Jump to content

Welcome to Emo Forums
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

Yet To Be Named

- - - - -

  • Please log in to reply
1 reply to this topic

#1
rainedays

rainedays

    Delicate Snowflake

  • Full Members
  • Pip
  • 8 posts

This is really unoriginal in this forum but oh well-

 

The girl ends her bloodless reign
Terror consumes a still pumping vein
Sees them coming-should she stay?
Our hearts beat faster when they're hurting all day
 
Fire burning through the broken night
Tickling our fingers is the bright blue light
She asks us to fall and we just might
The jagged rocks come with death; we don't fight
 
Everyone she loves-eternally frozen cold
Never to see them again unless she wins the gold
The knife is what she dearly holds
Too deep it cuts, her tale already told
 
She sings herself a lullaby
Ready to sleep, to say goodbye
Why did she choose this; why, oh, why?
The girl says "Let me go and leave me to die."
 
Yep. I know. Tell me how sucky it is :/

  • 0

#2
EspoirTheMage

EspoirTheMage

    EC's Welcome Wagon

  • Full Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,140 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Where the sticks run free around the jealous trees
  • Country
  • Fav Band -x-
  • Fav Song Fields of gold-Sting

ignoring the topic of this poem completely, this poem is actually pretty good. The last part of this stanza didn't flow correctly.

 

 

 

She sings herself a lullaby
Ready to sleep, to say goodbye
Why did she choose this; why, oh, why?
The girl says "Let me go and leave me to die."
 
 

 

 

 

 

Fire burning through the broken night

Tickling our fingers is the bright blue light
She asks us to fall and we just might
The jagged rocks come with death; we don't fight
 
the last part also is cluttered and needs to be revised.
 
if you need help with ideas, feel free to ask! this site helped me a lot with my writing.

  • 0




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users