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19 replies to this topic

#1
Ectomy

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When you were five you learned
That some words were bad and for grownups only
And some actions had to be kept quiet
Because you didn't want anyone sick or hurt;
You learned that "pussy" was three things;
Something you'll want when you're older,
Something you call people to make them do things,
And a small fuzzy animal that doesn't like you much;
But you never really understood it for what it was.

When you were ten you learned
That not all kids made the baseball teams,
That coaches didn't care why you couldn't run fast
They had no idea about the pain between your thighs;
That wasn't normal and they never would have guessed.
No reason to guess, you seemed well-adjusted
Though submissive to others and always, always tired...
You learned what narcotics were but promptly forgot
And then you learned sex as though
It was something dirty;
Something you weren't supposed to be familiar with.

When you were fifteen you learned
That downers live in your bloodstream.
They suck everything out of you and let you be numb. Nothing.
Write out a list of what's wrong and that the top you'll see a little gold star
Where the teacher gave you an A and a strange expression
Because she knew, though she'll never admit she knew,
That you dampened your wrists before you cut them
Because you're too scared of getting sick.
You learned where to get a razor at an art store
And how to get the Scotch from the cabinet without them knowing
And how to hide your pain pills.
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#2
Infinity

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wow. you should seriously look into getting published.
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#3
Deathcore Softie

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Wow....
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#4
BlueEyedElf

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why is this to be disregarded after the 24th?

very good...the pussy part made me laugh
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#5
Ectomy

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QUOTE (Seraph @ Oct 20 2010, 07:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
wow. you should seriously look into getting published.


Then my work wouldn't be free for all to read.

QUOTE (Prince Charming @ Oct 20 2010, 09:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow....


Thank you ^^

QUOTE (BlueEyedElf @ Oct 20 2010, 07:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
why is this to be disregarded after the 24th?

very good...the pussy part made me laugh


I'm trying not to have more than a couple things on the front page at one time.
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#6
Hyena.

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You can have as many things on the front page as you've posted, Ectomy. God knows I'd prefer your stuff to what usually fills up the poetry section.
Then again, some of it may be moved, if members nominate it to be.
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#7
NazTheCatfishFucker

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QUOTE (Locust. @ Oct 21 2010, 07:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You can have as many things on the front page as you've posted, Ectomy. God knows I'd prefer your stuff to what usually fills up the poetry section.
Then again, some of it may be moved, if members nominate it to be.

^ This

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#8
finality

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QUOTE (Ectomy @ Oct 21 2010, 01:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Then my work wouldn't be free for all to read.
Thank you ^^
I'm trying not to have more than a couple things on the front page at one time.

I'm sure I told you that applied to the newbies who post about 20 poems in separate threads simultaneously. Feel free to post as often as you like.
Moving this to best poems.
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#9
Ectomy

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WHOA.

I have two things in Best Poems?!

thankyouguys <3
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#10
1237

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Congratulations. biggrin.gif One of my favorites from you.
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#11
Reflection

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You're fucking HIRED. smile.gif

Lovin' it and yeah definitely deserves best poetry.

And you could always publish it independently, though that is a ton of work, that way it wouldn't condemn your work to sit on a shelf....

Glad you don't want to be greedy, but yeah... you definitely have the skill to get paid.
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#12
Ectomy

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QUOTE (1237 @ Nov 16 2010, 08:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Congratulations. biggrin.gif One of my favorites from you.


WOO! YOU HAVE FAVORITES FROM ME!

QUOTE (Reflection @ Nov 16 2010, 08:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You're fucking HIRED. smile.gif

Lovin' it and yeah definitely deserves best poetry.

And you could always publish it independently, though that is a ton of work, that way it wouldn't condemn your work to sit on a shelf....

Glad you don't want to be greedy, but yeah... you definitely have the skill to get paid.


Heh... I don't even save most of these. It would take me about half a year just to find it all and compile it into a readable format, let alone the time it would take to publish, and the fact that I would have to then explain to my parents and such exactly what I'm writing, because I'm underage and can't get paid for my work without them knowing about it. In the end I think upblishing takes too much from my work. I'd rather it be here to see and not restricted by a hundred laws about its use. In case you didn't know, or ANYONE didn't know, I don't mind when my work is stolen. It's about freedom and expression.

Though I do find it sad and pathetic to see stolen work floating around.

QUOTE (TickleMeJessmo @ Nov 19 2010, 02:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Definitely worthy of being in the best poetry section. And don't worry about a certain number being on the front page, I would certainly much rather read your work. I know you have a following of members who read your poetry quite frequently and enjoy it. As a few have said, I'd rather read your work than most of the others in this section. 

As for this piece, I did really enjoy it. I do think you should look into perhaps writing professionally, you certainly do have skills, that's undeniable. Just keep working on your poetry, sometimes you can change one word and it just makes the poem. I did really enjoy this, as I do with most of your work. You have a particular way with little phrases which are quite unusual and unique, but which can often be really really heart wrenching and just hint at further problems or issues, which is good, you don't need your poetry to spell out what you're saying.

You're probably one of the best we have in this section, though obviously that doesn't mean a huge amount, but I'm sure it's still somewhat nice to hear, lol. Thank you so much for sharing your work with us. smile.gif 

Do you keep all of your poetry together? Would you like to be published? smile.gif  


I don't keep it all, in fact, I don't save much of it at all. I don't plan to publish my poetry, but I write a lot of prose that I DO plan to publish. I'm working on something about male anorexia right now, it's called Carrots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you all, especially Jess (for her long and detailed commentary that convinced me you aren't all just saying you like it because I'm unstable XD) smile.gif
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#13
Hyena.

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Prose? How delicious, do share when you feel ready. I eagerly await it.

Otherwise, congrats - you have no idea how long it took me to choose which of the many poems you've written I should reccomend to my comrades for moving here. If it was allowed, you'd probably just post straight into here rather than waiting to have your stuff moved. I look forward to many more weeks and months of your work.
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#14
AfterlifexAutumn

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That was really good. Very detailed. You are a very good poet! I can really relate to this.

Keep up the good work (:
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#15
pointless life

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that is no doubt the best thing i have ever read
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#16
*..BMA...vanna...*

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the reason why i like what you wrote is because its true.i can relate its funny thats just how i remember life to be as i grew and still am, but if at fifteen and thats the place we at in our lives its scary to now what the future holds
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#17
innocece_is_gone

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wow.... you are really amazing :) ...
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#18
JudgeMeIfYouMay

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I can't say anything to this... I'm speechless.. But wow... WOW!!
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#19
lonliness_impending

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your poem is very similar to the concept that is addressed in the poem given as a gift from charlie to sam in the story 'perks of being a walflower' check it out

or you have already
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#20
EastWaveBoarder

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You work still amazing me. Haha

But it kinda ended oddly [maybe just to me]. I was waiting for something else I suppose. But it's a personal thing I suppose. I still love it E>
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