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My Corner: Past, Present, And Emotion. (Plz Read)

Depressed Sensitive Past Heartbreak

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12 replies to this topic

#1
Luisman

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Hey guys, it's me Luisman. I would appreciate it if you took time to read my story. It's kinda long but I hope someone can relate and or give advice. Let it be said that I was diagnosed with Aspergers. (I think it's BS, let me know if you think I might indeed have it.)
So it might be hard for me to communicate. Anyway..
It begins: Since middle school I always had a strong will. I was raised believing that anything is possible. And I could achieve anything if I tried hard enough. And I did. Coming out of middle school I felt more mature then other kids. (Mostly because of my Dad. He was strict but yet he loved us. Took me and my siblings as his own. Even after my half brother was born. He's down to earth and has a very realistic opinion on everything. And he's a great teacher. If it was up to me I'd make him a saint. More on why later. Let's stay on topic here..) So it's no surprise I'm a lot like my stepdad. (I never met my real dad, he left when I was five.) With a strong moral foundation, I felt and behaved more mature than most kids. I was well behaved as well. Going into high school I had everything. Money, was popular, and even feared. Honestly I became cocky. I wanted to be liked by everyone. And I knew who I was pretending to be was not the real me and was wrong. But all that began to change.
Reality Check:
Then I met her. We became friends. Had closest bond I ever had with a girl.
Then she was gone. No word nothing, poof. Just like that. She came back. We talked and argued. She said I was too full of myself and was never going to change. Then she left. I never even got to tell her that.. I loved her. I haven't seen her to this day. I changed. Completely. I miss her to this day and I think about her at least once every day. People judged me, hated me for a while and I became sensitive. Self conscious too. Thing about it is tho, I feel like I lost a part of myself. I dropped out of school. Got a job. Lost it. Got another job. Lost that.

Present Day:
Now, no friends and barely a family fortunately intact.. I return once again a senior to finish my last semester of class & Graduate!! I can get upset at times and doubt things. The few relationships I've had have dropped cold and because of it it's hard for me to trust people. I'm really honest and like to help people. I love animals and music. Also the type of music I listen to at any given moment reflects how I feel at the time. Is it strange? Also I can go from happy to sit and cry upset in a second. I'm slim for my age but feel as skinny and frail as Curt Cobain. What can I do to balance my emotions and get back into life?
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#2
Okano

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What's up man. Your story matches mine by about 99%. Seriously I thought I wrote that word for word.

Though we've never met, I can guess that you don't have aspbergers. Am I right to say that maybe you are kind of bitter, maybe an asshole to people at times, and you don't fit in anywhere?

Nice to meet you by the way, I'm Okano.
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#3
Luisman

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Hey Okano, yea I used to be kinda bitter. And stuff. And your right, it is hard for me to fit in anywhere. Ah I thought I was the only one who's experienced this. And I'm so relieved to hear I might not have aspergers!! Lol
Nice meeting you btw :)
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#4
Okano

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Hey Okano, yea I used to be kinda bitter. And stuff. And your right, it is hard for me to fit in anywhere. Ah I thought I was the only one who's experienced this. And I'm so relieved to hear I might not have aspergers!! Lol
Nice meeting you btw :)

You should get 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and even 5th opinions before you resign yourself to being diagnosed as anything. Remember that in the US there is a diagnosis for anything and everything. The diagnosing criteria commonly referred to is the "DSM V" In the past it has been written by special interest people which were supposedly elected. Some of the representatives who wrote previous DSM such as the "DSM IV" were representatives of drug companies. Just keep that in mind.

Anyway, the most important thing you should take from this is this...don't be something you're not. Be you. Yeah you'll probably be very different from everyone else, but that's when conversation happens and people will like you for it.
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#5
Luisman

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Your right. No matter what I'm always myself. Yea I can get a little moody at times but that's me. I'm proud of who I am. That won't change. I just wouldn't know what to do if I did have aspergers, because never in my life have I had something (medical) that could have the potential to change how I view things and stuff.
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#6
torturedninja2

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Hey  luisman I'm torturedninja. I relate a lot of your story to my life. I think that you changing had a positive aspect on your life. If you do meet someone you become close to, don't let them change you back into someone you're not. And I'm with okano- being yourself is  the most important thing you can get out of this. Good luck in the future, bro! :)


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#7
Luisman

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Thnx man. I appreciate it.
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#8
Okano

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.


Sup.

How are you doing? Has anything changed? What have you thought about?
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#9
Luisman

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Yea. I met someone.
And my bros health took a dive.
He had his gallbladder removed and it was discovered that he had fluid in his lungs. He is being kept asleep for a day.
And I've had a lot of thoughts on life recently.
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#10
Okano

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Yea. I met someone.
And my bros health took a dive.
He had his gallbladder removed and it was discovered that he had fluid in his lungs. He is being kept asleep for a day.
And I've had a lot of thoughts on life recently.


I'm sorry about your brother. What is his name?

Thoughts on life like what?
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#11
Luisman

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We lost him. It was his heart. :/
He died today. On holloween.
I want to talk to you when your online if that's ok.
:/ your the only one I talk to.
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#12
Luisman

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So my life is hell. It took a turn for the worst. And people expect me to be positive. It's impossible. My brother was a saint. God should have taken me instead. Now I'm stuck having to deal with all this bullshit. I don't know what to do.
I guess I'm a loser. I'm alone, angry, scared, anxious and tired. No one really cares.
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#13
Neitty

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Hi McBeth, You can use the Options->Terrain->Set texture menu option in Sapphire to select the different map layers as the terrain drape image. Is that OK? Best regards, Aaron. неплохо придумали https://vk.com/club95255464
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