Through the hall Nobody walked, talking to nobody as everyone talked,
In class Nobody fell asleep, but the teacher didn?t yell nor did she scream,
He knew that she saw him, with his head on the desk, but guessed that she didn?t care,
And soon class ended, then everyone left, leaving him slouching there,
At lunch Nobody sat at the table, the one where nobody sat,
Not eating, he was alone; no food could ever change that,
At home Nobody wasn?t alone, but really wished he were,
?Cause all he felt was hatred, after that was just a blur,
On weekends Nobody would call his friend, she?d wonder why he called,
After 9th grade he hadn't been the same, not quite the same at all,
And then came the night, the night of the fight,
Nobody cringed when it began; His dad had had the upper hand,
And he fell to the floor once again,
Then after awhile the beatings stopped, and his father let him go,
So, crying, Nobody crawled into bed, if only he had known,
His internal bleeding was too severe, and next morning they found him dead,
On Monday Nobody?s seat was empty, but no one seemed to care,
Since no one sitting in Nobody?s desk was the same as having him there.
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Nobody
Started by
Laughing Boy
, Mar 30 2008 08:38 AM
#1
Posted 30 March 2008 - 08:38 AM
#2
Posted 30 March 2008 - 12:33 PM
Wow thats kind of intense.
#3
Posted 30 March 2008 - 12:59 PM
Thanks! uh... is intense good?
#4
Posted 30 March 2008 - 01:03 PM
yeah intense is good. Means i felt the emotion in it. I kind of relate to it too. At school i could just stop showing up and nobdy would care.
I dont relate to the beating part though. my parents never lay a hand on me. they don't even yell at me. I'm kind of invisible at home too.
Anyway i liked it.
I dont relate to the beating part though. my parents never lay a hand on me. they don't even yell at me. I'm kind of invisible at home too.
Anyway i liked it.
#5
Posted 30 March 2008 - 01:10 PM
Oh I see. Yeah Apathetic parents can be very detrimental as well.
If it's any consolation my mother's very much that way too.
If it's any consolation my mother's very much that way too.
#6
Posted 30 March 2008 - 01:15 PM
i think its a pretty good one
u could make some chenges on your way 2 perfection
u could make some chenges on your way 2 perfection
#7
Posted 30 March 2008 - 01:19 PM
what did you have in mind?
#8
Posted 30 March 2008 - 01:36 PM
really amazing job, and i agree with the comment on it being intense.
awesome, i loved it. =]
awesome, i loved it. =]
#9
Posted 30 March 2008 - 03:55 PM
I really like it.
To be honest, I'm usually very critical of poems with this sort of subject matter, but this one is really well done. The flow isn't perfect, I had to read it twice to understand it all, but the imagery is excellent.
To be honest, I'm usually very critical of poems with this sort of subject matter, but this one is really well done. The flow isn't perfect, I had to read it twice to understand it all, but the imagery is excellent.
#10
Posted 30 March 2008 - 08:36 PM
really nice....*thumbs up*
#11
Posted 31 March 2008 - 01:54 AM
that was good, i liked it !
#12
Posted 31 March 2008 - 04:30 AM
it was astounding.
it was really intense.
I really, really liked it.
great job.
it was really intense.
I really, really liked it.
great job.
#13
Posted 31 March 2008 - 09:43 AM
wow.. i loved it...
amazing!!!
amazing!!!
#14
Posted 31 March 2008 - 02:59 PM
I didn't really expect such a good reception
Thanks everyone!~
I guess I'll be posting some more of my poetry soon
Thanks everyone!~
I guess I'll be posting some more of my poetry soon
#15
Posted 31 March 2008 - 04:21 PM
The Zoo
Pretty faces pressed
And fogging the glass
Laugh at what he does
Yell, make a fuss!
Deposit your worries in this cage
On this thing, with luck, he?ll die middle aged
From a stress induced tick
With a cold nozzle?s ?click?
All of your worries
Become bloody gore flurries
?Cause he?s there for your relief
?till he can?t take no more
No need to be brief
Please pay at the door
Pretty faces pressed
And fogging the glass
Laugh at what he does
Yell, make a fuss!
Deposit your worries in this cage
On this thing, with luck, he?ll die middle aged
From a stress induced tick
With a cold nozzle?s ?click?
All of your worries
Become bloody gore flurries
?Cause he?s there for your relief
?till he can?t take no more
No need to be brief
Please pay at the door
#16
Posted 01 April 2008 - 11:12 AM
JESUS CHRIST...i dont rly know what to say except that was excellent man. Awsome.
It was like instant tears while I was reading it. It rly hits home man. GREAT WORK.
It was like instant tears while I was reading it. It rly hits home man. GREAT WORK.
#17
Posted 01 April 2008 - 05:33 PM
ah thank you~
I don't really know which to post next... I have quite a bit...
how 'bout this one...
----------------
Depression
Four against one
For four years of hate
I?ll never be ready
You just couldn?t wait
You stapled my veins
And I rained from the banister
Like a tagger, I emptied a blood-ridden canister
On the walls that surround, and shroud this scene
But please just know, they can?t hide the screams
And with every blow I take
The beast inside becomes more awake
I wished for an ending of me
Laughed along as you cut me off at the knee
But you took my wish
And answered with a hiss
?Your pain is too fun to ever end this.?
I don't really know which to post next... I have quite a bit...
how 'bout this one...
----------------
Depression
Four against one
For four years of hate
I?ll never be ready
You just couldn?t wait
You stapled my veins
And I rained from the banister
Like a tagger, I emptied a blood-ridden canister
On the walls that surround, and shroud this scene
But please just know, they can?t hide the screams
And with every blow I take
The beast inside becomes more awake
I wished for an ending of me
Laughed along as you cut me off at the knee
But you took my wish
And answered with a hiss
?Your pain is too fun to ever end this.?
#18
Posted 02 April 2008 - 09:01 AM
that was amazing
and it was it intense
well done
and it was it intense
well done
#19
Posted 02 April 2008 - 05:35 PM
Thanks, I'm glad you like it~
----------------------
The Play
I?m sorry for the wait my dear
There?s not much left to take from here
I?ll leave my set; I?ll leave my desk
The heartache I?ll take
They stole the rest
I?ll be back in a month or two
In the car on the way I?ll rest
For the play I?ll put on just for you
I?ll smile in the way us actors do
Sleep in this bed unfamiliar to the dew
Of my eyes in the dark
So happy that you
Have bought this story
Eyes so pretty, free of worry
And even though this show, takes its toll
You love the part I seem to loath
That?s all it takes, the joy on your face
Just for your laughter it?s never a waste
This pain is a pleasure, even at this measure
Just for your smile
That makes my heart race
----------------------
The Play
I?m sorry for the wait my dear
There?s not much left to take from here
I?ll leave my set; I?ll leave my desk
The heartache I?ll take
They stole the rest
I?ll be back in a month or two
In the car on the way I?ll rest
For the play I?ll put on just for you
I?ll smile in the way us actors do
Sleep in this bed unfamiliar to the dew
Of my eyes in the dark
So happy that you
Have bought this story
Eyes so pretty, free of worry
And even though this show, takes its toll
You love the part I seem to loath
That?s all it takes, the joy on your face
Just for your laughter it?s never a waste
This pain is a pleasure, even at this measure
Just for your smile
That makes my heart race
#20
Posted 02 April 2008 - 06:51 PM
really good poems....keep it up
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