95. Are you in good physical condition?
O: I believe so, yes. *Smiles*
Interviewer: 96. Do you get creeped out by puppets?
O: Puppets? Not really, no. They're sorta funny, I guess.
T: What sap would be afraid of puppets?!
Interviewer: 97. If you could be any celebrity for one day, who would you be?
O: Interesting question... *Thinks* ...maybe...Oh! Robin Williams! I can imagine that would be quite the day, hah.
Interviewer: Uhm, he's dead.
O: *Shocked silence* ...Really?! *Sad*
T: Fuck celebrities. They're all stuck up.
Interviewer: 98. Do you have any phobias?
O: Yes...*Sad* Death. ...I believe its referred to as thanatophobia...?
T: Oh wow! *Laughs hard* Ironic, huh? Anyway, no, of course I don't.
Interviewer: ....*Slightly confused*...99. Ever been mauled by a wild animal?
O: *Surprised* No. And I hope that never happens!
Interviewer: 100. Do you think you could be a Suicide Boy?
O: Uhm... *Feels sorta awkward* ...Maybe? I suppose it's in the realm of possibility...?
J: I don't believe so.
Interviewer: 101. What about a playboy bunny?
O: Uhm...no...I'm pretty sure playboy bunnies are women. Hahah, I guess I could be a playgirl bunny? *Embarrassed laugh*
Interviewer: 102. Are you an insomniac?
O: Sometimes I stay up late, but I always end up sleeping...So I guess that would be a no.
J: I suppose there are extended periods of time where I continue without sleep. Omitting those instances, I regularly partake in sleep.
Interviewer: 103. Do you take birth control?
O: *Confused* Uhmm...Isn't that for women? ...I always use protection *Blushes slightly*...if that counts... *Embarrassed*....
T: *Laughs* Nope.
Interviewer: 104. Are these questions pointless?
O: ...I hate to admit it...but yeah, I think this whole thing mostly was...Sorry...
T: Yes. Very. Fucking. Pointless. This whole day was just pissed away. *Menacing stare*
J: Yes. Though pointlessness is the epitome of life.
Interviewer: ...105. Favourite colour?
O: Uhm... *Thinks* ... *Conflicted* There are too many nice colours. I can't decide...sorry.
T: Red. Crimson to be precise. *Stares directly at interviewer, smirk on face*
*Silence in the room*
O: *Slightly confused* Uhm...Sorry, but...are there anymore questions?
Interviewer: Nope. You are now free to go.
O: Ok! Thank you! *Stands up* Nice meeting you, have a good day. *Smiles*
T: *Slides switchblade from pocket* *Turns on interviewer, blade in hand* That was a fucking terrible interview!
Interviewer: *Jumps from chair* P-please! Just leave!
T: *Advances on interviewer* That abomination of an interview took up nearly my entire day! *Irritated* I didn't even get to kill anyone yet. *Angry sigh* By now I would have had at least 3 corpses to dismember.
Interviewer: *Wide, frightened eyes* *Starts slowly moving toward the window*
T: Well...It's alright. *Smirk* You wasted my time, so I'm going to take away yours.
J: *Watches silently, slight smile still present*
T: *Grabs interviewer* *Shoves against wall* This is already much more fun! *Forces open interviewer's mouth when began to scream* *Stabs and rips out tongue* Now the real entertainment can begin!